Our ex-employee wrote an amazing SQL SELECT-query consisting of 6449 characters. It has 11 JOINS and takes a solid minute to execute.

The table it fetches from has 16 records and the SQL query returns 46857 records and it was production code lmao

Me, reading random wikipedia:

A boutonnière (French: [bu.tɔ.njɛʁ]) or butthole (British English) is a floral decoration, typically a single flower or bud, worn on the lapel of a tuxedo or suit jacket.

Wait, that can't be right

butthole.
buttonhole.

OOOOOH

switching to tor browser

her penis
his vagina

A cautionary tale, dear devRanters:

"My husband was laid off by Microsoft after 25 years — by algorithm. His last day is his birthday."

https://reddit.com/r/microsoft/...

Enjoy life outside of work

My team mate is so fucking bad that I use his mistakes as interview questions for internship positions. So I really make sure I don't have a second Ouistiti in my team.

Why do people who put camera's on always insist others must do so as well? I don't mind when it's a special meeting like a retro or some form of team building thing, but I cannot be assed during standup - that MFer is meant to be over after 10 minutes. You guys go on an hour-long tangent, while I'm busy writing code, chatting to people and getting shit done, do you really need to see me not paying attention to the issues with the PHP project that are there because client X did something stupid. I'm already rolling my eyes while listening right now. Also, I don't want to put a "good" shirt on for 20 minutes to an hour meeting.

Tomorrow is monday, and it looks like ~4h of meetings everyday...

People really drive 90mph to get to work.

Sid's favorite Fallout New Vegas feature is piss filter

At $work, I just learned that a daemon on prod makes an SFTP connection to the same domain every 0.5 to 10 seconds, all day long, every single day. That’s a minimum of 8,640 connections per day!

The senior developer responsible for it had the dev skills of a junior and the management skills of a puppet, but she’s a “disadvantaged minority” and is great at stealing credit and throwing people under the bus. Naturally, she has been given multiple promotions and a team to lead… which she fills exclusively with other Indians, all of them at her skill level or below. (I used to do their code reviews and security reviews.)

When I asked one of the fintech managers (a former dev) about the crazy number of SFTP connections, he said “[Her team] did that intentionally, as it didn’t used to be that way. They must have had a reason” and cut me off.

Okay then.
Not my garden, not my fertilizer.
Just another day weeding the fields in hell.

👨🏽‍💻 Switching between multiple Git accounts: work, personal, freelance?

Ever pushed a commit with Company A's email to Company B's repo? 😩🥶
Been there. Done that. Regretted it immediately.

I just dropped a step-by-step guide on how to set up Git so it automatically picks the right name, email, and SSH key based on your project folder.

No more manual config switching. 💡
✅ No more identity mix-ups
✅ No more commit shame
✅ Just clean, context-aware Git workflows 🙌

🔧 What’s inside:
- Multiple SSH key setup
- Smart .gitconfig using includeIf
- Folder structure that keeps you sane
- Bonus tips for HTTPS + personal token users
If you’ve ever yelled at Git (or yourself), this one’s for you.

👏 Drop a clap if it helps and follow for more dev-friendly tips!

👇 Read it here:
https://rhymezxcode.medium.com/how-...

My work fired their marketing department half a year ago and the new marketing guy still has yet to start.

But we released one week ago their first AI-generated ad, there are multiple things wrong:
- The logo of our company is wrong
- Our company colours are wrong
- Mixing of English and our (different) language
- Has "screenshots" of our application but our application does not look like that
- AI generated faces that look like PS1 graphics
- Multiple typos
- The font for our company name is wrong

And yet, they decided to publish it. That is maybe 1 hour of time to fix all mistakes if you are experienced in Photoshop but they can't be bothered lol.

A kid just called me uncle, and my whole life flashed before my eyes

I like nlp

It gives me the ability to ask a question I don't know the terminology for

Rhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Having an Active Noise-Cancelling headset is a gift to a Software Developer. Concentrated engineering in any noisy environment.

The dawn of a new generation in luxury personal equipment.

The ANC headset is a premium lightweight, high-performance headset that meets the demands of the new generation of upper-income urban software developers.

The ANC has the conveniences of earplugs, a wireless communications device, and a device without wires.

Muting power is a matter of convenience with the ANC headset.

Dear diary,

Today with my dad at AI expo, and it was the best person to go with. He has learnt reinforcement learning and ocr. Never enjoyed a museum together that much. There were also steam engines and minecraft carts and elevator.

Did you know that the car years ago was considered dangerous bevause you didn't have a horse to protect you from mistakes? In horses we trust, nit in Tesla.

It was a great day.

You know.. it's funny and sad at the same time.. that in this industry you have to either play the office politics game.. or at a minimum not play by the rules and deviate to your own advantage.. because if you play by the rules, 1) That limits your progress tremendously and 2) lets you be controlled by others, including your career

Fuck modern Microsoft.

Petition to add a “🤡” reaction to LinkedIn.

My company pays well. I'm remote. But sometimes I'm miserable. I expect too much from work and I need to learn not to.

They talk about how they want employees to be engaged, and they want developers to understand and solve business problems. They just don't mean any of it, and they don't know they don't mean it.

Anything you say about what we're building, why, or the process is wrong. Don't say it like this. Don't say it like that. Don't say it in the retro. Eventually I realized they're gaslighting me and probably don't even realize it.

There is no right way to say anything. There's no right time. The only way they're really happy is if you shut up and work your tickets.

I need to make my peace with that and collect my paycheck.

They're just so stupid. They don't see the disconnect between what they want and what they say they want. They can't be helped.

Thanks for listening.

I'm starting to understand this guy.

insert into devlife values('bullshitpeople', 'bullshitmanagement', 'bullshit', 'bullshit_fake_productivity', 'bullshit_mantras', 'bullshit_corporate_culture', 'impossible_requirements', 'impossible_deadlines', 'sabotage', 'etc');

Once upon a Time

Derp
Here goes 64 gigabytes of original work

You ever instinctively hit Ctrl+D during a teams chat with someone?

Sometimes we are ping pong balls being smashed from one side to the other. This is me, I'm currently studying a technology. Oops! Change of assignments! Plz study new tech! Ok thanks for the constant context-switching.

do devs still check their up time..? I just consider being up for hours through the night a normal thing

Mmmmm drunk food 🐓🦃🧀🥯🍳

Windows imgae viewer is a fucking spamming bloatware.