Closing 10+ tabs after finding the solution is like flushing the toilet, you don't even look back.

I had a girlfriend
She ransomware
Now I wannacry
Can i petya dog?

I guess now I'll have a date too.

"Hey, can you review this for me real quick?"

No offense tho _/\_

We have a customer that runs an extremely strict security program, which disallows any type of outside connection to their servers.
In order to even correspond with them via email you must undergo background checks and be validated. Then you sign an NDA and another "secrecy level" contract.

Today they had a problem, I was the one assigned to fix it. I asked for a screenshot.
We already use an encrypted mail service, which runs via a special VPN that has enough layers of protection to slow down a photon to the speed of a snail.
The customer's sysadmin encrypted the screenshot and sent it to me.

I open the screenshot and....
He runs Windows 10, uses Google Chrome and has Facebook's WhatsApp desktop app flashing orange in the tray.

😐😣😫😖

Last week, a company(start-up) came for campus recruitment.

This company was known for its long working hours, giving unrealistic deadlines to the employees, less recreational activities, etc.

Even though the pay was very good, some of them were there just to experience the interview process. All those waiting for the HR round, were half-hearted into the process.

This particular guy(a friend of mine) was so determined to be rejected from the company, that he intentionally screwed up his interview (final round).

Towards the end of the interview, the HR asked him to draw a map/path from his hostel to the building in which the interview was being taken.

Once my friend finished making the figure, the interviewer said “Take this same path, and get back to your hostel”.

SAVAGE!

Even though he was successful in getting rejected, the way he got rejected really crushed his ego.

This is what I saw on the Domestic Terminal today. 🤣 Genius!

Today my classmate came up to me and said he was a hacker.

I told him to prove it, and guess what? HE ACTUALLY HACKED GOOGLE!

It was amazing! He impressed so many kids in the class with his skills of pressing F12! How impressive is that?

He even wore a black hoodie and can spell his name in binary code. Not to mention, he changed google doc's page color to black and the font to green as he typed his essay.

I need to be careful... This 1337 h4x0r is really scary.

83w4r3

!Rant
Had an employee evaluation today that I had been anticipating with a lot of anxiety since December. Went in with major impostor syndrome thinking I’m just not contributing enough and I was going to be put on the spot. But, they told me they couldn’t be happier with the work I’ve been doing. Now I can finally relax.

you wont know your rich untill you open all your spam folder

When your backend team is more experienced than the frontend.

Another rant about my gf

She tried HTML and well, cause there are h1, h2, h3... instead of classes, she used div, div2...

I'll never understand how big companies like Amazon can get away with such a shitty UX.

Girl: "hey"

My Brain:
java.lang.NullPointerException:
at net.brain.functions.Talk.retrieveSpeech(Talk.java:2978)
at net.brain.functions.Talk.createFlirtyResponse(Talk.java:3132)

Me: null

*Girl walks away*

Lol 😂 😅😅 source : Facebook

Refactoring, ain't nobody got time for that 😁

"Not everyone notices the flowers you plant, but everyone will notice the fire you start." - Unknown

“I’m not paid enough for this shit”
Me after any minor inconvenience at work.

4+ years of programming.

Still have no clue how to make my own regex pattern.

Every single time I need to, I always open 4 cheat sheets and/or stackoverflow.

Poor SQL ;_;

Really!

I've finally achieved "Inbox NaN" .. Thank you Google!!

What do you think ?

I have made 2 mistakes today.
1. Upgrading from Fedora 23 to 24 on a busy work day - it's taken over 2h now...
2. Trying to switch to a new TTY and launch GDM while it's updating - I now cannot see anything and live in fear of restarting.

Conclusion don't try and be clever with Linux, it will win