Idea guy: Hey bro, I have an idea of an app that can teleport matter to any random place outside our milky way galaxy and brings them back at will

Me: okay??

Idea guy: This is d future of tourism in d world

Me: okay??

Idea guy: so this is whats going to happen, you sign an NDA, you build d app, and then i will give you an equity of 10% in it and run the business. This can be big. I will make you rich

Me: Geet the fuuuucckkkm oouttt or rather i build d app without a return button and send him to a black hole

**Just tired of this kind of conversations**

Damn simulation.

Some juniors grabbed keyboard and reprogrammed main species to stay at home and fear of death while I was busy working with other features.

Moreover someone made additional changes from infected computer and guess what....

Unfortunately it’s real time system with increasing entropy and we can’t revert changes so fixing damn shit would take from one to two decades.

We don’t have backups cause last time we used them we also killed dinosaurs.

It would be just easier to erase everything and start from beginning cause our statistics charts are fucked up - again but motherfucker boss don’t want to do it.
He’d rather teleport again to adjust the world. Damn fucker thinks he’s god but in fact he’s just prick with rich parents.

I’ve decided to piss him off by adjusting planet thermostat so we can start over.
2 years more and changes would be irreversible.

Damn job.

When Human Teleportation?

Can I just say, I hate migraines. There is nothing worse than trying to focus with a worm gnawing at ones eyeball. Ended up leaving work at 13:00, wishing I could teleport home. I take that back; driving for an hour with a migraine is worse. Almost 19:00 and it is finally gone.

name: ash williams
weapon of choice: chainsaw hand

name: john rambo
weapon of choice: heavy machine gun

name: kiki
weapon of choice: teleport behind you, create a door leading who knows where, drag you in, close the door shut, make it disappear into nowhere

Requirement: "Build teleport using a teapot and some tape"

Yesterday I spent most of my working day staring at the screen thinking about it, without being able to write a proposed implementation document. I felt the most useless person in the universe.

Me, today at daily stand-up meeting: «Honestly I have no idea on how to proceed, please assign me a different task.»
Manager: «Well, just think about it a bit more»

Great.