When your work alarm goes off on a Bank Holiday Monday because Apple still dont have a feature to disable alarms on Bank Holidays. Cheers Tim.

I don't know how I would function without free coffee

Lesson Learned

why must we play god

That awkward moment when you're trying to find patterns to pin point trade ahead transactions on stock market and you realized that you were hired as Android developer.

When you build a fully responsive web app and the client IT dept goes and sticks it in an iframe on their Sitecore site 😱

What are these lines for?

Wanted a quiet day at work this Monday so updated my development laptop to Ubuntu 16.04. Ended up spending the whole day fixing it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

So...

function watch($i = null)
switch($i) {
case 1:
return 'Game of Thrones';
break;
case 2:
return 'Silicon Valley';
break;
case 3:
return 'Fear The Walking Dead';
break;
}
}

echo watch(rand(1,3));

Maybe I'm alone on this one, but when JS developers talk about the frameworks they use- it sounds the same as a hipster talking about the bands that I probably haven't heard of

How I feel every time...

The headset rule. If put on, project managers, the pope and everyone should stay away the developers. If put on one ear, it is allowed to disturb if it's important. Headset off, party time.

You know you are desperate for an answer when you look at the second page of Google

It makes me shudder when clients use "pages" to describe a website project and its size.

Holding off the website launch date because IE 8 isn't compatible! Can't wait for IE to be discontinued!

Not fully supported anything below IE11 since january. Surprisingly very few questions, negative feedback or negative impact on site traffic. Just pure joy at work. "Caniuse? - Yes, you can use."

Using your root privileges wisely..

The feeling when someone you stood up on date last week on Tinder, starts working in the same office some days later.

Client: we love Internet Explorer, can you show me how the best way to use it?

Me:
Step 1: Open Internet Explorer

Step 2: Search & download Chrome.

Step 3: Close Internet Explorer

Step 4: Move Internet explorer to the bin.

Step 5: Never talk about using Internet Explorer again.

When you get stuck on a problem and you just stare at your code until you don't see any code.

You only see the woman in the red dress....

What end users seem like

All the things! 🙌🏼

Spending hours designing an email newsletter only for Microsoft Outlook to continue living in the stone age and fucking ruin it for you.

Poor indentation will be the death of me

I often alias sudo as "fucking". Therefore if I get an error like

cannot delete . I just type fucking delete .

Front end and vim