Why is it that every single employer in this field expects you to live and breathe tech and have it as your only source of enjoyment? Can't it just be a job that I show up and do every day and then spend my free time with whatever the hell I want? This morning's job interview:
Hiring manager: so what do you like doing in your free time?
Me: talks about actual hobbies, trying to be personable, making a few jokes, etc
HM: soooo.. nothing tech related then?

I can't imagine any other job expecting this amount of devotion. "So you want to be an accountant but you don't do it after hours for fun!?" Why is this normal?

**Sorry for ranting, job search is getting increasingly frustrating.

A user didn’t remember creating an account and didn’t understand why they received an “account created” email. Best case: this person just forgot. Worst case: someone impersonated them.

I look up this person’s order history and see only one order in the database. The account was created right after the order. Order was for $10k. I’m thinking, oh shit was there a fraudulent payment?!

I dig deeper and see it’s actually for a membership renewal. And our records are showing a birthdate for 1937. Now I’m thinking, ok I have a high roller who is very old. So I have to be REALLY careful about my response to this person.

I manage to reproduce the scenario and…it’s totally user error. The person just forgot they created an account. I’m letting customer service handle the correspondence for this. Sorry CS.

Two top do-overs:
1) Not be a dev and try harder to be an astronaut as was my original plan.
2) If #1 still gave trouble, at least not waste 6 years of my career doing a detour into social media and PR. It was the early days when the salary (6 figures) and bonuses (5 figures) at that level of the corporate hierarchy were nice. But other than a bulked up 401k and paid-off house, social media ended up being a dead end for me. Going back to dev work meant I had NOTHING skill-wise to show for that time. I am STILL trying to catch up.

Type letter "w" in wife's browser

"What is the ratio of open to closed doors in the world right now?"

"Why doesn't my baby molt her skin all at once while she grows?"

"Will Python help me to make a robot friend for my toddler daughter"

"Where do I buy tensors for building robot brains"

"Why don't we solve aging population and climate change by not vaccinating boomers"

Me: ... "Seriously, why can't you just watch hardcore porn, like a normal person"

Sitting down all day doesn't do my back much good, so thought I'd look for an electric back massager. And there's plenty around - great! So I do the normal thing I do and take a look at the reviews...

...but the reviews are completely unhelpful, because about 5% are the usual complaining it turned up late, 5% are maybe talking about using it as a back massager, and the remaining 90% seem to be using it as a vibrator. Some are even just bloody ambiguous. I'm still not sure if "takes a bit of work to get it in the right spot, but it's very effective when it's there" is referring to someone with a sore back, or someone who's sexually frustrated. Who knows, maybe both.

First world problems eh.

Every time I use CSS

Source: https://twitter.com/PPathole/...

Covid-19 quarantine checklist:
> isolate yourself ✓
> wash hands ✓ // duuuuh
> work from home ✓
> buy normal quantities of TP ✓
> get attacked by a bat (from Wuhan?! O.o) ✓
> buy some favourite bar soap
> ...

W8 wut?!
Yeah...I saw a bat fly by the balcony.. I thought: oh, how nice, they never fly so close.. Wait...a bat?! Aren't bats supposed to start all this shiiii...O.O
Thoughts interrupted by a bat flap tap (sound it makes when it hits something) behind my back..
Quickly pull hoodie over the hair..and jacket hood to, just in case.. friend once got a bat tangled in her curly hair.. I didn't wanna test if straight but longer hair also make problems for them.. Some more flapping & scratchy noises (I think it fell on the umbrella) then nothing.. OMG did it die on my balcony?! How the fuck am I gonna explain a dead bat to the authorities who remove dead wildlife?! >Yeah, a funny thing happened the other day, I got a message from Wuhan and the messenger dropped dead on my balcony..< Yeah, this would totally work.. o.0 Anyhow, once the noises stopped, I turned around to check on it..but couldn't find it.. so I just hope it managed to fly away and I won't find it after 3 days in the middle of my apartment... o.0

Project bugs...

I finished a big refactoring. It makes me feel so good to delete all those lines of code. Even though I have a decided to leave this company in the near future, I am very happy that I leave the code in a better shape. Somebody who is replacing me doesn't have to go through shit anymore.

Well, here goes the first day of my four week notice period. Finally took the decision to look for a new job last week. I'm curious where I'm gonna end up, but I'll be relieved when these four weeks are over. I lost interest in the job I'm currently at and it sucks that I'm still stuck here for so long, but at least there's an end in sight now.

At the mall

* Intern comes back to the same company after a year *

[Senior developer] : What did you learn last year at school?

[Intern] : I can develop any Android app now

* Opens his phone and clicks on an app *
* Only one page with text : "Hello World" *

[Senior developer] * drops on the floor in an attempt to hide his laughter *

Scientist has send some message to another universe which are some light years away. Due to the distance the earliest reply we can get is after 25 years.

Thanks to Google Assistant!

When you try to change your job

(•_•)
<) )╯i
/ \

\(•_•)
( (> got
/ \

(•_•)
<) )> promoted
/ \

where is it

who knows this :D

Idk why but i rarely see devs who lift. All i see is 2 different types of devs;
- who runs
- who doesn't run which either leaves him to be very skinny or somewhat fat which both cases are unhealthy af.

Ever have one of those days that you want to high-five people? With a chair? In the face? That is the day I'm having now. Mondays suck.

.