— hi, how’s it hanging?
— a little bit to the left bro, why?

My anxiety runs on an event loop:
while(alive) { overthink(); }
What’s your callback function to escape the void?
(Mine’s () => { orderDumplings(); })

My wife went to do some work for a charity. They "got her the best computer available". It was a poor mangled MacBook whose better days were somewhere in the dawn of the last decade.
She tries to type anything... and only gibberish appears on screen.

She comes to me, absolutely me puzzled. I try to type anything... gibberish. I boot up in safe mode, everything is OK.

I look around for system configs... there is a custom keyboard mapping enabled by default.
We check the weird stains on the keyboard... they are regular and in all keys. Like if there used to be adhesive stickers on the keys, and those stickers were later removed.

I boot up again... and type "q". It becomes "a". I type "w". It becomes "b". I dread typing "e". Sure as bug, it becomes "c".
By the love of byte, someone asked for a custom keyboard layout... IN FUCKING ALPHABETICAL ORDER.

It was easy enough to change the layout after that, but the weirdness continues: my wife asked around, and apparently the laptop used to belong to some old dude... who was convinced there were characters missing from his keyboard. Apparently he could never find them in a regular QWERTY layout.

I wish I could give some encouraging words for the kid who came up with the solution. Working around technophobes is a drying art, that needs to be rewarded.

I am so fucking salty today.
I've had multiple tight deadlines overlapping with the crescendo one where I did 90% of the implementation including helping another company implement some stuff on their side as well as coordinating multiple parties with lots of twists and turns. We barely delivered on time. Contract is worth 10 million.

There was cake to celebrate the success last week. They didn't even bother telling me. I found out on LinkedIn. I mean I def dont get paid enough but cant even fucking have a slice of cake on the success I created?

Oh fyi I offered to buy some drinks so we could have a little celebration on my costs, just you know like have 2 beers and some snacks nothing grand. It was shut down the only way it was allowed was if I paid for the whole company to have drinks. Seriously these people be out of touch I cant pay for 300+ people ..

I regret talking shit about my coworker because despite being not a great programmer, he is a nice human being, and at the end of the day, this is what matters.

How do you mentally check out and stop caring at a toxic job?

Been at this big fintech for 4 months. Small teams, impossible deadlines, undefined tasks, missing specs, constant context switching. Everyone's doing overtime/weekends while management sets you up to fail then blames you. Performance evaluations every 3 months.

Was literally about to quit tomorrow but need the paycheck. So I'm turning this into an experiment - I'm a recovering people-pleaser who's never set boundaries at work. 9 years in my career, never been fired, I left multiple times due to burnout in the past.

Time to see what happens when I stop caring about pleasing incompetent managers and their made-up deadlines. Work at my own pace until they get tired of me. How do you actually do this though?

- How to not give into false sense of urgency induced stress?
- Ask for proper specs without feeling guilty?
- Work slower and not hate yourself for it?
- Push back on unrealistic expectations?

I'm burned out and need to learn how to be strategically as mediocre as possible for my own sanity.

Anyone been through this mindset shift?

Running is good for sleep. I wish my lungs weren't fucked, but I ran anyway.

using a built-in terminal in vscode instead of your custom dedicated one is like buying your phone from a carrier. Or like marrying your first gf/bf and living with them together without ever trying to date someone else first. Or getting your sprite from mcdonalds.

when you donate your body to science in the US, it may legally be used as a dummy to test weapons.

For fuck's sake, management is now asking us to provide data converted in % as to how genAI is actually making us more efficient as developers. How the fuck do you even measure that empirically?

It is already BS enough that they track how much we query these AI tools everyday in our development environments, but now they want genAI to produce most of the code templates in our SDK. It can barely produce a working regex or a working python script, let alone a small piece of code that won't stack overflow itself into oblivion. It sometimes takes more time to debug and refactor than to do it myself from scratch.

They ask for our professional opinion, we tell them, they don't give a fuck about it, proceed to think all is rainbows and unicorns, and still ask us the same moronic things as if they were the new messiah's on earth.

Don't get me wrong, genAI can be useful, but why the fuck does management think it will magically solve all our problems when they don't even understand how it works even on the surface.

The only thing that would make sense is a lot of them got money at stake in some AI investment sales pitch bullshit and they try to jam it up our collective throats because otherwise they will loose their investments like there is no tomorrow.

Fuck all of this, I just want to do engineering and build something useful to society. Is it too much to ask?

The difference between my CSS and your CSS is that you write z-index: 999999, and I write z-index: 2 to get the same effect.

I miss being a real C++ programmer. Gonna have to make something over Christmas.

@anyone hating on Rust I bet you won't be talking shit after seeing some 10x developer rust code 😤 https://github.com/rust-lang/rust/...

When your resume looks like a high school project...
But then you get a resume writer, and it’s suddenly a masterpiece!

Hello World!!

This is a message to all “yes man” developers:

Yeah… we just got in that the client has new requirements for you to complete by EOD:

1. Go to the gas station
2. Buy two gallons of gasoline
3. Order two 2 ft long dildos online
4. Go to the center of your town
5. Scream “fuck me corporate daddy, I’ll do anything for you” 100 times
6. Shove one dildo into ur ass and one in your mouth
7. Pour gasoline all over yourself
8. Light yourself on fire
9. Contemplate what little self respect you have for yourself and the rest of the world…

if you find fleas in your house and assume it's the cat, is it racist 🤔

Ended my day today standing in my kitchen trying to cool down after having to deploy unfinished work that has not been properly tested because the business forced us to deploy it. So frustrated and angry.

pay it!

Well, isn't that wonderful?

"Watch what people are cynical about, and one can often discover what they lack " - George Patton

You know how I call all this modern red dot design award chinese shitshow?

Xiaohaus.

I hate when a retard fuckstick user on FuckOverflow gives answer like this:
"I suggest a read of the documentation instead of only hacking around"

IF I'M ASKING A QUESTION IT'S BECAUSE THE fucking doc wasn't clear to me, it was longer than the dick of the horse that fucked your mother, or simply I didn't have the fucking time and I hoped somebody would help me out, you dumb fatherfucker

GENDER DISCRIMINATION! -_-
If you are a GIRL, there's a HIGH chance for you to win the Hackathon. If you are a BOY, well... :|

I find it annoying when non-tech savvy people criticize the Parler devs for using AWS because "it's Amazon they had it coming", I don't know the devs or company behind that website, I've never used it, but wtf man do you have any idea what's involved in building, deploying and maintaining a platform like that or any other similar? ffs you would barely be able to write an HTML blog by yourself and you dare judge devs for using AWS. fuck off.

I agree with the sentiment, it sucks, if my platform was removed from AWS I probably would keep it that way because I don't have the money to afford the hardware nor am I somewhere that's readily available and that's what is really sad it would suck that just because Amazon doesn't like you or you don't have the influence to fight it you and your userbase can go fuck off. Very bad precedent, it is discouraging.

Let's say you have a business that is 100% gonna get canceled from lots of internet infrastructure services because reasons. Let's say you decided "Screw it. I'm gonna build all my own infrastructure and services from the ground up and deliver all my digital content to millions, including broadband video, apps, gaming, devices, etc."

A) Is that even remotely possible?
B) If money were no object and time were not of the essence, how would you do it?
C) How could that even scale at all if thousands of other businesses did the exact same thing?