When the PM says that it's a 'temp solution'

Most of my company clients

For the first time in 18 years, it only takes two keys to type the year. (2002)

Was at my sisters place a little ago and somehow we came at the subject of her laptop.
For everyone who thinks I'm posting this solely to hate on windows, I'm not. This really happened and if you don't believe it, well, so be it, I guess.
Also keep in mind that's she's using a stock version without anything except for word and itunes installed.

She got it a couple of years ago and I dual booted it for her (windows + ubuntu). I fully expected her to use windows because of office and outlook etc.

Asked her anyways:

Me: So, you've got dual boot, although I think already know the answer, what system do you use mostly? (I didn't even consider that there was a possibility that the answer would be ubuntu or linux)
Sister: Ubuntu!
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me: 😵
Me: Sorry, what? You're not using windows as primary system?!
Sister: No. It at first takes that motherfucking system about 5 minutes to reach the FUCKING LOGIN SCREEN.
Me: Ow, that's bad :/
Me: *turns laptop on and indeed, it takes a fuckton of time*
Me: Is the password still the same as when I set it up for you?
Sister: Yesss.
Me: *types the password, it's working, loading screen appears*
Sister: Would you like a coffee?
Me: Uhm.... sure? But that would take you about 10-15 minutes to make.......?
Sister: Yes. And that's exactly how long it takes before that fucking piece of shit called windows has finally loaded the FUCKING DESKTOP.
Me: 😅
Me: Okay but it can't be that bad, right? I mean, I hate windows but you mostly need it for studies and such and as you know I'm not judging you for tha......
Sister: YES IT IS THAT FUCKING BAD. WHEN I'M IN CLASS, IT TAKES HALF THE FUCKING CLASS TO LOAD BEFORE I CAN OPEN WORD OR WHAT-THE-FUCK EVER.
THAT'S WHY I USE UBUNTU PRIMARILY, BECAUSE, ALTOUGH IT'S NOT MY FAVOURITE SYSTEM, IT. JUST. FUCKING. WORKS.

Well, I did definitely NOT see that one coming!

There is some bloatware on there but definitely as bad as what would cause this. Virus scan turned up empty. No. Fucking. Clue.
It's not a gaming laptop or anything but come on, it should run either windows or linux very well.

It's jithub now.

Google disrespecting Siri 😐😂

When the night is dark, and full of errors! 😅🤞👩🏻‍💻

MiGrusoft

Dad: why do these forms ask me to fill those random characters(captcha)

Me: to verify that you are human

Dad: as if animals can use computers

Me: 😅

Laughter for days 😂😂😂

How many guys have experienced this?

Heard this from a supposed Linux user

Other dev: I have been using Linux for 3 years I'm really good at it.
Then sees me use "cd" and "mv" commands
Other dev: wow that's some complex stuff
Me: 😂😂😂

True story

Thanks @dfox and Tim for the awesome stickers which miraculously made it all the way to Sydney! Love seeing that you guys are so in touch with your audience 😊

Trying to explain to your S/O why a particular snippet of code is so fucking sexy and exciting -- then you get the "WTF are you talking about? 😐"

When I try to follow a stack overflow example...

Time for another update on our slack bot, this time i am armed with a demo...

While(devRanting)
{
productivity--;
}

dev 1: "Use 4 spaces."
dev 2: "2 spaces are better."
dev 3: "No, use tabs!"

Salute...)

manager: we need to design an admin system for a veterinary centre

dev: ok, this is it, remember your training

class Dog extends Animal {}

when you spend hours and days working on something and it actually works...am I forgetting something. I don't trust it.

When you have to edit your StackOverflow question, because you left swearing in the code sample

Most coders think debugging software is about fixing a mistake. But that’s bullshit. Debugging is actually all about finding the bug, about understanding why the bug was there to begin with. About knowing that its existence was no accident. It came to you, to deliver a message, like an unconscious bubble floating to the surface, popping with a revelation you’ve secretly known all along.
-Mr Robot

Lesson Learned

3 monitors. Love it or overkill/excessive?

I love it. Helps me stay organized.

Just put in the paperwork to start my own company. I'm pretty excited!

I got 99 problems, but a build ain't one

Doing a 2am deployment to production in my batman PJs like its normal. More coffee please!

At the risk of starting a war, what are folks opinions on in-line comments?

Personally, I'm against them. Self documenting code for the what, SCM for the why.

Comments can get out of date if not maintained; code cannot lie.

company has Google drive, OneDrive, DropBox accounts, and yet 90% of important documents are distributed via email...

When you get blinded by a white browser page after staring only at your dark themed IDE and black command line for the past 4 hours