Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

When the inventor of the USB stick dies, they'll gently lower the coffin, then pull it back up, turn it the other way, then lower it again.

When your code finally complies after trying to solve a tricky error

What the...!

Wise words.. lol

Sometimes I think, when my Computer would be human, he would punch me in the face for that gibberish I type in and call coding.

But yeah, then more I learn, then more I Level up as a Wizard.

Currently on Level 6 "Wayne Shitbag Wiz0rd"

Testing CSS with caching turned on be like...

True dat

Everytime the client say 'thank you' :)

Code drunk, refactor sober.

Co-workers with low commitment to a project are the worst to have. I am willing to trade technical depth for commitment in a team member any fucking day! Tech is easy to learn, work ethics not so much!

shipping recursion

I drink more and more coffee.

Software Quality

Thanks windows for the best error message ever

So boss finds out that a competitors app has a youtube vid making half a million views.

His response to the lead dev: make one video like that!

Lead: But that video needs at least a video editor to make it, a professional and at least a couple thousands euros.

Boss: you are my best dev just do it, I believe in you...

Worst part is that he tried he made a couple hundred views and boss dissed him that he is useless. Go figure!

By still having the balls to continue making mistakes and learn from them

Me doing CSS:

Bye RAM

When my git became guitar hero 😂😂

Custom software deployment for a big conference in Berlin worked perfectly. Almost didn't need to open visual studio the whole trip.

That almost never happens.
Bye bye Berlin, until next time.

Well...

Whenever im programming in Python it seems like my finger naturally presses the semicolon key after any statement😂

Got Error! Here's the quick fix

terms can only be use in programming: -

Where friends have access to your private parts,

Where Parents may kill their child if required,

Where Bugs come in from open windows,

Where one image is worth 128K words,

Where 10 == 2,

Where Zombies are common and not dangerous *,

Where Daemons are always there somewhere

Where the slimmest of USB drives are considered FAT *,

Where comments are made and arguments are passed, **

Where forever alone nerds can also unzip, touch, mount and fsck ***,

Where root is top of the tree,

Where x = x + y is totally correct,

Where opening a jar requires Java,

Where Oct 31 = Dec 25,

Thanks to ASHISH KEDIA for writing these.

Source :- Quora

So this is my laptop ! I <3 stickers!

My Javascript professor explained Boolean to me using an allegory about pizza: "If I give you pizza, under what condition do you eat it? Your hunger must be true or false. Boolean does the same thing, but with things less exciting than pizza."
It didn't even begin to make sense to me until it became about pizza.
I vote for ALL future computer classes to be taught in terms of pizza.

Gradle, gradle, gradle,
You're made out of c,
Gradle, gradle, gradle,
Package this for me

So I just created a function called GetMinutesFromMinutes... It actually makes sense and I'm not sure if that makes it better or worse :)

Me: Writing js using vi
Also me: Hello darkness my old friend...