I used CSS to vertical align some text..

without checking Stack Overflow

It's called code

Tested and checked in code. Left on vacation and came back.

The code I checked in still was there, still works, and didn't cause any fires while I was gone :)

Success!

Codenvy.io : 3GBs of RAM per free user

Codenvy Nightly : 100GBs per free user

im in a mindfuck state rn

Algo strikes again

I pray to the Elders of the Internet every night, before I go to sleep.

“Good comments explain why, not what,” says Andy Marks. “Do more of the former and none of the latter. A well named method or variable will beat a well-written comment every day.”

Maintain your LinkedIn, write little articles about implementations on a tech blog, check issues on popular github projects and make PRs, create a portfolio website. Register as a company and do some freelance work, even if it's just a cheap website for your grandma's knitting club.

Do the tour/tutorial of every popular language/framework. Learn the basics of react/vue as a backend dev, learn some sql as a frontend dev. Set up a vps server at DO or AWS, host a few small services. Fullstack is bullshit, but communication is key in development, which means you need to know about the whole playing field.

Recruiters can be useful, but knowing developers in your area is even more valuable. So especially if you're unemployed, go to hackathons, conferences and meetups.

Uhh... OK

Fuck you css

What really matters about being a developer is how you use your skills, you can know lots but you need to be creative and open-minded.

Don't use your skills for stuff like this, with great power comes great responsibility, don't abuse your powers to give people camcer

Enough said

Me: *busy doing dev stuff with my laptop*

Sis: *looks at my to-do stickies* Hey, what's Log4j?

Me: *without looking away from my screen* it's a library.

Sis: oh, cool! Where is it? Do you have a membership?

Me: Ha-Ha. This is going on devRant.

Must've taken a loooot of time :)

suddenly while you introduce yourself to everyone..

To my horror I've been asked to cover some small jobs for support whilst he's away.. First tap on my shoulder, can you look at my laptop? it's not charging...
Is it plugged in and switched on at the mains..
Yeah, I'm not silly.
It was neither plugged in or turned on.
I made the long and hard transition to DevOps, I now know it was worth it.
Rant Over

// Objectify woman
Woman woman = new Woman();

Foo bar!!

I now start my to-do lists with
//TODO:

Go home candle. 🕯️
You are drunk. 🍺

I hope the person that drives this Camaro (Glendora, CA) is a ranter on here. 😂

Source: /r/ProgrammerHumor

As a Python user and the fucking unicode mess, this is sooooo mean!

Fixing a parents iPhone, episode 1.

Problem: "Whatsapp is gone off my phone"

Debugging:

Me: *unlocks phone and sees whatsapp*, it's right here.

Mam: no, I no that I can't see my messages.

Me: ok, that is definitely not what "whatsapp is gone off my phone means".

*opens whatsapp*
*inside add contact screen*

App seems ok, your trying to add a contact?

Mam: that's a problem, whenever I open it I only see that page.

Me: *taps cancel button with shocked face*

Mam: omg there's my messages, how did you do that?

Me: ... ... ... I tapped the very easy to see, large cancel button in the top right hand corner.

Mam: but why was it opened there?

Me: *looks at opened message from unknown number*

If I was to hazard a guess, now stay with me on this one as it's a bit complex. I think ... I THINK ... you clicked the "add to contacts" button on the screen in front of you.

I am suspicious of one thing though.

Mam: what's that?

Me: how you managed to click the add contacts button, and when brought to the add contacts screen, you assume the app is broken.

Mam: oh will you **** off you sarcastic little ****. Thank you very much.

Me: no prob, 4 year computer science course put to great use.

My girlfriend saw me coding in XCode.
GF: What are you doing?
Me: Ahmm. Coding.
GF: *saw the colors in every line of code
GF: That's easy. You just need to follow the color pattern. Green, Blue, Red and Yellow.
Me:
Macbook:
XCode:
Charger:

BTW. She's a Preschool Teacher. Hahahaha

When your boss asks you to debug some crappy legacy code and you need to bring in the heavy artillery

Well played, Google assistant! well played!

Four months ago changed a laptop failing hdd and give it back to customer. Today I got a 30 minutes call because the computer "is not like before the repair, it doesn't work well".

*Thinks* Well, s#*@, before the repair the hdd had more than 2000 damaged clusters, which prevented even the os to start

*Says* "Could you describe me the issue?"
....
...
[ basically he was saying that since he started using IE as a browser, he didn't have Google.com set as the first page and that he had to bing it]
...
"When did the 'issue' start, If I may ask?"

>"Two weeks ago. "

Two weeks ago.
Two f*""#ng weeks ago.
Set aside for the nature of the issue, you blame my four months ago repair for a two weeks ago issue?
"The computer was better before"?
THAT F###ING MACHINE WAS LIKE A BURNING HOUSE - I RESCUED DATA FOR 2 DAYS JUST BEFORE THE HDD STARTED TO CRANK AT EVERY SPIN - I REBUILT IT TO GIVE IT YOU BACK FULLY WORKING AFTER YOU USED AS A FOOTBALL, AND NOW YOU BLAME ME BECAUSE THE
BROWSER ISN'T SETTED AS YOU LIKE

No,seriously, is like I rebuilt a burned house from scrap and now the owner blames me because in the kitchen sink the hot water tap is on the right side instead of the left side.
Seriusly, wtf.

Savage!!! (-Programming Geeks)

Python thug life