I have the best gf in the world.
She tries to understand what I spend so many hours working on, even though she has little interest in it. She is seriously patient with me and lets me do my thing just because she knows it makes me happy.

I got my reward stress ball about a week ago, but it vanished within minutes of opening the package 😧

Today I found out who had taken it.

Every software should have this

When you become a god.

Feeling so much cooler than everybody else is cool too.

Re-deploying to the Apple App Store after making a "minor" change to your app

Never try walking on water...

Code never lies, comments sometimes do

#truth

Tired is the day when waiting for a file to load, only to realize it has loaded long ago and the file is the spinner.

First date tip: Don't tell her that you prefer back-end over front-end. Programming is apparently "the most perverted thing in the world"...

Dealing with a client that won't pay:

Add opacity to the body tag and increase it every day until the site completely fades away...

Programmers of today are like the monks of the middle ages. We use a language that people don't understand, we spend all our time sitting in a room reading, and people constantly ask us for advice but never really listens to the answer.

My GF just selected all files on her harddrive and clicked "Open".

The look at her face when she figured out what she have done.

BONUS: She restarts her computer, and upon start she selects Yes to the "Your computer shutdown unexpected, would you like to re-open the applications" popup 😂

You know you need to stop debugging and sleep when you start rearranging your comments in the hope that your code will work!

Just spent 2 hours to write 5 lines of code.
But those 5 lines are worth 500 :)

I'm reading 'JavaScript: The Good Parts'. Nearly a quarter of the way through and all I've read about are bad parts. I thought this would make me like JavaScript more, not less!

Damn it chair! why can't you just shut up?? I'm trying to work here 😠

A web developer's bookshelf. Pre and post career. Certainly makes the bugs, chores, dev bosses, and bullshit priorities (that take away from "code purity") all the more tolerable - and introspective. Thanks Mom!

The five stages of debugging:

give the Man a computer

Client: We need to deploy some Windows 2003 servers.

Us: Sure thing, Mr. Client. Your money is more important than the security and stability of our systems.

What we should have said: Sure, but you need to stop in our office, put your dick in a vice and we'll take turns cranking that bitch closed until you agree to use something more modern.

To the guy who said that java is the best programming language. Sorry if it has been posted before.

A young guy I work with burst into tears today, I had no idea what happened so I tried to comfort him and ask what was up.

It appears his main client had gone nuts with him because they wanted him to make an internet toolbar (think Ask.com) and he politely informed them toolbars doesn't really exist anymore and it wouldn't work on things like modern browsers or mobile devices.

Being given a polite but honest opinion was obviously something the client wasn't used to and knowing the guy was a young and fairly inexperienced, they started throwing very personal insults and asking him exactly what he knows about things (a lot more than them).

So being the big, bold, handsome senior developer I am, I immediately phoned the client back and told them to either come speak to me face-to-face and apologise to him in person or we'd terminate there contract with immediate effect. They're coming down tomorrow...

So part my rant, part a rant on behalf of a young developer who did nothing wrong and was treated like shit, I think we've all been there.

We'll see how this goes! Who the hell wants a toolbar anyway?!

Found this gem in our code

Hey Girl,
Roses are #ff0000
Violets are #0000ff
Sugar is sweet
And so are you.

(sorry if this is a repost!)

Yep lol

Happy new Date().getYear() + 1; to me!

Reading your code from years back is one of the most painful experiences a developer has to go through.