Thinking about switching jobs...

Do you prefer working in a smaller startup sized company, a bigger more settled one, or as a consultant?

Yes, next language added to my CV

USE THE FUCKING MEME CATEGORY.

THANK YOU!

Stayed up late enough last night that the cat decided to go to bed without me. 😭

SCRUMS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE 15 MINUTES, NOT FUCKING 1.5 HOURS

People who like hearing themselves talk shouldn't be in charge of meetings. We can't get the work done if you keep having meetings to talk about us getting the work done.

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If only.....

😂😂😂😂

Your move, human...

Sublime in the watch.

i'm sick of working for others, i want to start my own company, i want to be a billionaire

Got myself one of these stress balls.

Found the value of infinity ∞.

Missed my bus by 20 seconds 👍

No captions needed

I find it ironic that some python devs hate on nodejs because of npm modules. But then go ahead and create a virtual environment for every new python project.

Stop fighting for gender equality,
Start fighting for render equality!!!

~CSS Devs.

Guy called in:

Guy: hello, i can't seem to login to the sql database, could you check if the ip whitelist went right? It's on the *names server* server.
Me: *checks if guy is calling from an authorized number* - nope.
Me: I'm sorry but you're not calling from an authorized number so I can't check that for you!
Guy: no you don't understand. I don't want any of this not-authorized bullshit, I just want a solution for this right now.
Me: and I just want you to call from an authorized number.

Yeah, I actually said that. He wasn't very happy 😅

I'm still employed by the way 🤣

When I was an intern, I wrote a very heavy MySQL query with multiple joins. Quite frustrated, I asked for some help from one of my seniors.

He came by on my desk and told me, "Explain your query!".

I was completely blank-faced O_O.

After a few moments, the senior grabbed this hopeless bastard's keyboard and typed "EXPLAIN" in the beginning of the query; and then ran it.

I thought he was being hard to me.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Carrying my fucking team each and every fucking time...

Who the fuck hires wix developers ?

Do you need someone to drag and drop for you?

All these values are currency.
I smell trouble here 🙄

Had a customer on the phone who couldn't figure something out. Wanted to give him instructions so I asked him whether he used mac or windows (getting used to not including Linux in that question). His reply: uhm this has a weird name... do you know elementary os?

Me: you're a Linux user?!
Him: yes, I'm done with windows and mac.

Then i gave him the instructions. Nice twist of the day!

I fucking hate printers.

when your boss tells you they hired you just to save money, and the job should actually be done by a team of intermediate/senior devs, but they thought one junior dev could do it in the same time span

Goddamit! Why does hitting Ctrl+Y in android studio is set to delete a line by default? Shouldn't it be redo? Who the fuck designed it? Thank God I can reassign keyboard shortcuts in android studio.

Got an interview invitation from HR.

Accepted it without looking at the interviewee's profile (rookie mistake).

Finally looked at his profile. He was 5 times, 5 times more experienced than me. Had a STRONG resume.

Was under pressure a lot of pressure. I realized I was not at all suitable for being this guys interviewer.

Just one good thing. It was his first round and was going to be a telephonic round after which we were going to fly him down.

Clock ticked 6. Time for interview. More nervousness.

Called him. Guy picked up. Introduced myself. In a calm voice he says, he is busy with a very critical bug. Can we reschedule?

Now this will generally piss me off. But this time I was relieved 😅

tfw...

• dude chews you out for broken code
• wait patiently for dude to finish
• head on down to "git blame" town
• show him that _he_ was the author of said broken code
• tell dude to take a seat

🤫🤫🤫