A wise man once said.

A little learning is a dangerous thing;
drink deep, or taste not the Pierian spring:
there shallow draughts intoxicate the brain,
and drinking largely sobers us again.

In order to function well, you must ensure your basic needs are being met. Like sleeping well, eating well, resting well. Otherwise we derail.

Paradoxically, self love results in loving others. Because we are functioning well, we behave. I guess it's just my case. Whatever problems I have, chronically being stressed or tired just overdrives it.

I need to be really careful on how to I treat others, especially my loved ones. Strange, how I treat people I work with nicely and professionally. But in reality, these people are not even my friends.

Also a wise man on devRant said "Forgive yourself and study zen scriptures. Find solace in nature and serve others." Since I deleted the rant, I don't remember who it was. Anyway, thank you. Also, thank all of your comments of raw feedback. It really helps me think and reflect on myself and actions.

The best value I can give others is by not being there. That's how I felt at work and in society, weird times.

Recently, going to gym and sleeping early made me look way better. I'm thankful for that. And coming to work early everyday and managing work-life made me feel like I'm doing well.