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AboutDeveloper
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Skillsc, c++, c#, Pascal, Assembler, VB, Java, JavaScript
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Joined devRant on 6/3/2016
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Paraphrased conversation I saw in a space forum:
dude1: Our galaxy is moving toward a large cluster of galaxies and we don't know why.
dude2: Could it be gravity?
dude1: No gravity isn't strong enough for the distances involved.
dude3: Those galaxies are sexy as fuck. Our galaxy wants to hit that.
dude4: Is our galaxy old enough for a cluster fuck? -
Another case of "devs too stupid to poop" TM.
We had a funny discussion today.
Topic came up that a project using Lucene was incredibly slow.
Then came the yadda yadda of Java bad, Java sucks, Java bla Java blub in the gossip mill.
Both things irritated me, last thing was just the usual "I want to use new stuff cause I wanna be a cool jackass" trouble.
So. Today meeting. We did quick analysis by pair programming.
If I tell you that a whole team managed to review an PR, give it green light...
Despite the PR using the thread safe Lucene IndexWriter in a non-parallel fashion for large bulk inserts?
The whole problem screamed parallelization.
Yeah. If you ignore that scream and implement it in a sequential fashion, it is slow.
Congrats Jimmy, your retard level is off the charts. -
Managers: wE wAnT tO bE LeAn aNd MoVe FaSt As PoSsIBLe wiTh NeW FeAtUrEs
Same Managers: Can you make this icon 2 pixels smaller?! Shift this element left?! Swap out this icon?! Use a different color here?! A perfect feature and design is critical!!!!!!
FullStackClown: You can either be lean and fast, or be fucking nitpicking clowns 🤡 about this stuff and slow us all down. Choose one.
Managers: ...
FullStackClown: Sit down and shut up7 -
Oh for crying out loud, Github is stopping with the term 'master' due to its 'negative association'.
Can we please not pull everything out of goddamn context and not be a fucking offended special snowflake with ANYTHING that could potentially be thought of in a way that could be associated with slavery?!
If we're gonna do it like this I want to ask people of color not to use white/light themed websites/backgrounds.173 -
As my teacher once said: if you want to avoid to get a burnout, just have kids. Parents have no time for having burnouts.10
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The time my Java EE technology stack disappointed me most was when I noticed some embarrassing OutOfMemoryError in the log of a server which was already in production. When I analyzed the garbage collector logs I got really scared seeing the heap usage was constantly increasing. After some days of debugging I discovered that the terrible memory leak was caused by a bug inside one of the Java EE core libraries (Jersey Client), while parsing a stupid XML response. The library was shipped with the application server, so it couldn't be replaced (unless installing a different server). I rewrote my code using the Restlet Client API and the memory leak disapperead. What a terrible week!2
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Started with learning C.
Made the first big mistake right at the start.
NOTE TO ME:
NEVER EVER SEARCH FOR "C STRING" WHILE WORKING.10 -
AI boffins. Get a move on with this conversational UI stuff. Typing is getting old now.
Then two years later, when I'm bored of that, I want to just *think* the text onto the screen.
Leave mention here when ready. -
I have a dream that one day the sales people will consult with a developer on time and effort estimates before making ridiculous promises to the client.5
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Whoever thought setting up SQL database connections through XML was a good idea needs to be put on trial. And then exiled to a deserted island so they can think about all the pain they put me through.5
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This seems like a 100% legit answer to me...
(Yes this is what i actually sent and not just a shit meme)8 -
!dev
Getting my breakfast at a hema store, pay by card and my pincode (contactless paying by card is also a thing here) and walk towards the cutlery.
Random guy: HEY YOU! YOU SHOULD PAY CONTACTLESS. PAYING BY PIN IS VERY DANGEROUS. YOU HEAR ME? PAY CONTACTLESS FROM NOW ON!
Me: uhm I usually pay with cash tbh but I don't like paying contactless through card....
Guy: YOU REALLY SHOULD. THEY STOLE MY FUCKING MONEY WHEN I PAID WITH MY CARD + PINCODE.
😶14 -
Customer: «We want all the users belonging to this organization share the same username and password»
[Editor's note: we are talking about 500 users, more or less half of the total in the system]
Customer, after some minutes: «It's very important for us having the web interface using HTTPS, because we care security a lot».
So, please, go fuck yourself. And die.6 -
I am working in a cool company where during our coding principles conversation , I was giving a walkthrough of my code. I accepted some valid criticism. Shit hit the fan, when my I tried to explain it to them why I have written modules and the necessity of them in this application. So instead of writing several functions , I have created a common module for handling these tasks . After a lengthy argument , I am told that I should write understandable and lengthy code instead of complex and small one. This is what I think so too, that code should be readable by human but at some point , one also has to look decide if this practice is suitable for every carse or not. Man this is fucking killin me. Then I am also told that to rewrite the code and write it in such a way that's naive and easy to understand
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Rant. Always start debugging with the start point :p
We have a lamp with a dimmer.
A day, the dimmer make some noisy noise. Just down it and the lamp never bright again.
I open the dimmer, check all connection, bullshit what is wrong?
I decide to bypass the dimmer with a standard interrupter. But doesn’t work.
Finally.... I check the bulb 💡 and... burned...
Morality: if the bulb doesn’t work, check the bulb!
:p9 -
Using JavaScript... (we combine JS and c++ and I love c++ ... definitely not JS)
It is such a mess to maintain and work with and I never had any propensity or interest towards web development.. especially JS10