Question: Why did the DataBase Administrator divorce his wife?
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Answer: She had "one-too-many" relations

.........

This hurts 🥺

Unpopular opinion: superhero movies fucking suck.

Me: Did Sherry let you know that I'm leaving today?

Coworker: what!? No!

Me: yeah... I'm leaving.

Coworker: huh, I'm not surprised...

Me: what is that supposed to mean!?

Co: shit man, this job sucks, I'm not surprised. I'll be leaving right behind you.

Me: oh.... Um... April Fools... 😬

Co: God damnit.

Me: don't worry, I won't tell the boss how you really feel.

Petition for the pixelated avatars joke to be a permanent feature.

Vote for yes
Down vote for no

:)

I'm just leaving this here...

Is it ok to rant about devRant app?

So it’s not been announced yet so I can’t tell anyone else other than my wife but I need to say it somewhere and this is anonymous....

I’VE JUST BEEN PROMOTED!! Technical Lead!!! And a 14% raise!!

Yay!!!

Had a heated argument on whether HTML’s a fuckin programming language or not and he claims to have 8 years experience...

Fuck bro, that dense? Everyone knows its a fuckin markup language

I've never found a perfect video until now.

Since one of my colleagues had a difficult time saying/spelling the word SpamAssassin, it's now officially (in our office):

Spam Ass Ass In

😏

Just saw this one

Gamers Christmas celebration

The 256th day of every year is celebrated as Programmers’ Day.
Interestingly, 256 is the highest power of two that is less than 365.
It falls on September 13 during common years and September 12 in leap years.
This day is an international professional day recognized in many companies and organizations.
It’s even officially recognized in Russia as the “Day of the Programmer.”

take a shower. honestly most of my code problems have been solved while showering.

I did a stupid...

Best non-technical description of why we hate to post in forums (shamelessly copied from Shamus Youngs blog found here: http://shamusyoung.com/twentysidedt...) ->

ALLEN: Hi, I’m new to driving and I need to move my car back around 5 meters. How can I move the car backwards?

(2 days later.)

ALLEN: Hello? This is still a problem. I’m sure someone knows how to do this.

BOB: I can’t believe you didn’t figure this out yourself. Just take your foot off the gas and let the car roll backwards down the hill. Tap the bake when you get to where you want to be. Boom. Done.

ALLEN: But I’m not on a hill. I’m in my driveway and it’s completely flat.

CARL: Dude, I don’t know what you’re trying to accomplish, but you should never be driving backwards. It’s dangerous and will confuse the other drivers. See the big window in FRONT of you? That’s your first clue. Don’t drive backwards.

ALLEN: I’m not trying to drive backwards. I just need to move back a little bit so I can get out of my driveway and start driving forwards.

CARL: So just drive in circle until you’re pointed the right way.

ALLEN: I don’t have enough room to turn around like that. I only need to move back a few meters. I don’t understand why this has to be so hard.

CARL: Sounds like your “driveway” isn’t compatible with cars. It’s probably made for bikes. Call a contractor and have them convert some of your yard into driveway to be standards-compliant with the turning radius of a car. Either way, you’re doing something wrong.

DAVE: I see your problem. You can adjust your car to move backwards by using the shifter. It’s a stick located right between the passenger and driver seats. Apply the clutch and move the stick to the “R” position.

ALLEN: But.. I don’t have a clutch. And there isn’t a stick between the seats.

CARL: Sounds like you’re trying to drive in Europe or something.

ALLEN: Ah. Nevermind. I figured it out.