Didn't zoos globally end more rare wildlife than they safed or something?

I once told one of my therapists about how, despite not actively being suicidal anymore, I still had this comforting thought of "if X doesn't work out, I can still kill myself the next day or something" way after that time.

We also talked about how I often have to rewatch shows and movies that actively remind me of the worst times in my lives, when I was a helplessly depressed 14 - 16 years old, thinking about killing myself.

The feeling itself was comforting, despite feeling worthless and like a failure.

It's the thought of control that I otherwise don't have over my own life. When I do this, it's my own decision to put myself into this place again, not anyone else's, as most things usually are.

🎃

Sadly, I have one.

There were meetups way back.

@tosensei Sadly, it kinda is. I didn't say it's good, but it definitely is 😩

Can't imagine because TÜV

Stop insulting german culture

@ODXT luv u

It's probably best to try to calm down once your initial panic attack is over and remember that you didn't do anything official yet.

Depending on the situation that made you say this and what the working climate usually is like, it might be wise to just admit that you were just mad and said something you didn't mean.

It might help to explain what exactly made you feel that way to hopefully make them understand a bit.

@ODXT I said cuties.

> Someone posted a comment

> It's Alice

> Happy

@kiki Fuck.

@kiki I'm so sorry. Nobody should be treated this way. Sadly there are absolute monsters who get children and then think their children owe them for it.

On a side note, I lost my ability to read things like books properly during the last few years because of autistic burnout due to all the stress I had. Slowly getting back to reading a few pages per month, but it's still hard for me to read a page and keep the information because I partly don't even understand what the texts want to tell me anymore.

I can't imagine how much worse it must be to lose that ability completely on a neurological level.

@kiki Yeah, it was and sometimes still is the same with mine.

There was also the fact that she (and my teachers), when I was a kid, used all these things that should've been there to help me, as threats only, (Stuff like schools for disabled children, learning disabilities & developmental disabilities) because nobody knew I was autistic all this time. So of course things like these are used as a bad thing, because fuck everyone who's disabled, fucking losers, right?

Today, she keeps reading stuff about autism, but in the end, she doesn't care about any of my traits. She still constantly starts fights because "you should know this." and "what you said clearly implies [bad thing]" (I hate it so, so, sooooooooooooo much how this society operates on people throwing away the meanings of the words you said and just make up implications you never even thought)

And everyone around me already knew I'm autistic right after my diagnosis without me ever agreeing to telling people.

@kiki I can relate to a lot of stuff you wrote in those two posts. Especially the being taken advantage of, constantly being pushed back because you are treated like you are not your own person. I will also never forgive mine for how she never questioned the possibility of, nor how she handles me being autistic. Just saw me struggling all my life and everything was just me being lazy and I should know better and everyone knows this and that and just try harder.

Fuck yeah

@kiki yes 🤗 How are you?

@retoor I did indeed

@undaunted would you be interested in continuing to chat on Discord?

@undaunted Oh that's nice.

I found my new main hobby in ttrpgs such as Dungeons & Dragons and Call of Cthulhu.

@Tayo I'm sorry for hitting you with it on your day back 😩

@undaunted I'm also happy when old members remember me.

To be fair, I'm not really active on any platform aside from Discord, TikTok and a few art related websites, so it's not that I make a huge difference between this platform and others nowadays.

A lot of stuff cleared up on my mind the past few years and I realized active text platforms are just not mine.

@undaunted Yeah, I don't really associate with this community anymore. I just look at it like 3 or 4 times a year in total of which most are because someone mentions it to me in some way - and if I remember to do it, I write my one post.

@undaunted Heeey

Yeah, wrote my yearly post earlier

👋🏻

Performance-wise that's the same experience you get when you disable adblock on any popular website after a decade of using adblockers.

@ScriptCoded Do you have any stories you want to share?

@Lensflare You could try looking for a group locally (there are websites for that) or play online using a VTT (virtual tabletop) website / software and Discord or similar. The group I'm GMing is exactly doing that.

What is keeping you from pursuing the information that you are after?