Best thing about being a dev? Non techies can't question your reasoning.

Oh, and Dilbert.

Best part of being a dev? Being paid to fix problems in the code you created yourself.

Definitely working from home.

The best parts of being a developer:

1. Full Internet access and admin rights.
2. It's nearly impossible for someone to tell if you are working or just zoning out.
3. We have the best online communities... because we make all of them.

Bob Martin. His books Clean Code and the Clean Coder, and all his talks on architecture, SOLID and TDD. I could listen to him talk for days, and he taught me everything i know about writing clean code.

*Doing Java after using Python for a year*

;
Hide and seek champion 2016.

I love it when adding a breakpoint fixes the bug...

I have no clue what is happening...

From the director of the department within a large investment bank: "We will be looking into converting all Java code to Cobol because it is easier to work with".

Needless to say I started looking for a new job that night.

When the deadline is near and you're still trying to fix a bug.

Saw an add on my fb feed:
"We will make you a programmer in 6 weeks" - course in programming.

6 f*king weeks! I've been studying 5 years, wrote down butt loads of code, debugged billions of bugs, read hundreds pages of documentation and I wouldn't call my self a full developed programmer.

But hey, those fu*kers will make you a programmer in 6 weeks!

They know how to order the commands

Gf: Which way do you round 4.5 up or down?

Me: (int)4.5;

Gf: Ffs the proper way!

Me: Math.Round(4.5);

Gf: Fuck off.

That pain

Log into work at 9 am to see a meeting scheduled for 7 am, sent at 6 am.

"So you need access to the test server?"
Me:"Yes"
"Please fill these 800000000 forms,sign here,get your blood sample,your ID ,your right kidney,letter of approval from your boss,...."

Fuuuuuuuck!!!! I just want to change only 3 lines of code!!!!!!

Never ask a woman about their age.

Never ask a man about their wage.

Never ask a dev about their bugs.

I'm Batduck, Shhhhhh...

"Your password must be between 8-20 characters and contain an uppercase letter, a lowercase letter, a number, a special character and a haiku about your childhood pet."

When the team isn't holding anymore

<table> ftw