Best possible week 13 rant... 😑

Whenever you're feeling like a fraud and you think you're not good enough.

I hope they know what they're doing!

WRITE IN C ('LET IT BE')
When I find my code in tons of trouble,
Friends and colleagues come to me,
Speaking words of wisdom:
"Write in C."
As the deadline fast approaches,
And bugs are all that I can see,
Somewhere, someone whispers:
"Write in C."
Write in C, Write in C,
Write in C, oh, Write in C.
LOGO's dead and buried,
Write in C.
I used to write a lot of FORTRAN,
For science it worked flawlessly.
Try using it for graphics!
Write in C.
If you've just spent nearly 30 hours,
Debugging some assembly,
Soon you will be glad to
Write in C.
Write in C, Write in C,
Write in C, yeah, Write in C.
BASIC's not the answer.
Write in C.
Write in C, Write in C
Write in C, oh, Write in C.
Pascal won't quite cut it.
Write in C.

Error: Missing argument exception.

Is his name Robert Paulson? Yes...yes it is

Websites that brag about how much coffee they drunk and share zany facts about their employees. "Sarah is a scorpio and enjoys the smell of wet grass."

Am I the only one who doesn't give a flying fuck?

Have you ever wondered we programmers have so many strong communities.... Stackoverflow, devRant, Reditt, etc...
No other profession has such communities... Why? Why?
Because, we haven't built one for them.... 😂😁

Create branches with name of girls and later check them out.

When a newb asks you 'what's the difference between git and github?' rhetorically ask them 'What's the difference between porn and pornhub?'

when your janitor knows his audience

And that was enough encouragement

"so you use Ubuntu" she said ,
"why don't you go for Linux ?" she asked.

so I dumped my girlfriend

Why did the computer crash?

Because it had a bad driver.

Months after joining devRant, and seeing all the people with 5000 +1s while I'm still stuck at 400, I think of them as people with gold badges on stackoverflow as I bury deep down into the abyss of my social failure again.

How I feel when editing an Android Manifest file

My boss just told me that my next task will be to create a website like amazon... It took me quite a long time to explain why something like that needs a big team and a good amount of money.

An API Wrapper: (src: @jcsrb)

Agree to terms

I am not anti-social, I'm just not client-friendly.

Worst mistake I've made?

Trying to learn perl.

Worst coding mistake would be me dropping an entire table of customer names because I forgot to double check the table name in the script. I felt my soul leave my body.

Select *

Wikipedia: I know everything!

Google: I have everything!

Facebook: I know everybody!

Internet: Without me you are nothing!

Electricity: Keep talking bitches!

An old one, but still pretty funny 😂

If Java had true Garbage Collection, it would delete itself.

When you open Microsoft edge for the first time just to download chrome...

Learning Java from Head First Java

My business-partner thinks we can pull personal informations from cookies, like age, gender, city and interests......

"Can we get peoples age and gender from cookies? How much data can we get from their cookies? Like if they've looked at a white bag recently?"

WTF..

I was working on a nodejs project and this fella came to me.
He: Hey, I want to learn JS, how much time is it gonna take me get onto it?
Me: You know Java?
He: Yh :) I know java pretty good!
Me: Well, its gonna take forever thn..

Colleague: I really wish array index in all languages would start from 1. If I ever write a language the index will start from 1.

Me: