As soon as the shouting stops, I will begin the process of clearing my head. About 20 minutes after the shouting stops, I will be able to do some work.

Unfortunately, about 10 minutes after the shouting stops, it starts again.

And then it will be lunchtime.

And then there will be more shouting.

And then it will be the end of the day.

User: - I'm seeing a redcircle with a white dash.
Me: - What is a "redcircle with a white dash".
User: - It's like a stop sign.

I hope I won't meet this user on a one-way street.

Have you ever been pair coding with someone who uses shotgun debugging? I am about to claw my eyes out! What is shotgun debugging you ask?
Code doesn't work... What do we do?
I start thinking about possible flow, how to go back to what works, where to insert debugging statements. My partner interrupts my thought and says - what if we change this variable name?
...uh what?
What if that fixes it
It won't!
Well how do you know if you don't try?
I change the variable name - of course nothing works and now I forgot the possible solution I was thinking about...
Starting over... I again start coming close to the idea... Interrupts me again. What if we comment out this random line?
Why what's your reasoning?
Answer: *Shrug* idk might work...
...rinse and repeat
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???!
I literally started muting my computer sound so I can not hear him while I think and that helps tremendously. This is programming not magic, people!!! Stop throwing random "what if" suggestions!

A young guy I work with burst into tears today, I had no idea what happened so I tried to comfort him and ask what was up.

It appears his main client had gone nuts with him because they wanted him to make an internet toolbar (think Ask.com) and he politely informed them toolbars doesn't really exist anymore and it wouldn't work on things like modern browsers or mobile devices.

Being given a polite but honest opinion was obviously something the client wasn't used to and knowing the guy was a young and fairly inexperienced, they started throwing very personal insults and asking him exactly what he knows about things (a lot more than them).

So being the big, bold, handsome senior developer I am, I immediately phoned the client back and told them to either come speak to me face-to-face and apologise to him in person or we'd terminate there contract with immediate effect. They're coming down tomorrow...

So part my rant, part a rant on behalf of a young developer who did nothing wrong and was treated like shit, I think we've all been there.

We'll see how this goes! Who the hell wants a toolbar anyway?!

0 public contributions because everything is closed source at Apple.

The moment when u find such nice "networklatency-functions" 😂

What does a CS grad do after a line of cocaine?
\n

Don't be lazy and work in your code as someone else has to maintain it.

LOL 😂😂😂

RIP both my social life and my phones battery life 😂

Well guys it was nice being dev while it lasted. Reevaluated my life and decided to travel the vast world and become a Pokemon master.

can't stop laughing

should work

The feeling I get after finishing projects

I just asked my girlfriend if we can have a baby so I can get a devRant stressball.

your reaction.😈😈😈

When you're a Linux guy and automatically start to type bash commands into a friends Windows' cmd...

we all do!

Really...

✅ Update Failed!

In case anyone was wondering if Apple ever actually tests updates during review, they do. Sometimes, apparently, they also use devRant with the provided test account. Hopefully their rant/comment quality improves, but they are trying!!

Recipe for Ice Coffee:
1: Make Coffee
2: Start coding
3: Forget you made Coffee
4: Drink it cold

Remember people:

If you never make mistakes, nobody will know what you do in a company.

This is brilliant 😂😂

Why did the developer quit his job?

Because he didn't get arrays

Internet Explorer is a bully

On Wednesdays we kode. 💾

I love how clients do the real testing after a site is live.

Dear PMs,
Just a friendly reminder you'd have nothing to manage without us, which means you wouldn't even have a job.
Love,
Devs

PS you aren't our bosses either

My life's become:
Eat, sleep, <code>, devRant, repeat.