Fuck all authentication everywhere all the time. Fuck your passwords. Fuck your fingerprints. Fuck your rolling key fob. Fuck your aws secrets. Fuck your docker secrets. Fuck your oauth. Fuck your /etc/passwd. Fuck your groups. Fuck chmod and fuck chown and definitely fuck Kerberos. Fuck Saml. Fuck duo mobile. Fuck rotating pins. Fuck axiad. Fuck selinux. Fuck your fill out this form to get role based access. Fuck it doesn’t work because you can’t log in. Fuck it.

i just wanted to say:

FUCK HADOOP
FUCK KAFKA
FUCK JBOD
FUCK KERBEROS

that is all

WEP security on a brand new wifi rollout. Do it for the legacy because no one knew the scanner gun (like target or walmart has) could operate on WPA Personal or even....802.1x Kerberos Security login. At least it was *something* but the whole place was on windows xp and server 2003.

It is 2016. Lets learn our technologies and read the manuals.

I think I hate Kerberos enabled services as a first impression.

Fucking ticket fucking motherfucker

So on my new position I get to work on Spark jobs. Never had to work with the infamous big data technologies. I never thought this would get SO frustrating for all the wrong reasons.

I'm currently trying to introduce integration tests for some Spark job I wrote. This isn't trivial though, as the data comes from several HBase tables. Mocking everything simply isn't feasible. So why not use the integrated HBaseTestingUtility? With it you can start a mini cluster that runs all nessecary services in the scope of your test.

Sounds great, eh? WRONG. Firstly the used mapr dependencies get in the way. The baked in configuration tries to automatically authenticate with your local cluster through Kerberos. Of course this doesn't work. And of course there is no way to reconfigure this as it happens IN A FUCKING STATIC BLOCK. AHHHH.

Ok. So after calming down I "simply" had to exclude all mapr dependencies and replace them with vanilla ones. After two days of dependency hell it FINALLY works!

...or does it? Well now we need test data. For that we got a map reduce algorithm that can import dumps. Sounds again, great, eh? WROOOONNNG.

The fucking map reduce mini cluster can't start, as it tries to write a symlink. Now take a wild guess what the sys admin here blocked. Yepp. TWO DAYS OF WORK RENDERED USELESS, BECAUSE OF SOME FUCKING SECURITY SETTING.

This is fine.