I are programmer....😁😁

And it also not matter if some of them are men

Just had another Web developer tell me that HTML hasn't really been used since the 90s?

Client asks me to implement pie chart on webpage. Sum of figures supplied amounts to > 100%. Pointing out discrepancy I request the correct figures, only to be told that the figures are correct. Very well. One week passes. Receive email from client: "The figures for this chart are wrong, they total > 100%, here are the correct figures...". *Sigh*.

Good news everyone. As of 30th June 2018, PCI compliance demands a minimum of TLS v1.1. Meaning it's illegal for your website to support IE6-10

When the Sales team fucks up something, they point finger at each other for the blame.

When the Dev Team fucks up something, as a Senior Developer I say to my Boss that we fucked it up no matter whose fault it is and we will fix it up by x time.

When the SysAdmin team fucks. The Dev Team is to blame.

Sorry guys, I got a bit frustrated. All our servers wasn't backed up from last week and the SysAdmin guys are saying it's our fault.

What the fuck is going on? fuck you fuck fuck fuck fuck...

So I guess my debug pet is the most powerful of all. I meant Totoro on right.

// The pig was just there to remind me of few stuffs.

True Story
Happens everytime coz new programmers don't have the patience to read old answers and try to understand them.

I have been programming for 1.5 years and I never needed to ask a single question.

This happened few hours ago.

Client: I received an email which says that I won 1 million dollars. They gave me a link in the email, when I entered my credit card details nothing happened.
Me: Wait what? You entered your credit card details.
Client: Yes
Me: That was a scam, you didn’t win anything. They stole your credit details. Contact your bank ASAP and let them know about this.
Client: You guys are handling our email servers, why can’t you guys keep it safe. What type of security do you guys provide.
Me: Wait what? We host your website application not email.
Client: Damn it. My son said the same thing, but I didn’t listen to him. Anyways Cheers.

Boss: Here's the next project that I would you to start immediately.
Me: So the client wants <Application Name>
Boss: Yes and it's due on Friday after 2 weeks.
Me: Yes can be done. By what time today you can give me the requirements.
Boss: Not today, I will give you the requirements next week Friday.
Me: So I should start the project next week Friday.
Boss: You have to start the project today
Me: Start with what? There is no requirement. Excuse me, I need a break.

Noticed friends smartphone was unlocked & Felt like pulling a prank, so I installed edge and set it as default.

Soooo.. Couldn't figure out why the db weren't working..

Our new intern dropped it..

he might be one of us.

full video (James Veitch Is A Terrible Roommate - CONAN on TBS) can be seen on youtube
- http://ow.ly/fr8R30gOfUs

Can machine learning kill my boss ?

"Amazon EC2 now offers Microsoft SQL Server 2017 with Red Hat Enterprise Linux 7.4"

Rule 34 ½: For every programming problem, there is already related XKCD, StackOverflow question and indian guy explaining it on YouTube. <3