University of Maastricht right now:

*Clop clop
Who's there?
*Clop
Clop who?
*Clop ransomware!

(Klop (clop as pun in this context) is knock in Dutch)

A girl I used to have a crush on suddenly contacted after 2 years because she still thinks of me as one of her "best friends", and was sorry that she "hurt" me. After a few minutes talking, I knew she just wanted to get her new website done... Go to hell you fucking bitch

Me : The website renewal bill is up and it will due in 30 days

Client : Sleep

Me : 14 days

Client : Sleep

Me : 7 days

Client : Sleep

Me : Last notice, it'll be dead tommorow if we dont pay today

Client : Sleep

*website dies*

Me : F

Client the day after suspension : Hey, we can't access the site.

Me : Play dead

***

I think i should say "email service will die if you don't pay the renewal bill" instead

based on how quick they react when shit stopped working

Guy: I don't trust password managers
Me: so how do you remember passwords?
Guy: oh, I just keep them in a note in the iPhone notes app/iCloud.

True Story
Happens everytime coz new programmers don't have the patience to read old answers and try to understand them.

I have been programming for 1.5 years and I never needed to ask a single question.

Saw this on insta thought it was pretty funny

Python syntax is almost like KARMA! 😒😓
Karma is "what you do is what you get" while
Python syntax is "what you see is what you get"

Currently learning Kotlin, coming from Java. Just spent half an hour wondering wtf was wrong with

abstract fun add(E element)

Kill me

can't stop laughing on this...lol

The real version control. 😂

How millionaires deal with laptops.

1. Buy a gaming laptop.
2. Install any OS.
3. Open IE11.
4. Place cursor in the new search bar in top right.
5. Type 4k wallpapers.
6. Download anything.
7. Open in MS Photos.
8. Right click, Set as > Wallpaper BG
9. Leave it in the corner.
10. Sell it at double 2 days later.