Once a recruiter called me

Recruiter: Hi, We are looking for an Android developer with n+ years of experience

Me: Umm ok. Actually I am not a full fledged native Android developer, but I can work on hybrid platform where we can create an App for Android using Web Technologies like html and javascript

Recruiter : ohh I will talk to our tech team and get back to you

Me: Sure. Thank you

-Next day-

Recruiter : so you can create an Android application right

Me: yes but using web technologies not JAVA

Recruiter : ok your interview is scheduled on x date and you will get an email

Me: ok cool. Thanks

-Interview day-

Interviewer : so lets start with the technical round, tell me what are Fragments

Me: :| i know what is a Fragment but I am not a native developer but Hybrid application developer like in phonegap - cordova using javascript

Interviewer: ohh but our App is in native Android and native IOS

Me: da faq :| (why the fuck did you call me then)

Interviewer : nice meeting you man

Me: :|||

- Next day same Recruiter again called me-

Recruiter : So how was your Interview?

Me: Actually they are looking for native developer, i told you i dont work on native

Recruiter : So your interview WENT BAD!

ME: What da FUCK :||||||

-Again same day after sometime-

Recruiter : So can you make Apps for IOS?

Me: What the fuckin fuck... :|||||||¦

Joins Skype group dev talk
20mins in mutes microphone
Co worker mentions something I am working on
Me: starts talking for a minute
Coworker: randomly interrupts me, like legit no warning, he just started talking....
Me: wait what da faq

OH wait I'm not mute....

Shit

When you work super hard for 3 years to acquire skills to get a job at your Dream Startup

Then finally after joining,
WITHIN 3 MONTHS, unfortunately, you become a victim of MASS LAYOFFS :|
Since your company is shutting down that particular business

The fuckkk :/

DA FAQ DONT ASK ME TO COMPLETELY CHANGE THE FUCKING UI U BASTARD!!! I HAVE SPENT HOURS ON SOME PARTS!😣😡👿

"One small change, just put the locations in GPS order."

Oh god da faq is gps order.

He means, insert a solution to the traveling salesman problem. He thinks, it's as easy as alphabetical ordering.

Fml

You know the company itself is stupid when its main selection criteria for developers, is high score in
"online 2 mins IQ test"

Da faq :|

Sadly (?) the company is defunct now :|