One of the coolest good bye message I have ever seen in my company...

The code is so clean with proper comments...

"Hi, I'd like to hear a TCP joke."
"Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?"
"Yes, I'd like to hear a TCP joke."
"OK, I will tell you a TCP joke."
"Are you ready to hear a TCP joke?"
"Yes, I am ready to hear a TCP joke."
"OK, I am about to send the TCP joke. It will last 10 seconds, has 2 characters, it does not have a setting, it ends with a punchline."
"OK, I am ready to get the TCP joke that will last 10 seconds, has 2 characters, does not have a setting, and ends with a punchline."
"I'm sorry, your connection has been timed out."
"Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?"

Had an interview in a MNC company.

He: Propose a solution for reading huge logs file like 1 GB and parse errors with today's date.

Me: Gave two solution, one with regex and second with buffering the logs (reason: reading the entire in same shot will cause cpu spike with huge memory consumption) and I fell in love with my second approach. By the way it was on paper.

He: (Without seeing the logic) Your syntax is wrong.

Me: Got frustrated who the hell checks syntax in interview. I asked how may years of experience you have?

He: 10 years.

Me: I don't wanna continue, and I left.

So true !

Machine Learning

The Periodic Table Of Software Engineering

A woman in hot air balloon realized she is lost...

She reduced altitude & shouted to a man below: Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend to meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am.

Man below replied: You are in hot air balloon 30 feet above the ground. You are at 41 degree North latitude & 59 degree West longitude.

Lady: You must be an engineer.

Man: How do you know?

Lady: Everything you told me is technically correct but useless & the fact is I'm still lost.

Engineer: You must be in Top Management.

Lady: Ya. How do you know?

Engineer: You don't know where you are or where you're going, you have no technical knowledge.
You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep & you expect people beneath you to solve your problems..!!
😀😀😀😀😀😀😀

Evolution

Today was very good day for me:
one of my friend said he is going to buy new phone as his older phone is unrepairable (Android failed to boot). I took the phone installed twrp - unlocked bootloader and then flashed cynogen os and boom! android booted up.
Now they think me as a genius and says i wrote that Android OS, i tried saying its just a hack due to open source but they still think me as a HACKER! :)

I made Skype Bot which queries the data using wsdl authentication on our ticketing tool and send the data whoever has requested in skype itself(without logging or touching the ticketing tool).

Manager: Is that even possible?

Me: (In excitement) Everything is possible if you have the will.

Now, He wants me to work on his pet project. I dont know how to react!

Today is my worst day!, my MacBook motherboard got burnt out and repairing cost is $750. :(
Feel like crying 😢

I am in-fucking-love with myself and packages contributed to OSS communities!

TL;DR: inotify is great and I am lazy bitch so I wrote a script to kinda do my work

I took some time to write a script that takes a folder with images (Screenshots) and move them somewhere else with the last modify time as their new name (something like "Screenshot_DATE_TIME.png) because my current screenshot software for Windows (Lightshot) only saves their screenshots like this: Screenshot_<Incrementing Number>.
Once in a while I'd like to move those images away to "clean up" that folder, but I always have to create a new folder like "OLD" but that already exists so it becomes "OLD_1" which.. also existed up to "OLD_3" and I finally grew sick of it!

2ish hours later my Perl script now automatically gets triggered by inotify once a new file (Screenshot for that matter) is written or moved to the Screenshot folder and auto-fucking-matically moves it to the "new" folder with the new filename so I don't have the issue of having "OLD_1" .. "OLD_INFINITY" anymore.

Little things / scripts like these really make me feel good about what myself and my coding skills (I know, this is a somewhat trivial task but still a great experience)

Password Selection

One my junior was trying to re-build the code for 2 hours, he tried every possible ways: clean - build - rebuild - run and tried several times changing the codes. Then asked me for help, I just stopped the current running process in task bar and rebuild it. It worked!
He started starting at me like I wrote Windows OS :)

I made a wordpress website to one of my friends long time back as he wants to teach online and sell his videos. (he is studying MBBS)
Yesterday suddenly he calls me and says our site has been compromised and its not longer secure.
Me: After seeing screenshot, no actually site doesn't have ssl and in recent chrome updates http site is being flagged.
He: Okay, I saw video on youtube how to buy ssl.
Me: its not just installing the certs, all the links and images has to be on https so it will take sometime for me.
He: Today, Website is no longer opening please help after putting ssl as per the video...
Me: What the hell? Who asked you to do that? Are you nuts?
He:................. Sorry, 😐

!Rant, rather a small question.
Few weeks back I have provided Python lectures to my teammates and they were so happy that my manager raised my name for one of the major python resource (though my core work is CMDB, just to ease my work I have learnt Python).
Today I came to know I have been SPOC from offshore liable for entire integration team in JAVA. I don't have much knowledge in JAVA and without asking me they gave me. I'm confused what to do? (Write a mail and say No or simply accept this new challenge) :(

All people are happy except me as Reliance (Service Provider) giving Unlimited 4G Unlimited Calls and many service Unlimited till December and I cannot use that SIM because I have Windows Phone :(

Today I called my ISP and shouted what the hell is your wireless service, I cannot even open youtube. Then they asked from what time you had the issue we are not able to see any data.
All of a sudden I saw I was disconnected from dongle and got connected to Wifi automatically (So i was on wifi). I feel ashamed then all of a sudden I scolded them and told yes because of your shitty service am not able to use!! :)

One of the client wants simple website with ecommerce gateway. Can someone suggest me whether using WordPress with plugin will be an good idea?

Today one of the user complained me that my account has been hacked and someone is using it. I asked how can you say that then he replied "Whenever I hit enter after typing the password, its getting extended !"
I was like - "Please kill me!"