If you’re ignoring accessibility on the web, you’re making UIs exclusively for American white rich healthy neurotypical straight cisgender male Chrome users with gigabit internet and top of the line computers.

Recruiter: "Take this culture survey. It's not a test. There are no right or wrong answers."

Me, internal voice: Then why give me a list of words to choose from that I think describe me best and another list of words to choose from that describe how I ought to behave at work? Clearly, there's a matchup you're trying to do here. So clearly there's going to be a wrong answer if I don't choose enough of the former to match the latter.

Of course I understand CSS…
Nevermind.

Code review titles by year:

1990 - your code is using to much memory
1995 - your code is not running on window 95
2000 - your code is slow
2003 - your code don't have tests
2005 - your code is not 64 bit
2009 - your code is not using mvc patters
2010 - your code is not horizontal scalable
2011 - your code should be written in js
2015 - your code is not mobile ready
2020 - your code is racist

apple: give us more money plz

What do I do with all this extra RAM?!

It's the law

Don't send me a confirmation email that I successfully unsubscribed from your list you shit nugget.

I wish I was as addicted to working as addicted to procrastinating.

Things used to be simple🤔

This one comes during my first coffee.
*on a print poster* we don't like this black on the fonts, please create a new color and name it black, please

I almost choked with my coffee. WTF?!

Well yeah. He is right!

At the top of a 2000+ line source file

Flexible office working hours is a blessing!

Developers be like:

This is one of the best birthday present I had so far. It's a handmade keyboard where almost every key has a special meaning that represent a little story from my past.

A truly geeky gift from my best friends. Thank you!

"my app is so awesome you don't even have to close it, it crashes itself automatically. "

How does a front-end developer get away with murder?

$('body').hide();

//I'll see myself out

Do you too - struggle sometimes to get it off?

When I'm 80 and still want to program but need a much much larger screen....

A sign in front of startup office:
Do not feed the developers! We keep them on a soylent diet - eating real food might make them question their life choices.

I just have the right tools, you know...

Most of semi active Github projects be like...

Come early to the office, that time is really productive

Start working a day before the deadline
Or after... whichever comes first

I wrote an app that tells me if a lottery ticket is winning. It takes a picture of the ticket, does OCR, finds the number lines and compares them with a remote json.
I live next door to a lottery shop.

I didn't know that hating Windows is new sport. Everyone seems to practice it here... 😒

When the normal cream doesn't do the job...

Uninstall Skyrim

I wish I could learn Machine Learning. Automate my work and blame the machine for missing deadline.