Boss: “Do you think you can work on Saturday? We really need the help.”

Me: “Yes, of course.”

Boss: “Great, thank you.”

Me: “I’ll probably be late, though, as public transport is slow on the weekends.”

Boss: “Okay, when do you think you will be at the office?”

Me: “Monday”.

Here we go

I'm at Disney world and the Windows OS was exposed on one of the machines at a ride so pulled up CMD and ran "tree C:/" then played sample music on full blast. Get on my level hackers :^)

just found this on reddit... this is freaking hilarious 😂😂

Git: A version control system expressly designed to make you feel less intelligent than you are thought you were.

This guy has a weird sense of system security if he thinks an SSH MOTD will keep unauthorised people away. Because you know, setting SSH permissions would be too sensible.

Large corporation. CEO tells everyone to attend this mandatory meeting via the internet.
I work remotely. I can't log in, meeting is full. But our colleagues have made a parallel meeting just for us in the meantime, where I could hear them make fun of the meeting, which is basically the CEO showing some Powerpoint slides to a room with 10 people. Nobody can either see the slides (bad camera or connection) or hear the CEO (crap microphone). 1000+ people watching this "mandatory" meeting that lasted for an hour. Nobody had any idea what it was about in the end. Just slides and muffled voices.

Meanwhile, in real life...

Evil developers on Stackoverflow

I hate programming.
I hate programming.
I hate programming.
IT WORKS!
I love programming.

When you had been reloading the page like crazy and none of the changes are registering. Then you realize that you are reloading production server instead of development one. 😖

"Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee."

Rest in Peace, Muhammad Ali.

Spend half an hour finding music to listen to while I code; Pause it after 30 seconds to concentrate on refactoring. Stays paused for rest of day.

Really getting the most out of those expensive new headphones.

I found a solid solution for clickbaiting!

You just have to:
... [read more]

Know your Java from your CSS....

Spending whole day debugging one error. Fixed it in 10 minutes on the next day. Anyone else ?

I love how clients do the real testing after a site is live.

Someone asked me how I learned to program. And I realized it was a series of telling a client "No that's not possible" then finding out it is, on Stackoverflow... And learning how to do it

That one person...

Explaining devRant post to my girlfriend is like debugging NodeJS.

The moment when your boss share your FB post that posted 5 minutes ago with caption "do your job"

That disappointing moment when your phone vibrates in your pocket and you hope someone has +1'd your rant but then find out it's just a Tinder match

"Make sure existing hacks keep working"

Best. Acceptance Criteria. Ever.

Don't worry, we can refactor it later.

When you work your ass off to meet the deadline and once you miraculously make it, the client decides to wait with the launch for a few more weeks.

Use Vim. What could happen?...

CS professor: the less code you have the better programmer you are.

I beg to differ. Security isn't always short.

Sometimes I think "I should write a meaningful error message for this exception" and then i remember how useless 99% of the error messages of every compiler / interpreter I've ever had to use and decide "msg ='something went wrong'" is good enough.

rm - rf /

Being a Web Developer is very serious. It's a matter of live and dev.