Professional deformation is when you accidentally type "node" instead of "Netflix" in the browser's address bar. And don't get disappointed.

Was looking at a site with my boyfriend on his phone and after a few minutes he set his phone down and started feeling my forehead and cheeks like i had a fever.
I asked him what he was doing and he said "are you sick? You havent spotted anything wrong with this website. You should be raising hell over a menubar or something by now".

....

"Sweetheart this is a Wix site. Its better to just keep my mouth shut this time"

"Simplicity will stand out, while complexity will get lost in the crowd." - Kevin Barnett

😂😂😂
(I hope people dont find it offensive to post it here... Like if you do, let me know in the comments I'll delete the post in that case)

"If I want to get hired to do something, I should already be doing it." - Trent Walton

Apple’s new iPhone lineup has confusing names:

- iPhone extra regular liquid liquid crystal display
- iPhone extra small
- iPhone extra small maximum

A chance

i'm a full-stackoverflow developer 🌚

I am an I.T Admin currently responsible for the URS, Validation, oversight of outsourced development and deployment of a new application for our company...

I've been saying once a week now for 2 fucking months that this thing will be ready to deploy at the end of the week.

With enough technical knowledge I know the hell business people put developers through, the lack of contextual understanding of the Job between the two sides is insane.

(I mean holy shit when you tab through various fields, even that ordering needs to be explicitly programmed.)

I refuse to put the pressure on our devs that I am told too, I cant submit a request and phone ten minutes later to ask if itll be done today, people plan their lives, the devs have other clients and projects... what the mother of fuck makes us so special that they must drop everything.

On top of that all the testing I do over and over and over and over reveals some pretty huge operational risks and I keep making changes so as to not blow up the operations of half our company.

I am not saying my boss is horrible or anything but Holy Hell, most people just can't put themselves in someone else's shoes for five short minutes

I try to please my boss while trying to protect my devs from abuse and sadly it results in me being in the middle of two sides playing tug of war and it is ripping me apart...

Why can't people just be more understanding and communicate and understand better... But don't worry all you beautiful game changing, world improving devs... I will always have your back

Hell yeah !!!

They leave shitty code unfinished module for me to get done!

I better write from zero for the entire module!

Fuck off!!!

Makes sense

Go out for smoke to think about my task..

While smoking, open dev rant and start posting 😁😁

Fuck the task !!!

I'm very very lucky today! I got 2 down votes on stack overflow, but still got the solution.

I was too lazy to download videos one by one so I created a script to download playlists and rename the downloaded files !

FUCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKK.....I'm soooooooooooooo bored.

I'm a contractor, been here 2 months, yet to write any code. All I do is WhatsApp and devRant.

Siigggghhhhh, someone shoot me.

Wanted to give a demo of a web project in college but didn't want to carry the laptop and set it up again since I use my desktop primarily.

Just run ngrok on desktop... note the link and you can give a demo from any corner of the world!!

My cat reads all my files

"Hackers don’t need idea people when they are the idea people." - Marc Grabanski

A really sad story.

Dear fanboys (and probably past and I hope not future me),

Just because I use alternative product doesn’t mean you can attack me personally. And because you use some service/product doesn’t mean it’s automatically fitting for all people or it’s perfect and doesn’t have any cons.
Just because you use X thing and you’re happy with it (which is perfectly OK), doesn’t mean I can’t be perfectly happy with Y thing.
Imagine if only legal haircut was yours favorite. Wouldn’t be that boring if everyone wore exact same haircut? That’s like some 1984 shit.
I’m not saying that criticizing things is bad - it’s great actually, but in civilized way.
Don’t attack a person using something and automatically assume that they are an idiots, but rather point out why that something is bad.

And please, be different. If you’re happy with that phone which you use, don’t go buy a new one just because someone told you that your current one is bad without pointing out why.

Sincerely,
Athlon

No one is gonna care anyways...

I'm tutoring multiple courses in my school, including CCNA 1, html, JavaScript, IT essentials which is just an introduction to particles of a computer.
[Student]: So do you know that course about computers?
[Me]: mhm.....they all are kinda...you mean it essentials?
[Student]:Yes! The one where we type code between tags, right?
[Me]:Wait....html?
[Student]:Yes!
[Me]: yes, I am helping with that course.
[Student]: Oh cool...so how do I do thumbnails?
[Me]: /Opens the IDE/ same as a regular image except for it's a link that opens a bigger version of an image /blah blah blah/. You know how to insert the image on the page, right?
[Student]: Don't we just open the Google and search images?
[Me]:...
[Me]:....
[Me]:...omg my shift is over...

I wish I was making it up.

"The best an idea gets is when it’s in your head." - Woody Allen

i wonder why they rounded the d over the i

2 junior programmers doing code review for each other

"One can steal ideas, but no one can steal execution or passion." - Tim Ferriss

I found an old project on which I hadn't version controlled, so I decided to manually commit progress on a past date. Only problem GitHub calendar wouldn't show it.

I emailed them and because it was private repo I added them as contributor. Then I got this reply.

I gave lift to an old man. Starting the conversation
He: what do you do?
Me: I am a software engineer
He: Nice....... where do you get the material to build a software?
Me: mmmmm google or stackoverflow
He: maybe they are new in market, never heard of them

I have NEVER had a trust issues with a hard-working developer. It is always good to have someone you know would move heaven and earth to solve a problem, if demanded. It was a privilege to have worked with a handful of them.

PS: If your team doesn't have one such, either be one or change the team/company!

"The ability to change on a dime is one thing small teams have by default that big teams can never have. This is where the big guys envy the little guys. What might take a big team in a huge organization weeks to change may only take a day in a small, lean organization. That advantage is priceless." - Andrew Hunt

DevOps is less of Dev and more of Ops. #FML