Comments it out and flies away..

If you are a salesperson, you can just go straight to hell. You're all a bunch of cocksucking twats and I'm amazed you manage to get yourselves dressed each day. You're a no good fucking waste of oxygen and you need to put your fork in a socket the next time you're eating.

I'm working on building a crm and ticket management system for use in the office to handle client passwords. Since I'm building from scratch I wanted to make sure I had properly planned my classes and functions before opening the code editor so I put a message on my door that says "Don't interrupt, thanks" followed by the date so people knew it was a fresh message and not something left from the previous day.

I'm deep in the zone, the psuedo code and logic is flowing, I'm getting classes planned and feeling really productive for an hour or so when suddenly my door flies open and in comes a sales person.

SP: "Hey, do you have any extra phones lying around? Mine's being slow and keeps hanging up on people."

Me: "Do you see the sign on my door right there at eye level which says not to bother me?"

SP: "oh, do you want me to come back later?"

Me: "You've already interrupted me now, let's go see what's going on before I spent an hour setting up a new phone for you." While we are walking across the office I asked him when the last time the phone rebooted.

SP: "idk, Salesperson#2 suggested that as I was headed over here but I figured I'd just ask you."

We get over to his desk and I see he has two phones sitting on his desk. "Where did this one come from?"

SP: "Oh that was on the desk over here but I figured I could use it."

Me: "Well aside from the fact that the phones are assigned to specific people for a reason, you took the time to unhook your phone to set this one up and you didn't think to reboot your phone first. Plug your phone back in."

He plugs the old phone, which is assigned to him, and while booting it does a quick firmware update and boots up fine. He tests a few things and decides it's all better now.

So someone suggested a fix for you and you decided, instead, you would break company IT policy by moving equipment from one station to another without notifying the IT department. You entered a room which had a closed door without knocking, and you disobeyed the sign on the actual door itself which politely requests that you go away. All because you couldn't be bothered to take 2 minutes and reboot your phone, which you had to do anyways.

You completely broke my train of thought and managed to waste 2 hours of effecient workflow because you had an emergency.

while coding, time flies away toooo damn fast

"Systems open to all, but closed to intruders"

HEY, HP, PACK YOUR WHOLE FAMILY OF TRASH SOFTWARE INTO YOUR TRAILER HOME AND DRIVE IT OFF A CLIFF. WHAT THE __FUCK__ DOES THAT EVEN MEAN YOU LITERAL BLOAT FLIES. HOW ABOUT WE START WITH THE FACT THAT ALL IT TAKES IS ONE DUMB MOTHER FUCKER ANYWHERE IN A COMPANY GIVING AWAY ONE LOGIN IN A SOCIAL ENGINEERING ATTACK TO POP THIS NICE FART FILLED BALLOON YOUR DRUNK SALES AND MARKETING MORON PARADE CAME UP WITH.

STOP FUCKING ADVERTISING ON MR. ROBOT AND LET ME PRETEND IT'S NOT A PRODUCT FOR JUST ONE MOMENT FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

I recently pushed a feature from the runway. Just before takeoff from Amsterdam to Barcelona.

Currently trying to convert a Python (2.7) framework into its C++. Surprise, surprise, the C++ APIs are also all deprecated

"Here's a guide to creating your project using our non-deprecated framework, except it will still call our deprecated methods under the hood"

Additionally, I had to make this framework work with OpenCV, which was complaining about my C++ framework being deprecated and not being able to link to missing modules (which were already installed).
All of this has eaten 4 hours of my life, I could as well throw the laptop out of the window

"Try reinstalling the missing modules separately"
*installation takes less than 1 minute*
*runs build again, everything work*

I'm done for today *flies away in desperation*

I really really hope that no one post this,a friend texted it to me and I wanted to share it because made my day.

Idk where it comes, so feel free if know where this came from to post it:

//FUN PART HERE
# Do not refactor, it is a bad practice. YOLO

# Not understanding why or how something works is always good. YOLO

# Do not ever test your code yourself, just ask. YOLO

# No one is going to read your code, at any point don’t comment. YOLO

# Why do it the easy way when you can reinvent the wheel? Future-proofing is for pussies. YOLO

# Do not read the documentation. YOLO

# Do not waste time with gists. YOLO

# Do not write specs. YOLO also matches to YDD (YOLO DRIVEN DEVELOPMENT)

# Do not use naming conventions. YOLO

# Paying for online tutorials is always better than just searching and reading. YOLO

# You always use production as an environment. YOLO

# Don’t describe what you’re trying to do, just ask random questions on how to do it. YOLO

# Don’t indent. YOLO

# Version control systems are for wussies. YOLO

# Developing on a system similar to the deployment system is for wussies! YOLO

# I don’t always test my code, but when I do, I do it in production. YOLO

# Real men deploy with ftp. YOLO

So YOLO Driven Development isn’t your style? Okay, here are a few more hilarious IT methodologies to get on board with.

*The Pigeon Methodology*
Boss flies in, shits all over everything, then flies away.

*ADD (Asshole Driven Development)*
An old favourite, which outlines any team where the biggest jerk makes all the big decisions. Wisdom, process and logic are not the factory default.

*NDAD (No Developers Allowed in Decisions)*
Methodology Developers of all kinds are strictly forbidden when it comes to decisions regarding entire projects, from back end design to deadlines, because middle and top management know exactly what they want, how it should be done, and how long it will take.

*FDD (Fear Driven Development)*
The analysis paralysis that can slow an entire project down, with developments afraid to make mistakes, break the build, or cause bugs. The source of a developer’s anxiety could be attributed to a failure in sharing information, or by implicating that team members are replaceable.

*CYAE (Cover Your Ass Engineering)*
As Scott Berkun so eloquently put it, the driving force behind most individual efforts is making sure that when the shit hits the fan, you are not to blame.

I feel like time is short.
Things about to get real.
Make sure essentials are stocked.
Stay away from DC.
Get right with whatever you believe in.
Help your neighbor.
I don't have a magic ball.
I don't know if things will be good or bad.
But change is upon on.
Ready or not.
I pray to God he forgives us.
I wish the hardest thing in life was writing code.
I wish the world I was taught about when I was young was the real world.
Maybe if things go well it could be.
Look up, pray, and realize you are not alone.
I shall not fear the dark of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day.
Cheers!

Since the COVID19 outbreak when i'm about to work on some legacy code i always use a mask, since this type of code is in the risk group.

and flies away..... 😂