Real definition

Interviewer: "I checked your Github, your side projects look very interesting! Tell me about your other hobbies."

Me: "other hobbies?"

How a Production Deployment feels like

When they make me do some css

Why don't developers shower?
-- They hate SOAP.

The Matrix, minus the oppressive AI overlord, so I can jack into it and learn all the frameworks necessary to build said dream project.

</sarcasm>

What I would define as a critical bug:
- System doesn't respond
- Functionality is broken
- Client data is all wrong

What QA defines as a critical bug:
- Typo on this page in the QA environment

Decentralized blockchain government.

I frckin HATE people who say 'Ah, you can program now? So can you make a game for me? I even have some ideas!, bla bla blurb...'
It makes me wanna hurt them. And the really, really sad thing about it is: nearly no one understands why.

The awkward moments when you've been laughing too much from most of these rants and your non programming friends wonder what's funny about them after showing them and trying to explain but they look at you all like...

- Sir, you must put away your laptop before the flight takes off.
- Is a tablet okay?
- Yes
- *Uncouples keyboard from Surface*
- ಠ_ಠ
- (⌐■_■)

I see what you did there, Microsoft.

When deadline is near..

My screens have a different height, but luckily I solved the problem with c++