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LocationLisbon, Portugal
Joined devRant on 5/30/2017
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Developer superstition, never say something is easy, fast or straightfoward.
It will take weeks to develop, months to test and debug and you will consider change jobs just to stay away of that code8 -
User: "I emailed my spreadsheet to a colleague. Why can't I see their updates in mine?"
Please just kill me now.16 -
Did I ever tell you kids about the time I worked for a company that got a contract to develop an iOS application around some object detection software that had been developed by another team?
Company I was working for was a tiny software consultancy, and this was my first ever dev job (I’m at my second now 😅). Nobody at the company has experience building mobile applications but CEO decides that the app should be written in React Native because _he_ knows React Native.
During a meeting with the client, CEO jokes about how easy the ask is and says he could finish it in a weekend. Please note that Head of Engineering had already budgeted a quarter for the work. CEO says we can do it in a week! And moves up the deadline. And only assigns two engineers to project. I am not one of those engineers.
The two engineers that are put on it struggle. A lot. They can’t seem to get the object detection to work at all, and the code that’s already written is in Objective-C. I realize one of the issues is that the engineers on the project can’t read Objective-C because they have no experience with Objective-C or even C. I have experience with C, so I volunteer to take a look at it to try to see what’s going on.
Turns out the problem is that the models are trained on one type of image format and the iPhone camera takes images in a different format.
The end of the week comes, they do not succeed in figuring out the image conversion in React Native. There’s an in-person demo with the customers scheduled for the next Monday. CEO spends the weekend trying to build the app. Only succeeds in locking literally every other engineer out of the project.
They manage to negotiate a second chance where we deliver what we were supposed to deliver at the original schedule.
I spent the weekend looking up how to convert images and figure it would be a lot easier to interface with the Objective-C if we used Swift. Taught myself enough Swift over the weekend to feel dangerous. Spoke to Head of Engineering on Monday and proposed solution — start over in Swift. Volunteer to lead effort. Eventually convince them it’s a good idea (and really, what’s the worst that can happen? If this solves our main problem at the moment, that’s still more progress than the original team made)
Spend the next week working 16 hour days building out application. Meet requirements for next deadline. Save contract.
And that’s ONE of the stories of my first dev job that got me hired as a senior engineer despite only having 10 months of work experience in the industry.11 -
Woohooo, I'm going to Tokyo!
Our paper was accepted to a robotics conference. We have the pleasure of playing with tiny drones, and we get paid and rewarded for it!
(The girl in the video is my amazing collaborator, Hanna)
https://youtube.com/watch/...15 -
A coworker just died. He wasn't even 50.
Everyone make sure you're keeping your stress in check, and prioritizing your health. Go get that thing checked out you've been putting off.
This career is lucrative but it has its toll. Make sure you're taking time away.30 -
docker documentation is terrible. Mf'ers seem allergic to giving actual functional examples.
Watch me generate a 1-to-1 copy of the docker compose docs (real & true):
`docker compose --help > docs.html`11 -
Once, I overheard a conversation between my former PM and a client during a phone call.
Client: I will send the final draft of the project by Thursday.
PM: That's great to hear!
Client: When can I expect the updates to review the changes after the draft is sent? I need to present it at a meeting this weekend.
PM: It should be ready by Friday without fail!
Client: Excellent! Thank you. I will be expecting it.
PM: Sure, goodbye.
(After the call, PM joined the team.)
PM: So, team, the client for Project-A will be sending us a new draft for review and updates. They are putting a lot of pressure on us and need it to be ready by Friday at the latest. We need to treat this with a sense of urgency.
(After hearing this, we felt compelled to respond.)
Me: There's no way they would expect us to deliver an unseen draft within a day. Both the backend and Figma team members were forced to work last weekend, on Saturday, because you mentioned that Project B was behind schedule and the client needed an update by Monday. We simply can't continue working like this.
Backend guy 2: I also worked last Sunday on Project B.
Me: We overheard you telling the client that they should expect an update by Friday. It seems like you're the one directly putting the team under pressure, even though we still have three ongoing projects with tight deadlines.
(The office fell into an uncomfortable silence.)
(PM left the office without saying a word.)
Later on, I heard that he contacted the client to reschedule the expected time of arrival (ETA) after receiving the draft.5 -
Story from my friend who I drank a beer with yesterday:
His manager has balls bigger than elefants.. Hiring a group of anarcho kinda pentest / hacker fucks from a freelance portal from Serbia... Who found quite some shit in their internal systems.
You should think twice about paying them late and especially paying them only half the amount. Even though "they wouldn't sue them anyway".
Sure, they won't.
But take a smart guess what they did.
Fuckin idiot manager.6 -
My CTO told the COO and CEO i'd be finished SOC2 compliance by the end of December... On December 14th.
It takes 3 months to do the audit, let alone all the actual work. I hadn't even started yet.
He was fired shortly after that.6 -
The most unrealistic deadline? Okay, here it goes. For context, this is one of my earliest jobs, and I’m actively using React.
— Kiki, I have a stunning idea! Let’s build a Figma clone!
— Okaaaay, 🧐
— You have two days.
— A what?
— I’ve just stumbled upon an amazing new technology. You maybe don’t know it yet. It’s called React.js, and you totally can build a full Figma clone in two days using it!
— …
— It’s a revolution, and you’re so ignorant for not following it. Are you even a real engineer?
— …
Two days later:
— Forget about Figma! Let’s build an online DAW for musicians!
That guy was nuts. I left when we had an executive meeting, I was explaining tech things, and he suddenly popped out a fucking tambourine and started striking it. One year later, he lost everything and went to get a junior C++ position at an outsourcing company.6 -
Manager: "If you need me, just @ me"
Me: "Can you look at this right now?"
Manager: "Sorry I'm at a tennis match, I'll be 30mins"
3 hours later
Manager: "Do you still need me?"
...
Me: "A device died. Playbook says we have to flash it and lose all data on it, but we could go to the vendor for a solution if their fast enough. I just need you to make the call to deviate"
Manager: "Uggghhh" (goes offline for 2 hours)
Wtf man?!11 -
This Monday, I have become a father.
It's a boy and he is awesome, in perfect health. We, as a couple could not be happier about that.
His name is Cyrus, named after Cyrus the second , the great.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...
However, all our happiness is overshadowed by a major blow.
My love of my life, the mother of my child, has been diagnosed with breast cancer , right before the labor.
We are in a rollercoaster right now and are torn between happiness and despair. Hard to deal with.
This is one of those things I am unable to manage with my knowledge and expertise. I can't just "configure cancer away". There is no flag that I can set as "absent" or "false".
Today we're going to hear what the strategy will be to battle this monstrosity. We're bracing ourselves for the worst.22 -
TeamLeader: I need you to stop disagreeing with the decision of the management, the people in there are taking their decision for a reason.
IHateForALiving: When integration tests were failing, the management decided to comment out the ingration tests; god knows how many bugs slipped by.
When users had problems with the idiotic migration process the management designed, the management decided to remove down migrations; it took two weeks before the QA team started screaming, as all their machines were filled with garbage data.
I was writing type definitions for my code, you removed it. You effectively ensured the only person capable of working on that particular piece of code would be me.
I have been proposing for 8 months to make a unified scheduled jobs system, you all decided to create at least 5 different -and incompatible- implementations, at least 4 of them are total garbage with setTimeout, there's no way to ever unify them and God willing they never break, if they do there's NO WAY to find out even where tf they're hidden in the code.
Every time you were making one of those bad decision I was the only one warning you of the problems you were creating. The idiotic change of the day is going MongoDB+Angular: I can keep a low profile if you want, but when this blows up you can be damn well sure I'll handle my 2 weeks notice because there's no way on earth I'll be stuck with the aftermath of you lot taking technical decisions you are clearly unable to manage.11 -
Guys, when you have to manually edit records in the prod DB, please at least make sure that your overweight cat isn't rolling around on the keyboard...8
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we switched from GitHub to BitBucket and I saw my colleague try to run `bit status` because they thought GitHub = git so BitBucket = bit.
Had a good chuckle seeing that.9 -
The guy who became my manager just pushes to the prod branch.
On a repo where another team clearly set up development and production branches.
This guy has been pushing code like crazy and I always wanted to take my time setting things up properly in our team: TDD, CI/CD, etc.
Because he pushed so much he became my manager and I was seen as unproductive.
Data Science and software development best practices just dont coexist it seems.
Yeah yeah, it's up to me to start introducing good practices, but atm "getting it done" takes priority over the real based shit.4 -
!dev
I gained 20+ kilos during covid.
By now I have lost about 19 of those. And no, I didn't do any specific sports or diet. I lost them via ✨anxiety✨.
And yes, I am naturally skinny.
I still have a good 20 to lose to be back at my ""usual"" weight tho. ✌️ (Gained those thanks to depression, hormonal disorder, and related meds)28 -
I received a ticket today that said
"The customer can access the app fine if they're at their home, but when they occasionally go to the desert they can't access the app"
You can't make this stuff up.
Someone please kill me.14 -
Our most senior and most competent backend developer got fired, he got told he "wasn't committed enough". This dude did the most complex tasks really quickly (and competently), could configure the most boring stuff off the top of his mind, and brought great culture to the company from his previous 20+ years of experience. He was about to implement some cool automation stuff, and improved our processes a great deal.
Now he's being let go. I was fearing *I* would get fired because I'm much slower and less knowledgeable than this guy.
When I talked to him, he figured the so-called "lack of commitment" was because he had missed a few standups the last few days, and got late to today's standup.
Now the boss (who is a less experienced than this dev who was let go, but co-founder of the company) was changing the database credentials (which we somehow have access to) and had the product down for like half an hour because of it.
I don't think firing this developer was a wise decision at all, and that's putting it generously. What a shame. Now I'm also a bit scared because the responsibilities of this developer might likely fall upon me. But generally I think we're worse off without this guy, and getting someone as good as him will take time.19 -
> Best part about working from home?
"People don't give me as much shit for having a wank during standups" - not me, but I wish it was7 -
Best part of working from home? Oh boy, here I go
1. NO COMMUTE !! Fuck public transport. I can just grab my laptop straight to my bed, get comfortable and work in whatever posture I wish to.
2. Relaxation and peace of mind. The local park, library, football ground. I can go anywhere to get work done. All I need is my phone and laptop.
3. Better food - I can cook my own food. Dieting actually works by eating home-made food and not the fried bullshit we eat outside.
4. No office politics - Remote working means you don't have to think about being a circle and getting liked or not. Get your work done and that's it.
5. No "Extra" Activities - We all know HRs are just bored af people making employees have "fun" activities just to push a "culture" agenda on LinkedIn. Umm no thanks.
6. No toxicity - Well, this one is a doozie, you don't get workplace toxicity but you do get home toxicity. People assuming that you stay in ur room all day and do nothing. I'd still take home toxicity though.
7. If there is no work, I don't have to pretend that I am working and hiding my screen from my boss. I can just play video games in that time.
8. Option to start a side-hustle. You have more chances to retain some energy after your shift to start investing/putting time into something that can make you extra cash.
9. Worldwide opportunities - Because of WFH, I work with clients from Netherlands, Estonia, London and Cayman Islands. It never would have happened if I was in an office job.
10. Only work, no extra bullshit - be it smoke breaks, casual tea, conferences, work summits etc. None of that and I don't want it.
11. Your errands get done - Need to go to the dentist at 10 am? You can do that. Need to pick up your kid at 3 pm? You can do that. You need 5 pm time dedicated to go the gym? You can do that.
In conclusion, I absolutely vouch for WFH and would never take WFO for as long as possible.
WFH FTW !!!9 -
Saturday morning:
Notification on WhatsApp from my new boss: hello, I sent you a message on Skype because the data is not good and I had to send it to the customer yesterday.
Go to Skype: hello, I am out all weekend. If you checked the data when I handed it out I could have figured out a solution. I will check when I am back.
Logout from Skype
Block number on WhatsApp
Block incoming calls on phone3