Seeing this new icon makes me want to go back to 2008 with the shopping bag icon. Those were better days.

What it's like to be a network engineer...translated into normal people speak

User: I think we are having a major road issue.

Me: What? No, I just checked, the roads are fine. I was actually just on the roads.

User: No, I’m pretty sure the roads are down because I’m not getting pizzas.

Me: Everything else on the roads is fine. What do you mean you aren’t getting pizzas?

User: I used to get pizzas when I ordered them, now I’m not getting them. It has to be a road issue.

Me: As I said, the roads are fine. Where are you getting pizzas from?

User: I’m not really sure. Can you check all places that deliver pizzas?

Me: No I don’t even know all the places that deliver pizza. You need to narrow it down.

User: I think it is Subway.

Me: Okay, I’ll check…No, I just looked and Subway doesn't deliver pizzas.

User: I’m pretty sure it is Subway. Can you just allow all food from Subway and we can see if pizza shows up?

Me: Sigh, fine I’ve allowed all food from Subway, but I don’t think that is the issue.

User: Yeah I’m still not getting pizza. Can you check the roads?

Me: It’s not the roads, the roads are fine. I’m pretty sure Subway isn’t the place.

User: Okay, I found it. It’s Papa Johns.

Me: Okay, I looked and Papa Johns does deliver pizza. Is it the local Papa Johns or one in a different town?

User: I don’t know. Can you allow pizza from all Papa Johns to me?

Me: No I can’t do that. Can you get me an address for Papa Johns?

User: No, I only know it as Papa Johns. Can you get me all the addresses of all Papa Johns and I’ll tell you if one of them is correct?

Me: No, I don’t have time for that. Okay, I looked at the local one and it looks like they have sent you pizza in the past and they are currently allowed to send you pizzas. Try ordering a pizza while I watch.

User: Yeah still no pizza. I’m guessing they are getting blocked at the freeway. Can you check the freeway to make sure they can get through?

Me: No, this is a local delivery. They aren't even using the freeway.

User: Okay, well then it has to be a road issue.

Me: No, the roads are fine. Okay, I just drove from the Papa Johns to the address they have on file for you and there is nothing there.

User: Hmm, wait we did move recently.

Me: Did you give your new address to Papa Johns?

User: No, I just thought they would be able to look me up by name.

Me: No they need your new address. What’s your new address?

User: I’m not really sure. Can you look it up?

Me: Sigh, give me a second…Okay, I found your address and gave it to Papa Johns. Try ordering a pizza now.

User: HEY! PIZZA JUST SHOWED UP!

Me: Okay, good.

User: (To everyone else they know) I apologize for the delay in the pizza but there was a major road issue that was preventing the pizza from getting to me. The network engineer has fixed the roads and we are able to get pizza again.

Me: But it wasn’t the roads…whatever.

User: Oh, can you also check on an issue where Chinese food isn’t getting to me? I think it may be a road issue

Non-smoker coffee lover. Who's with me?

😂😂😂😂😂😂

I once set a customers server on fire.
Litterally.
I put my laptop ontop of the server rack and the additional heat generated caused blue smoke to fill the room.
The whole building had to be evacuated.
Firetrucks came.
The customer eyeballed me quite a bit after he talked to the firemarshal regarding where the fire had originated.

Starting to feel that devRant is a really nice place to hang out.

Even though we have differences in languages (C#, PHP, JavaScript, JAVA), culture (semi brackets, tabs and spaces) and tools (Sublime, vim, nano, Atom) but we strive to be a better coder by encouraging one another or ranting to blow some steam.

Like seriously guys, you guys are awesome! It feels that I am becoming more human by visiting devRant (or maybe I'm turning into AI).

HOSTEL WOULDN'T NOTIFY ME ON THE MAIL BUT LET SOME MOTHERFUCKER STEAL IT AND LEAVE THE COVER RIGHT THERE 😡
WAITED FIVE FUCKING MONTHS FOR THIS 🤒

When your client takes titles pretty seriously

The only expressions devs have

I was taking some Ms certification courses a while back just for the pieces of paper since I didn't have a college degree. I took their entrance exam and apparently scored in te top 3% so I knew it was going to be a breeze.

I started out sitting near the front of the classroom, but I never really paid attention to the teacher, I worked through the practice book during lectures. This apparently distracted the class because they would come to me for help rather than raise their hand or ask the teacher.

Eventually he pulled me aside on a smoke break and asked what I was doing in his classroom if I already knew what I was doing. I explained the situation and he just laughed. But he did ask me to sit in the back corner quietly and allow him to teach the rest of the class. And I could do my thing until the certification exams.

When you're not creative enough to make a post that would give you some stickers but you have a 3D printer...

How does this look? (Elementary OS with conky)

Once a friend asked me to teach programming to him so I started with basics and hello world. Run the code and printed "hello world" on command line. Then my friend opened a new command prompt typed hello world and told me he can write that without all of the bs and that was the end.

when you want to try VS Code out but can't let go of vim 😅

Focus? Everything.. Downside? Not enough time to get good at everything. It depresses me. I see a language and framework and I Wana learn it and use it but I don't have the time cause I'm too busy coding on another platform. This makes me sad. I wish it were the matrix and I could download all languages syntax and apis into my brain so I could spend less time learning and more time making something significant. Okay okay, my focus is Java/Android with a dash of web

Fuck youtube ads. Thz ublock Origin

The whole world use greek letters in maths. Greeks just only use letters. It has to be horrible to always feel like in a maths class.

tl;dr Yes, we know the standard for RAM is getting higher; no, that doesn't mean you can increase your app's RAM usage for no good reason.

Homemade, terrible comic.

I now feel like a hacker.
Double tap a comment or rant to upvote.
But when you already upvoted, rants will open but comments will do nothing.
Just found out, am I just the one who didn't knew this? Tell me in the comments below!

Just spent 10 minutes debugging because
' “ " and ' " ' are different things.
*sigh

Wait... What?

The doubletab time is so small, it opens the the rant twice when i try to upvote it. 😐

Ok guys n gals, I really need help with this one. I have been offered a position at a company with a nice salary but I really don't feel the company's product, furthermore I think that the industry cut they are working in is one of the most boring ones. Thus taking this job will mean that I will be turning on almost everything I believe. Another thing is that I will have to relocate to a town that I really don't like.

On the plus side the team looks great. Everyone seems really friendly and I am certain that I will gain a lot of experience. Also I'm a recent grad and I've been looking for a position for a couple of months. I know that this looks like a dumb dilemma but for me it's not. I'd really appreciate your advice..

Number zero rule of computer science: Don't calculate pi in binary

When you look back on your github activity and just think "Wow, we have really created something special. This is really going to help the world." It just... It gets me. That's why I do this day in and day out.

So a Redditor decided to inspect element an adult's website. Why am I not surprised

Sometimes the chair might also be a toilet seat.

Source: TechWorm

Boss: I wrote some tests and there is a bug in your code but I cannot find it. Fix it
Me: Sure. I'm on it.

Narrator: 5 minutes later

Me: Boss, I found the bug. It's in your testcode...

Seriously... WTF?!

(before someone suggests that my code should handle all test cases... He tried to measure the time the program needed to response and fucked it up...)

**Web Host Rant**

I can't believe how saturated the market is. I also can't believe how many Web hosts do not know a thing about development. You would think you'd want to read up on development practices before going into the business since developers are your customers.

Not to mention that a lot of hosting services are resellers of resellers of resellers. It's to the point where a 15 year old with their mom's credit card can start doing Web hosting. The problem is... they don't know how to answer actually development questions... they won't be in a conference call with you while you do deployments.

It infuriated me to the point where I've started my own hosting company. Completely managed and using the most advanced technologies aimed towards developers. Not only that but an advanced managment package that will teach proper deployment procedures and be there to hold your hand when you do deploy.

Oh and did I mention git will be available to even shared hosting? Oh and did I also mention that we are currently setting up put own git server?

Whoever is responsible for the responsible for the refund process on airbnb can eat a bunch of dicks, watch me spill all of the fluids over his keyboard and then watch me break every single one of his/her fingers.
How the fuck do you dare to keep all of my money in some kind of internal wallet while I clearly need it to get a hotel after your starrated host left me hanging, autoaccepting but then telling me via phone that he using vacation till Friday... Half a goddamned fucking hour after I tried to call him. I want to report the shit out of this asshole, but no I can't because I cancelled my stay.
For the love of God and his creation is it this hard to punish assholes for ruining my new year and making me freeze my hand and ears of?