🤣 🤣 True story 🤣 🤣

Everyone I know chilling and shit.

As a developer and having the ability to work from home I am being pushed more than usual and I think it is because of no commute time I am working more now a days.

OK. This might sound incredibly stupid. But still...
I decided to help a friend of mine with asp.net assignment. I just know c# and he didn't attend classes. So he came to me with some pizza and beer. So we managed to finish the assignment. In the end we had to add audio to web page and I didn't know how to do it(I've never used Javascript until that moment) . So naturally I googled and tried literally 10 different methods to play audio and none of them worked. I lost my mind and hit the table a bunch of times. After 2 hours I realized that I was wearing my second headphone that is not connected to my laptop and audio is playing on my primary headphone as expected)

Life Modifiers!

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

Working with google shit is a fucking nightmare.
WHY DO THEY HAVE TO REINVENT EVERYTHING ALL OVER AGAIN?
Javascript already have a very standardised way of handling env variables. It's called dotenv. It's simple. It's efficient. But of course google can't have it and must use their own version WITH ENV VARIABLES BEING SETTABLE ONLY THROUGH CLI. Because who would ever want some kind of end user friendliness. That's for the weak, like users of netlify.
Fuck you, google. I wish you could rot in hell.

Dear Client,
Procrastination on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.
Thank you.

A guy on another team who is regarded by non-programmers as a genius wrote a python script that goes out to thousands of our appliances, collects information, compiles it, and presents it in a kinda sorta readable, but completely non-transferable format. It takes about 25 minutes to run, and he runs it himself every morning. He comes in early to run it before his team's standup.

I wanted to use that data for apps I wrote, but his impossible format made that impractical, so I took apart his code, rewrote it in perl, replaced all the outrageous hard-coded root passwords with public keys, and added concurrency features. My script dumps the data into a memory-resident backend, and my filterable, sortable, taggable web "frontend"(very generous nomenclature) presents the data in html, csv, and json. Compared to the genius's 25 minute script that he runs himself in the morning, mine runs in about 45 seconds, and runs automatically in cron every two hours.

Optimized!

Soooo true

A man is smoking a cigarette and blowing smoke rings into the air. The man, sitting next to him becomes irritated with the smoke and says, “Can’t you see the warning on the cigarette pack?  Smoking is hazardous to your health!”

To which the man replies, “I am a programmer.  We don’t worry about warnings; we only worry about errors.”