So deep!

Why he avoids thinking...

Precision 😂

When creative director starts sentence with: "Can we JUST..."

pretty much sums it up...

ERROR: time not found

Want to start playing with iOS 10 and Xcode 8 but my hotel's wifi is maxed out at 3.8 MB. Guess I'll wait till I get home...

Customer writing User stories

Relax junior LOL

This just happened....

Tester: My cluster is not working properly!!!
Me: What's wrong?
Tester: I don't know. I've checked all the logs available on the entire cluster. All i know is that node 1 and 7 is broken.
*ssh into the cluster*
node1
# less /var/log/<affected application log>.log
*no errors here everything is working properly*
node7
# less /var/log/<affected application log>.log
*goes down to the bottom and scrolls up a few lines*
<insert massive error here>

Checked all the logs eh?

"git push -f" be like 🙈

fuck you SimpleDateFormat. Every single time. get one case incorrect, suddenly its june the 45th, 3017.

If I see force unwrapping I will immediately think your whole code is shit!

yep,It's Monday again

"A programmer is not a pc-repair man"

😂😂😂😂😂

Paying bills on payday

Anyone ever get this?

Call internet provider to ask about a problem :
costumer service: in order to help you, I need to know what windows version do you use, Windows 8, windows 7...
Me: I use linux
Costumer service : I'm sorry, we don't provide support to Windows Linux

IF YOU HARD CODE URLS INTO YOUR CODE I WILL HARD CODE MY FIST INTO YOUR FACE

yeah I actually forgot to thank stackover flow from what I am now. Thank you Stackoverflow

credits on the owner of the photo.

Who else is tired of Apple's provisioning and certificate nonsense?

Exactly !

LOL ...

I'm sure it happened with you :)

So my girlfriend was Gavin wifi problems and she calls me to fix it with vague description of what's happening (not even enough to google).
"But I'm a programmer?"
"And?"
"That's networking, they're quite different"
"It's computer stuff it can't be that different"

"We all just commit to the master branch here."

I'm a Comp Sci Professor on the side. Student complaint on class survey: "Tests are too hard, he expects you to know the language."

after hours of debugging your program without any luck...
wife(never programmed a day in her life): what's up?
me: I can't figure out why this program won't work
wife: oh! you're probably missing a semi-colon somewhere

if (time >= 10)
{
SleepyTime();
}
else
{
WriteCode();
}