AboutI develop stuff.. mostly software
SkillsJS, CSS, HTML, C#
Joined devRant on 10/19/2017
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When you say "almost 2" instead of 1.7 because you're not sure your customers understand the decimal system.7
I came home today to find my wife wearing my hacktoberfest shirt... She said it was soft and looked girly so she was stealing it. At least I still have the stickers.8
Thunderbird UI sucks, search sucks, sending sucks, all sucks. Why cannot we have beautiful and user friendly linux mail app?23
Reading devRant feed is so fucking hard nowadays. Every other rant is about Windows rebooting, Google being evil, Quantum beating Chrome, M$ users being cunts and all these fanboy shits.
Fucking hell. Write some actual code and rant about some solid problems rather than being a stupid fanboy.12
Our professor in our college deliberately makes a mistake in the program and ask people how it happened.
If someone solves it he complements them and it really makes them feel motivated.
I think he is the best professor 😊😊4
Firefox Quantum you say? Great - another f*ing Browser to test webpages on. As if there weren't enough already.
BTW: my first rant - hello world34
Linux users are like vegans, they will tell you without being asked and only other Linux users care.8
Professor : Explain deadlock and I will give you full marks.
Me:- You give me full marks and I'll explain deadlock.20
Why do people always think the following:
When something goes wrong on windows its the fault of windows.
When something goes wrong on linux its probably a misconfiguration.
Most of the time things that go wrong on windows are misconfigurations or faulty software.10
How you can make the perfect clickbait that will even bring highly intellectual software engineers to click on your things?
It is very easy you only have t... [read more]9
You know the Microsoft guy who installed Chrome because Edge crashed.
Don't judge him that much!
The guys at Google use Microsoft's VSCode for their Firebase. Also they use Typescript.
Our company (if any) shouldn't determine the tools we use. I haven't used Edge, but they recently added full Css Grid support. I'm gonna give it a try for a week or two...14
So I'm reading up on the HomeAssistant documentation to prepare for submitting to their repo. I was really excited to find such a nice repo to contribute to, but i suddenly had to reconsider when i found this:10
( rant || !rant ) && idiots
console.info( this.isLongRant );
console.warn( "contains strong language and wordpress" );
A friend of mine sent two of his "friends" to me because they wanted me to build a website for their new business (~idea).
So I had a meeting with them.
First of all they wanted me to have a look on the current (work in progress) site.
First impression of the frontend:
Well, imagine this:
- a 90s/2k background (dotted/pixelated cloud in baby-blueish as backgroud with repeat)
- the logo was made by the sister of one of the guys, it wasn't too bad, but badly aligned, asymmetrical
- some obvious $offTheShelfShopPlugin with $randomStockContent
- the fucking slider had a small loading bar to indicate changes, it appears like an hyperanxious child on ADHS
- below the logo TWO FUCKING GIF SPINNERS to indicate nothing else but how fucking brain amputated these two dudes are, including the dev who is responsible for adding this. (to this point, they only told me, that a webagency did the setup and some basic work on the site, more on that later)
- no styling concept at all, random fonts and stuff everywhere including default styles of the shop plugin.
- FUUUUUCK WTF wil come furtherin this meeting?
After seeing a pile of binary puke fisted out of a 60yo nonstop-intern who changed his jobtitle from dildo-traveling-salesman to fullstack-frontend-dev by wrinting it on a post-it-note, I imagined, there has to be something wrong with the backend as well.
Boy was I right!
Yes, you guessed it! A random Wordpress adminpanel login appeared! OH NO....
I really wanted to levae this meeting immediately.
I was not able to hold my disgust back and I told them right in their face, what a shit pile of nutty squirrel turds this current page is. And that Wordpress is not the right choice at all for a shop.
Then came the best part: They basically told me, that they terminated the previous contract with the webagency because they were too expensive (they are cheap, compared to others, I know people who know their prices) and that they wanted to create A BIG MARKETPKACE with multiple ressellers who can have their shop in their website. Something similar to FUCKING AMAZON. ON FUCKING WORDPRESS!?!?!?
They even asked me if I wanted to be their partner & developer and that they can't pay much at the moment until the marketplace starts to grow.
I more or less told them to go fuck themselves with a rusty pitchfork.2
Fuck my life...
Okay, so I’m working on a web app with a small group... the app is basically a lead generator for new business in another country. We just need contact details cause they’re a fucker to buy.
Step 1: prototype to the investors, working with the ceo to make this thing look shiny AF.
Goes well as fuck.
CEO: “when can we get this out?”
Me: “it’s basically done mate, get your guys to look at it and we can talk about marketing”
Que a shower of 10 or so bellends with senior in their title going into a room and coming out with:
Bellends: “so on this page we want the user to confirm and accept the contract”
Me: “cool, makes some sense, that’s what it’s already doing.”
Bellends: “afterwards we want to show them the price and have them put in their banking details.”
Me: “Wait, you what when?”
Bellends: “Yeah, well Jenny says we should have as few clicks as possible to get to the final stage and have the customer accept.”
Me: “Jenny’s on fucking crack, moving the contract formation phase to after the contract acceptance stage is not an option”
Bellends: “Oh it’s okay, Andy in legal said that would be okay”
Me: “Andy’s a fucking moron, tell him that online contract formation laws were updated 2014/2015 and you can’t do that anymore”
Bellends: “No, andy’s legal, surely he knows”
Bellends: “We want all of this above the fold”
Me: “OH FUCKING SUCK A DICK YOU ABSOLUTE BAND OF FUCKWADS... which one of you, which one hasn’t looked at a website this millennia!?”
Needless to say I ignored all their shit, got the lead generator out and told the CEO those ten people are certifiably fucking useless.
Bonus round; recent, but “it has to be on internal infrastructure”
“Why? It’s a mobile app sending rest calls to a third party saas.”
“It just has to, we have this thing called the private cloud and w”
“Wait... you what son, priv 🤦🏼♂️ private what mate?”
“You... you mean a server rack?”
“Nah we spent £2mn on it, it’s brilliant”
“Hahahaha you fucking dick, you blew £2mn on server infra with fuckall to put on it!?”
“No, no it’s the private cloud”
“Fucking idiot, aye son, where’s the fucking bean stalk you prick!?”
“It has to go on internal infr”
“Shut up, that won’t work”9
Boss: “Our YouTube channel doesn’t look at all like our website.”
Me: “I’ve made it look as close to our branding as YouTube allows for with its limited editing controls.”
Boss: “This is unacceptable. I expected more from you.”
Me: “I cannot accept the blame for this. YouTube is setting the design parameters for all channels and I can only do so much.”
Boss: “You can call the YouTube, can’t you? Why didn’t you call them?”
Me: “.......and ask them....what?”
Boss: “You don’t ask! You tell! Our company has been around for 140 years. Our brand name carries that weight. They’ll change their design to what we need if you’re assertive enough.”
Me: “Ma’am, that’s just not how this works. That’s not how any of this works.”49
"Can you put my site as the first result on google?"
I can add SEO to your site, just give me your preferred keywords, a description, and let's make sure we follow white hat best practices etc.
"No call someone at google and ask how much to go to the top of the list"
So you want to pay for ads or..?
"No get a figure I can pay to get to first page"
"Or can you just edit the google"
... And so I never renewed that contract ever again, the end.12
Oh boy, my fellow devRanters, I just signed an 4 digit monthly salary (that's a lot in Lithuania) job contract, I'm a future Unix infrastructure engineer :o
As per original concept of ranting, it's been almost two months since I wrote for the stickers and didn't get a reply >:(11