my reactions when my pm announced that we won't be supporting IE8 any more

Well someone messed up.

let's play a game... ;)

Want to learn programming in a single night :|

Seriously ???

:||

That moment when you resolve a bug you have been working on all morning long!

Xcode ✅
Apple Development Subscription ✅
Spare time ✅
Ideas for apps ❌

the different between responsive and non-responsive style

*You can't make this shit up*

Recruiter: Hi, I saw your profile on LinkedIn and I think I have a great programmer opportunity for you today! Can you tell me a little bit about your experience?

Me: Sure, I mostly work with JavaScript and C# and have several years of experience in designing, developing, and deploying enterprise-level applications in production environments.

Recruiter: Hmm, um OK. Have you ever created programs using InDesign or Microsoft Word?

Me: Excuse me?

Recruiter: You know, anything like pamphlets or event brochures?

Me: Are you talking about physical paper programs such as those that accompany events/conferences?!

Recruiter: Yes! What else would I be taking about?

Me: I'm in the software development industry, so I thought you were talking about programming in that context.

Recruiter: Oh no! Those positions are for the men, sweety. I mean, I wouldn't expect any women to know that other techy stuff...

*Hangs up*

The best captcha

When you first start learing development patterns on Java

That moment when you eliminate more than 100 lines of code

God Damnit just name the fucking interface one thing and stop changing it every single time you check in. I don't care if you call it IGeorge at this point as long as it's still the same thing tomorrow morning you fuck.

When I was first hired, I coded all day long and all was right with the universe. Then I got promoted. now all I do is attend meetings, grant access, and review other people's code. I need a demotion.

Dev Card Deck.. WoOt!?

You know you have hired a Python programmer do Java when .....

Backend programmer

And left the bar alone.

When a co-worker casually tells another co-worker "We're going to have so many merge conflicts"

Client: we love Internet Explorer, can you show me how the best way to use it?

Me:
Step 1: Open Internet Explorer

Step 2: Search & download Chrome.

Step 3: Close Internet Explorer

Step 4: Move Internet explorer to the bin.

Step 5: Never talk about using Internet Explorer again.

Spending more time grooming a user story than it will take to implement.

Well that's right!

How do you comfort a JavaScript bug?
> You console it

Finishing code - 1 day

Waiting for Business to get you the files you need for an import - 3 decades

I have seen something similar! 😂

We are all wizards

When you are trying to cut back on coffee but realize you picked the wrong career for that

Implementing Slack in the company really helped improve general communication between the two offices.. That was until we were told not to use it because there's a 10,000 message history limit on the free version and 'important documentation' was being lost... FML

I am all for implementing it

Client: Can you build me a custom Wordpress site to look like this WordPress template..
Me: Sure, but why not buy the rights to the template?
Client: I want it custom.
Me: what do you want custom?
Client: the content on all the pages. The template is all in french or something.
Me: kills self.

#truth