client: i want to make an e-commerce site.
.
.
developer: how much are you willing to spend?
client: i'm on a tight budget, as cheap/low as possible.
.
.
web development on a budget y'all :------)

This feels better than good grades.

Nice...

SLOC is the shittiest metric to exist.

If you're in software management, know that any of the numbers you've ever received (from me or anyone) for SLOC count are totally worthless.

"How many lines of code do you think you'll need to write to finish those features"?

"100000000000000"

Storage issues...😂😂

Looping in kitchen be like

Well, I think it's a great idea.

I will make a Chrome extension that will automatically set the indentation to tabs and the indentation size to 4 (or whatever you specify) in the github editor. Would someone be interested?

My friend and I were watching a documentary about Salmon. He suddenly starts to giggle and I ask him whats up.

Friend: Why do salmon suck at version control?

Me: why?

F: because they always git push force upstream 😂😂😂

Made me laugh so hard.

"You use a Mac. How cute. You must not know anything about computers, Apple fanboy. Windows is far superior."

"Unix, bitch. Fuck you."

#atleastuselinuxffs

*inhales*

OVER 3 BILLION DEVICES RUN JAVA

Got this shirt today 😎 super happy and excited 🤓 I am definitely going to wear this one tomorrow 😀

Credits :
https://reddit.com/r/...

Pretty much 😕

!rant

Jesus, this took so much work...

My university has started Swift lectures but my god their Mac minis are really crappy so I decided I would install Mac on my PC.

How can an operating system take so much fucking work to even boot!

try{
❤️
}catch(){
🍺
}

Writing script to handle fan speed now.

On the himalayas Taking a break :) Wow its beautiful.

- Knock, knock

- An async function

- Who's there?

Mmmokeeey... Can you please decide which one is the problem now?!

When GitHub shows love.

New home set up until I can save a bit more for a better one

Oh wow. That timing though.

Difference between 0 and NULL.

Millennium bug incoming...

Am I the only one that uses chopsticks to eat snacks at the computer?!?

Actual message i got today from a friend: "How to send a GET request with css"

I dont know him anymore

Once upon a time there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the side of a deserted road. Suddenly a brand new Porsche screeches to a halt. The driver, a man dressed in an Armani suit, Cerutti shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses, TAG-Heuer wrist-watch, and a Versace tie, gets out and asks the Shepherd:

Man: “If I can tell you how many sheep you have, will you give me one of them?”

The shepherd looks at the young man, and then looks at the large flock of grazing sheep and replies:

Shepherd: “Okay.”

The young man parks the car, connects his laptop to the mobile-fax, enters a NASA Webster, scans the ground using his GPS, opens a database and 60 Excel tables filled with logarithms and pivot tables, then prints out a 150 page report on his high-tech mini-printer. He turns to the shepherd and says,

Man: “You have exactly 1,586 sheep here.”

The shepherd cheers,

Shepherd: “That’s correct, you can have your sheep.”

The young man makes his pick and puts it in the back of his Porsche. The shepherd looks at him and asks,

Shepherd: “If I guess your profession, will you return my animal to me?”

The young man answers;

Man: “Yes, why not?”

Shepherd: "You are an IT consultant."

Man: “How did you know?”

Shepherd: “Very simple. First, you came here without being called. Second, you charged me a fee to tell me something I already knew, and third, you don’t understand anything about my business…Now can I have my DOG back?"

I was in the airport VIP lounge in route to Seattle a couple of weeks ago. While in there, I noticed Bill Gates sitting comfortably in the corner, enjoying a drink. I was meeting a very important client who was also flying to Seattle, but she was running a little bit late.

Well, being a straightforward kind of guy, I approached the Microsoft chairman, introduced myself, and said, "Mr. Gates, I wonder if you would do me a favor."

"Yes?"

"I'm sitting right over there," pointing to my seat at the bar, "and I'm waiting on a very important client. Would you be so kind when she arrives as to come walk by and just say, 'Hi, Ray,'?"

"Sure."

I shook his hand and thanked him and went back to my seat.

About ten minutes later, my client showed up. We ordered a drink and started to talk business.

A couple of minutes later, I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was Bill Gates.

"Hi, Ray," he said.

I replied, "Get lost Gates, I'm in a meeting."