Guys look at how tiny it is

"Ughh, you're such a lazy person. Why don't you finish it instead of making me do everything afger I asked YOU to do it"

I am so fucking done playing family technicman for you. I copied all of your data from your old phone to yojr new one. I set up everything except personal accounts because I respect privacy. You only need to insert your damm sim card.

And don't you even try giving me that "I tried but could not do it, it's just to complicated"

I could buy the same phone, throw it at you and pay the lawyer if I would get one cent for each time you said that.

Things that should be free in the office :
- Water
- Kleenex
- Coffee

[when starting out with web dev] Just use bootstrap!

Please don't. I teach web dev now, and when people learn a framework initially, they often get a warped and incomplete understanding of how things work. They spend their time learning the framework instead of learning the systems they're actually working with, and then when the want to do something the framework can't do, they're just at a loss.

Don't get me wrong, bootstrap and jquery and so on have their places, but those places aren't when you're just starting out.

Jeez, it can be done! Thank you CSS, i really thought it wasn't possible. My bacon is saved. (Overriding an inline style, javascript generated, from a linked style sheet).

"Using HTTPS is only useful if your page has a login. Just use HTTP."

I fucking hate the web guy.
He says - make a pop-up of the raw text you're receiving (in the app) so that I can test it easily while I fix it.
I did it.
Now he laughs and says - I think you searched for it and simply copied from wrong example. All you had to do was handle the text and parse it and display it blablabla instead of simply popping up the raw text.
Thank you I flipping KNOW all of that, you stuck up obnoxious frog. I did it that way initially and uploaded it coz you SAID so! Why do you ALWAYS have to talk like I know nothing!?

Why do people post popular memes here on devrant. :/ don't turn this into Facebook

Is it just me ...or are other developers bad at relationships too?

I am currently at vacation and staying at a campsite.
There is a WLAN called 'Seecamping1'.
Well I had to try cracking their password...
First attempt: The name of the WLAN, didn't work.
Second attempt: 1234567890

...

Guess what.
It worked lol

What the shit!!!

At 11:00
While studying
"ah... I'm sleepy, can't tolerate any more", and just go to bed.

At 11:05
While scrolling rants
"hahaha... So true, same happened with me.. bla bla...."

At 12:47
Doing same thing from last 1 hour 40 mins
Even not sleepy yet!!!

It's too addictive. Having so much good posts, much better than fb feeds.... Loving the rants... New experience

When you suggest to use git but the answer you get is:
"Just write in a text document what you have changed ".

Oh dear God..

Fuck you stupid cunt!!!! If your fucking project depends on empty folder structure just put a fucking gitignore file on it so I don't have to waste all fucking day debugging your tasteless spaghetti to figure out that you download files to an empty folder that git clone doesn't create.

WordPress related, get ready for some disgust.

So today early in the morning my boss forwarded me an email from a client, it was about a bug, and asked me if I can have a look at it and fix it.
"Yaay, WordPress!" I thought and opened the page containing the mentioned bug. She wrote that in the italian version of the page, users can select dates in the calendar, which should be disabled, like in the german version.

So yeah, I opened the code. Everything in the function looked perfect. Really. And the Data was also correctly set in the backend of WP.

The function was only 3 lines of code:

- Get the german post ID of the current post (german or italian) by its ID (using a Polylang function)

- Get an Advanced Custom Fields field by name and from a post with the ID from before

- json_encode its content and echo it to a JS var for initialization and later use in some AngularJS.

No fucking missing semicolon, it was fucking perfect like a sunset with your soulmate.

So I tried to find the bug with my personal way of debugging:

"Shitstream Debugging"
When a creek suddenly is full of water mixed with shit, walk upstream through the turds until you reach clear water. This is where the bug is.

=> So I first looked at the HTML source: Turds.
=> Then the ACF field content: Still turds.
=> Then the ID of the german post: Shit stain and turds (var_dump: null)
=> Please god at least $post->ID? Nope, fart smell and turds.
=> Nothing more to check: Clear fucking water and the flowery smell of 99 devVirgins

So it replaced $post->IT with get_the_ID() and it worked like a charm.

Afterwards I feel stupid, but $post->IT worked all the times before...

Conclusion:
FUCK YOU WORDPRESS YOU UGLY PIECE OF HUMAN-CENTIPEDE-PROCESSED-DOGFART.

Thanks for your patience.
Only one beer was sucked dry during the writing of this fucking rant.

“I’m a CSS programmer, you should try it too”
Heard this in a forum back ‘12 or ‘13.

Let none say it wasn't a productive day.

"Can you work on this ticket? It's kind of urgent."

-- "OK"

"And could you please not refactor? Just get this done."

-- "Why? What's the issue?"

"The logic is complex. We should not break it."

-- "Erm, that's what the tests are for. So yes, if the need arises, I'll refactor. The tests are my guidelines if the logic breaks or not."

There's a reason we create tests. So let's not hinder code base improvements by some random fear that stuff might break.

If breaks due to refactoring, we'll fix it by adding a valid test case during and then fixing the bug.

If my refactoring does not break the tests, I'll assume the code base is stable.

If your code is untested, then we have a complete different problem.

"We expect you to be at your desk from at least 10-5 every day. You may work from home 1 day per month with a few days advance notice."

70 minute commute into SF each way, every day, so I can sit at an uncomfortable desk and not interact with anyone except on hipchat.

I accidentally turned on developer mode on my laptop. What do I do with it? What's it for. If it's on, I might as well use it.

Suggestions? it's win10 pro. (still playing around with Linux on VM, so suggestions of switching will be promptly ignored)

This is how heaven looks?

Why is it so hard to just build machines that work without all this ideological bullshit? Code doesn't care if politics==true. The world is scary enough without you assholes making modern life a data minefield for even the most educated experts, and taking advantage of the ignorance of everyone else. Fuck you.
I just wanna <look at web pages> without having to consider, counteract, or silently assist some fucking regime. Why is EVERYTHING this way? Everything is a back door or a data mine or a political statement? This isn't a fucking art piece! It's not your espionage tool, fucking codes in invisible ink and tiny cameras and shit everywhere! It's a <web browser>, and if it does ANYTHING besides <browse the web> that I didn't explicitly tell it to do, you better better not be the one who made it. Because if you did, you are what's wrong with the world.

Just been handed a specification with the word 'relevant' in it 13 times without relevant ever being defined.

Specific is literally in the word specification

Today our Jenkins admin told me that I broke the build by merging a branch with too many commits.

I think I'm finally getting async/await