A friend shared this with me, went to the website to save the image and saw this dialog 😏

I know Git gonna work, cause I don't know what I'm gonna do if it doesn't

That's how you know you're getting close...

Fuck Googles SafetyNet.
I wish for every developer who is responsible for this pile of shit to choke to death on a big fucking piece of chocolate.

SafetyNet is the most retarded piece of software that has ever been developed in the past decade. It does nothing but annoy everyone, randomly block people for no reason and being a gigantic pain in the ass. It has no purpose existing. The entire purpose of it simply does not make sense and is only used for marketing bullshit. The last thing I would trust my actually important shit with is a phone.

Fuck you, Google. Fuck you.

FML
B: boss
M: me

B "Do this work (basically a document parser) "
A "Done using regexp"
B "The data coming in is different now"
A "ok, updated the regexp parts to account for this"
B "hmm, I you should rewrite it using library tool coworker made"
A "eeer ok, redone all the work now but it's a little hacky"
B "oh, library tool isn't flexible enough. Hmmm maybe use regexp?"
A - literally dead

A young guy I work with burst into tears today, I had no idea what happened so I tried to comfort him and ask what was up.

It appears his main client had gone nuts with him because they wanted him to make an internet toolbar (think Ask.com) and he politely informed them toolbars doesn't really exist anymore and it wouldn't work on things like modern browsers or mobile devices.

Being given a polite but honest opinion was obviously something the client wasn't used to and knowing the guy was a young and fairly inexperienced, they started throwing very personal insults and asking him exactly what he knows about things (a lot more than them).

So being the big, bold, handsome senior developer I am, I immediately phoned the client back and told them to either come speak to me face-to-face and apologise to him in person or we'd terminate there contract with immediate effect. They're coming down tomorrow...

So part my rant, part a rant on behalf of a young developer who did nothing wrong and was treated like shit, I think we've all been there.

We'll see how this goes! Who the hell wants a toolbar anyway?!

Dear javascript frameworks / libraries,

slow. the. fuck. down.

Thank you 🙃

When I turn off my laptop and the mouse starts blinking because it is trying to connect to the host I imagine a young boy in the fields shouting "Papa? Daddy where are you? [Crying] Papaaa"

I am so fucking drunk but still I ended up completing a task which is a feature request.... I have no idea how I did it... But it works in staging... That's what I remember.... Will see tomorrow.... I am also the tester in the hierarchy which starts and ends with me... I don't know whether this qualifies as a rant

What happens if you multiply the artist Adele with 2?

You get two dells 😐🔫

Snapchat: You can't just copy all of my concepts and sell them as yours.

Facebook: Watch me.

!rant

Today marks three years of marriage to the best rubber duck ever.

😍

Users be like:

Client brief vs Client Budget

I find it super annoying, this trend where no one wants to write learning documentation anymore, but instead put up a bunch of demo videos and video "training courses."

I don't want to spend 5 minutes watching you do something that would take me 10 seconds to read. I can't search for terms in your video, and I can't use them as a general reference manual. I can't go at my own pace, easily keep my place between devices, enter code as you go, the list of cons goes on and on.

I would rather pay you money for a good eBook (and no, PDFs don't count), than to have the only realistic way to learn about your software be a playlist on your YouTube channel.

This, however, this...

Went to check out Ansible again, because I've heard good things lately and it's been a couple years since I've looked at it.

Took me a while to find their docs because there's almost no mention of anything on the home page except trying Tower for free.

Found the docs. The first item there is the Quick Start Video and I think, "Cool. That's a good use of video, showing off the product."

I dig out some headphones, click play:

"Ansible is a powerful" BOOM!

Enter my email to watch the video?!

Ah, forget it. Maybe I'll see you next time, Ansible.

A bug has feelings to -_-

Client-Side Form Validation only be like...

Those 10 seconds when there is a feature request and you have to answer the question "How much time will it take?" inTheSpot