So this backend developer boasted.
"All the controls are in my hands.. you frontend developers are just the puppets of our API's".

Next day i did this:

If (email === '****') {
profilePicture = 'dick.jpg';
}

* Yesterday:*
PM: Yes, so, could you please do those changes on this page tomorrow by 3 pm and push to prod?
Me: Yeah sure! Noted :) (task is to "untick" a checkbox in a page's settings on our CMS)

* the next day -- 11 am *
PM: erm yes so please can you do the changes I told you about, it's getting urgent and you didn't start it already and it stresses the hell out of me because today is friday and it needs to be up and running fine for Monday 12pm and you don't work on weekend so I'd like yo-
Me:

Me : "Hey, I can't find the comments.js file, do you know where it is stored?"
Co-worker : "Yep, look in the CSS folder"
Me : "OK, thanks!"

5 seconds later..

Me : "Wait, what?"

Enough is enough. This has happened for the last time! >:(

So my boss sent me a msg at 00:05 to update production.

And here I was at 7:30am reading it with a poker face thinking "no dude, my working hours are not like that, lol. Get a life."

Oh shit

When you get high on validation

Got this in a fortune cookie the other day right after I released a new app.

"Don't give your 100%. Never. Once you gave, managers will start expecting more than that." - My mentor.

This moment when you finish the project. All done! Yeah! Ok, what’s next dude?

#useless #code #oss

Couple rants ago I talked about how it would be easier to just block people from the EU, apparently somebody made that idea into a hosted script! LOL

https://euroshield.xyz/

lol 😂😂😂

Git : Can't pull because there are uncommitted changes.

Me : *check the changes*

Git : None

Me : ಠ_ಠ

When you mention in your resume that you are an active contributor to Linux source code.

GDPR done right. 😂😂

When you use a new technology without reading the documentation first.

This is what happens when I'm asked to document something.

A boy asked his bitcoin-investing dad for 1 bitcoin for his birthday.

Dad: What? $15,554??? $14,354 is a lot of money! What do you need $16,782 for anyway?

Source: Twitter @cryptomanran

So the head developer at my company quit, and I was chosen to replace him. I haven’t even graduated college yet and am already leading development at a company with over a million active users. Is this real life?

What if programmers made the world 🌎?? 😝😂

Quick shout out to windows for thinking .css files should be opened with Skype.

"Coding is solving puzzles".

I think everyone has heard that platitude. But it's not exactly right.

So I grew up in a very poor environment, a moldy building full of jobless addicts.

And in my town there was this shop where super poor parents could take their kids to borrow free toys and stuff.

So as a kid I remember being frustrated by these second hand jigsaw puzzles, because there were always a few pieces which had been teared up or chewed on, or were even completely missing.

That is what development is.

You pull in this seemingly awesome composer package, and that one super useful method is declared private, so you need to fork the whole thing.

Your coworker has built this great microservice in python, but instead of returning 404 not found, it returns 200 with json key/value saying "error": "not found".

There's a shitload of nicely designed templates for the company website, but half of them have container divs inside the components, the other half expect to be wrapped in container divs when included.

You're solving puzzles, but your peers are all brainless jigsaw-piece-chewers. They tried to mend a problem, but half way through got distracted, hungry and angry, started drooling over the task and used a hammer to fit in the remaining stuff.

I don't eject my USB sticks properly

Oh shit. I found something better. Had to delete previous rant.

Google Assistant is actually being cheeky!

This is a valid point.

Professor : Explain deadlock and I will give you full marks.

Me:- You give me full marks and I'll explain deadlock.

When you look at the old projects you abandoned on github

Saw this on insta thought it was pretty funny