!rant

A simple yet cool wallpaper that I enjoy; I thought maybe you guys would like it too

"Sir, I fixed the recent bug"

"Great, what did you do?"

"I commented out the code that was causing it :)"

"Brilliant! You didn't forget to push the code to production, did you?"

"No Sir, I pushed it immediately"

"Marvelous! I'll arrange a promotion for you next month"

Started to learn f# 😄

I think this is appropriate for this week's topic.

I have this old lady that I help from time to time with her computer issues.

She is nice, so I feel compelled to help her.

Get a call one day.

Lady : "hello, my internet and email isn't working, I've tried everything, could you maybe help me?"

Me : "Sure, ill come over after work and check it out"

*arrive at her house*

Lady : "you see, none of the web pages load, and my email refuses to sync. Should I call (insert isp name), or can you fix it?"

Me : I'm sure I can get it, gimme a sec.

*find the issue in a sec or two, dunno how to tell her about it, she isn't totally stupid*

Me : "Uhh, I don't know if you checked, but the ether.. internet cable isn't plugged in"

Lady : *realizes the wtf moment I'm having, obviously feeling very stupid*

Me : "Don't worry, happens to the best of us"

Obviously I lied a little, most of us would probably check the damn cable. Sometimes is just better to make people not feel like its their fault. People learn better when they don't feel like something is making a fool of them.

I have helped this lady with so many things that are just straight out of this world.

The one time she tried emailing 37mb tiff files over her 315kbps network.

Another time she said her email was not syncing, so I went to her house and clicked the "sync" button.

She even once phoned me to get their wifi password.

I just like helping her, somehow it makes me feel as if we all have something to learn.

Code as a first year student..

Always comment your code.

😂😂😂

Dissertation is about dark net markets, was proposed as a research project but I decided to make some scrapers to add in a programming aspect.
Unsurprisingly dark net markets are a bitch to scrape.
At least I'm learning stuff :p.

Just optimized a bottleneck function in a program down from 160ms to 3ms. First time I've ever used a profiler, and it feels awesome.

Best site(s) to look for freelance coding jobs?

Unit testers be like: "looks like it's working"

I just tried ending a line in normal English using a ";" instead of a "."

I need a break.

My boyfriend is in dental school and I am, of course, a dev. So we often swap analogies to help each other better understand what we are talking (or usually complaining) about. My favorite one so far is when I was explaining to him how the sales team undersells websites without consulting developers and we are constantly over budget. So he goes, "That's like the receptionist telling the patient they have 2 cavities just by looking at them and having them pay immediately. And when the dentist takes a look, the patient actually needs 4 crowns and a root canal... but they already paid for just the 2 cavities."

This is going to be interesting.

A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"

The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.

"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."

The man below replies, "You must work in management."

"I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"*

"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."

You know things just got serious when you reach for pen and paper.

Only in computer science you'll find that root is on the top of the tree and that parent may kill it's child after its function is no longer needed.

I've been doing agile wrong my entire life

The journey of thousands of devrants begins with the first, print ("Hello World")

Fun fact: if you send a string as response from a java Servlet to Ajax request. The string isn't null terminated.

wanna know how I found out. I didn't for 2 whole FUCKING days.

Last night I came back from work completely drained, as usual, and thought to myself - "I'll just lie down for a second..." Next thing my alarm wakes me up 12 hours later - "What the... Again?!?"

It was just my biannual collapse from exhaustion. Now I'm good to go for at least six more months. Yay...

This is what happens when you have been working only on "critical" and "we have to do this or the company sinks" projects (are there any other kinds anyway?) for the past 10 years with NO rest between jobs and NO leisure vacations taken...

Funnily enough, this event coincides with my futile biannual introspective analysis on things I did wrong in my life.

Now back to saving the company...

When your classmates come to you for help

<form name="temporary" class="permanent">

#codingjokes

I HAVE BEEN CALLED TO 3 OF THE FINEST HACKATHONS IN MY COUNTRY RN, 2 BEING ORGANISED BY HUGE COMPANIES AND ONE BY A COOL COLLEGE. I CAN'T GO BECAUSE FUCKING INFOSYS IS COMING TO MY COLLEGE FOR PLACEMENTS AND MY TEAM MEMBERS ARE NOW BACKING OFF. WTF.

There are two types of people in the world...

😂😂😂

Prisoners be like "I'm innocent", devs be like "It worked on my machine".

Sure pal, sure.

So I've been programming for a while now in various languages like C#, JavaScript, etc. I have never understood how to do OOP until I watched the MVA videos on Microsoft's website and I have to say, its made me love C# more and made things so much easier to understand!

I'm already thinking about rewriting my personal projects from scratch lol.

"A software Engineer? Why don't you do a real job instead of fixing people's computers?"

- ex gf 2011

"I'm proud you do something you love"

- wife 2016