When i was fired in a few minutes in my first meeting with the boss since i was working there.
but now im glad im out of there. The kpis they use to see how someone performs are utterly useless.

Apparently ex twitter employees have created an mastodon instance for themselfs and their family.

Having the people who hated me die by an aneurysma because they were too upset because of their envy

zero trust blockchain authentication

Somebody: (whinwy) we need something to log into nonprivileged technical accounts without our rootssh proxy. We want this pammodule pam_X.so
me: this stuff is old (-2013) and i can't find any source for it. How about using SSSD with libsss_sudo? Its an modern solution which would allow this with an advantage of using the existing infrastructure.
somebody: NO I WANT THIS MODULE.
me: ok i have it packaged under this name. Could you please test it by manipulating the pam config?
Somebody: WHAT WHY DO I NEED TO MANIPULATE THE PAMCONFIG?
me: because another package on our servers already manipulates the config and i don't want to create trouble by manipulate it.
Somebody: why are we discussing this. I said clearly what we need and we need it NOW.

we have an package that changes the pam config to our needs, we are starting to roll out the config via ansible, but we still use configuration packages on many servers
For authentication as root we use cyberark for logging the ssh sessions.
The older solution allowed additionally the login into non-rootaccounts, but it is shut down in the next few weeks after over half an year of both systems active and over half an year with the information that the login into non-privileged accounts will be no more.

We didn't got your email.
Problem: i had an read reciept.

I had this guy. He had an annoying voice and the worst trait of him was he was an Solaris fan. on nearly anything he would ramble that solaris is supirior to any other os. Luckily he was gone after a few months, unluckily i had to take over the stuff he did.

Fired because an metric they used was too small (accepted tickets). My problem was: everyone of the others took imidiatly the tickets, just to have them "in progress".

renaming the "password" field in a config file to "key"

I wanted to resetup my gitea on a newnserver and now? I can't connect with the postgres db and i have literally no idea why. it fucking worked when it ran on my old debian and now it won't even connect.

😭

1. Where does it run
2. Who runs it
3. did i put every bit of email conversations about errors in my archive?

when i was fired as an external contractor with half an hour notice, because i didn't process enough tickets. I didn't process many tickets because:
1. In the morning everyone grabs tickets just to stop the timer.
2. I worked on some complicated tasks that involved multiple third and fourth parties(not to forget an fucking dropping firewall)

Maybe our old buildsystem that runs using mock and an python 2 script on a RHEL 6 machine OR
The incredible complex system of a gouvernment customer that had a networkplan on DIN A2(or A1 i don't know it anymore) since A3 was too small. i was responsible because everyone else left (because of different reasons) or was too busy.

Probably the one where we had an error, because the service from a thirdparty we needed to install used a fourthparty service that was behind a proxy. Due of internal reasons we needed to use our own tomcat instead of the standard tomcat. We made a meeting because we didn't found out at that point that the problem was the firewall that dropped the packages from the application. We replayed it to them (at that point it was in my musclememory) and after a month i got the idea to use tcpdump to see if the server is calling another webservice, which was denied by the developers.

The best ones are in my opinion the ones that are easy to use and don't need a manual to exit(i look at ypu emacs). This is a list of tools that i use only if nothing else is available:
- nodejs directly
- emacs
- vi/vim
- rpm

Accidently deleting prod data.

Wanted to work from home as usual. Logged in in citrix with my credentials and totp, started rdp to connect with the bank.
i try it for the first time: failed to connect
I try it for the second time: error 0x112d (some thing about two programs that have an the same port open)
I ask my colleagues to look after the pc in the office and what was it:

FUCKING WINDOWS UPDATE FILLED THE RAM COMPLETLY.
Luckily no data was lost, since i had everything important commited and pushed.

Probably one of these:
- electrician (middle or low voltage)
- unfit for employment in germany, which is the worst.

Fuck teamcity. You locked my domainaccount 2 times already this week. Even when i used a accesskey it queried the AD.

I started with html and php with xampp, with the selfhtml in a packaged version.
After this came a language called Lite-C (basically a gaming engine with some stuff abstracted).
After that came again a phase with php/html with some of these small free hosters.
After that my IT specialist training started and i switched to python and now im into golang.

It was my first interview at an local transport company. I should be the programmer of an app and manage the computers.
Me: in what language is the app?
Interviewer: we dont know.

dear perl devs,

WTF is wrong with you.
some of your version numbers look like someone uses floats for money without knowing the dangers of it.
Some Examples:
2.000006
2.003004

SAP.

enough said.

DEAR ******* JAVA DEVELOPERS,

java has the http.proxyHost and http.proxyPort. USE IT.

Books ( stieg larsson, randall munroe, ...), and very old first aid kit,, 2 handmade ludo games, several keyboards, two ood screens, two notebooks, several harddrives and more stuff that should go to recycling.

most cutting edge?
that would be that invoice processing system that is in production despite its pre-pre-pre-alpha status.

All the procrastinating in my schooltime.
All times i was in rage and hurt people.
They haunt me till today among other things.

Editor: nano: small, light and easy usable.

Im a idiot in a world full of idiots

None.