My heart weeps every time I hit cancel..

PM: Please do this immediately.
Me: But the other deadline, I...
PM: I don't care, do this first!
Me: Alright, fine.

(at the end of the day)
PM: Why is the thing you were doing not finished yet!?

I put an Easter egg into a product, that if you enter the string "final countdown" into the stock code search field, it plays a YouTube vid of Europe's "The Final Countdown", in a hidden div. It's an in-joke for a few people in the company.

A well meaning maintainer with no sense of humour or judgement takes over and goes on the warpath against any hardcoded strings. The secret code gets moved into a config file.

A third developer changes the deployment script so that it clears any configs that aren't explicitly set in the deployment settings.

So the secret code is now "".

Literally every PC in the stock buying department is now blaring out "The Final Countdown" at top volume.

...Except none of them have speakers, so it remains this way for over a year and two more changes of maintainer.

I just noticed this afternoon and quietly re-hardcoded the string. The buying dept.'s PCs will silently sing no more.

Me: I need a Windows PC to test my code on.
Server dude: We don't have any free, but I can setup an old server for you.
Me: 🤔 .. I'll take it!

Job offers be like:
We need a VIRGIN with atleast 2 years EXPERIENCE of SEX...

When I am trying to figure out what's going on in the code

How to break a chatbot (well done).

!rant
This is one of the best explanation I have ever seen for the difference between SIGTERM and SIGKILL.
Picture credit : www.itsfoss.com

Dear college,
You could have just spared yourself by just using Linux.

😜😜😜.

People need to learn the value of "lsof | grep delete"

look microsoft edge, you're just not my type but I'm sure you'll find someone out there..

Had a classmate who loved the innuendo "flick the bean" so whenever he created a Bean class, me made sure to name one of the methods "flick" so he could call bean.flick()

Too damn hilarious

It's amazing what two cans of redbull and monster, a well organized to-do list on Wunderlist, 36 hours of nonstop programming and a deadline that's dangerously approaching can do in a sane man.
Now excuse me world but I'll have the longest nap in years starting fro

Not a rant!

Reaction when a person responds your joke with " I will go home, figure it out, laugh and will text you!!!!"

#priceless :/