Details
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About21 years old student that love developing an Android apps.
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Skillsjava, Android, html
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LocationK.S.A
Joined devRant on 8/2/2017
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Imagine what a coder Gordon Ramsay might be like:
Your alghoritm is so FUCKING slow, I'd rather to try to brute force a 20 characters long alphanumeric password!
This app is more insecure than an average teenager!
If your code was a spaghetti it would be a fucking health hazard!14 -
Yet another commercial seminar upset I won't give up a day of my time to fly to the UK to speak at the event for no payment or reimbursement for my travel.
But of course I should think about the exposure and networking opportunities! 😕8 -
True history... (I find in twitter)
⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ (\__/)
⠀ (•ㅅ•) my mentor defending
_ノ ヽ ノ\ _ my code to the team
/ `/ ⌒Y⌒ Y ヽ
( (三ヽ人 / |
| ノ⌒\  ̄ ̄ヽ ノ
ヽ___>、___/
|( 王 ノ〈 (\__/)
/ミ`ー―彡 \ (•ㅅ•) me2 -
me: *tries to find a file in system*
Ubuntu: No problem bud, here's a thing which you're looking for
macOS: Sure thing chief, here's your stuff.
Windows 10: Here's a random thing I found on the Internet which is totally irrelavent. By the way, I see you're using Chrome, would you like to start Microsoft Edge instead? 🙃10 -
This shit is real.
Guy comes to my desk.
Guy: Do you know Python?
Me: Yes
Guy: I want a program that reads a CSV containing IP addresses and tells which of them are valid.
Me: Sure thing. Show me the CSV file.
Guy: (Shows the file)
Me: (Writes a small function for checking whether the IP is valid)
Me: Done Here you go.
Guy: You should be using regex.
Me: Why? This is perfect. No need for regex.
Guy: My manager wants a solution using regex only.
Me: Why so?
Guy: I don't know. Can you do it using regex?
Me: Only if you say so. (Stackoverflow. Writes a humongous regex). Done!
Me: Just for curiosity, what is your application?
Guy: I will port it in Java. You see, regex is easy to debug.
Me: Ohhh Yes. I forgot that. Good luck with your regex.22 -
Just went to the new cafe next to me (all over the top fancy as usual around here), thought after a long time I could and should enjoy a nice drink, snack and a great view while coding.
Got two babies screaming out their internals right when I've paid and sat down, then an old guy started asking me to leave multiple times, threatening to call the police and trying to drag me off my chair, because I "shouldn't be breaking other peoples computers" - most likely because I was pulling+compiling evince via yay and he caught a glimpse of it when I checked if it finished or not.
One of the employees saw that happening and kicked the old guy out, then gave me a fresh donut as a "sorry", was for sure the best donut I've ate, not because of the taste, but because I saw the old guy then hovering across the street and occasionally giving me a look, as if he's waiting for the FBI to finally show up and he could tell where I escaped to.
tbh when the employee was approaching, I've seen this turn into a completely different rant, positively surprised there's still some sane people out there.13 -
Secretary of the IT department stated in a meeting that she was "overqualified to babysit a group of 40 grown-ass men who are unable to communicate with each other"
... all devs had a huge grin on their faces because we knew that she was absolutely right, management was furious 😂
She submitted her resignation on the same day, best secretary we've ever had!1 -
Question:
Kotlin?
Yes || No || Donno
Thinking about giving it a small touch but wanted to look on what others thoughts are.
Cheers ☕7 -
So I recently moved into an student house. Its really awesome but the only thing thats frustrating as fuck is the internet. Its like 50 - 200 kbs. I litterally type in slow motion over ssh. It stops working every few days and the dhcp range is to small :(. Not like my landlord can't afford better internet. There are like 50 people in this building and I think we have the basic abbonement.
Luckily I get my own internet next thuesday. I can't wait.4 -
How to become cool in a developer community:
- try javascript for the first time
- pretend to use it like your favorite programming language (99% C)
- notice it is different
- rant about how stupid is javascript and its users7 -
I am actually consider buying a rubber duck from devrant
To support them but mostly
when I need help, pretend that using the duck don't work so I need another rubbr duck and ask a co-worker to help me
yeah I'm a bitch5 -
I sent a professional letter to my boss telling him that i will leave after 15 days. He replied saying :
" stop that bullshit "19 -
So I own a webshop together with a guy I met at one of my previous contract jobs. He said he had a great idea to sell product X because he can get them very cheap from another European country. Actually it is a great idea so we decided to work together on this: I do everything tech related, he does the non tech stuff.
Now we are more than 1 year in business. I setup a VPS, completely configured it, installed and setup the complete webshop, built 2 custom PrestaShop modules, built many customizations, built a completely new order proces (both front and back end), advertised quite some products, did some link building, ensured everything is in place to do proper SEO, wrote some content pages, did administration and tax declarations, rewrote a part of a PrestaShop component because it was so damn inefficient and horribly slow, and then some more. Much more.
He did customer relation management, supplier management and some ad words campaigns. Promised me many times to write the content for our product pages. This guy has an education in marketing but literally said: I'm not gonna invest in creating some marketing plan. I have no ambition in online marketing.
What?! You have the marketing knowledge and skills but refuse to use it to market our webshop and business? What the fuck is wrong with you?!
Today he says to me: 'Hey man, this is becoming an expensive hobby as we don't sell much and have lots of costs. I don't understand why I should be the one to write these content pages. Everything you did in the past 8 months can be done in less than 20 hours! You are a joke and just made it a big deal by spreading your work over so many months. I know for sure because I currently work at a company where I'm surrounded by front end devs! Are you fucking crazy?! You're a liar.'
He talks like this to me every 2 months or so while he can't even deliver the content for 1 single product in 6 fuckin' months! We even had to refund a few of our customers because Mr. client relations manager didn't respond to their e-mails within 1 fucking week!! So I asked him how could that have happened as you do the client relations and support. Well, he replied to me: 'Why didn't YOU respond to our clients? You don't log on in our back office at least once a day?!'.
Of course I do asshole. But YOU don't. He replied that I was lying just like I was lying about what I did for our business.
So, asshole, let's have a look at PrestaShops logs to see who's logging in daily. Well, you can probably guess who's IP was there in most of the entries. It wasn't his.
So, what the fuck have you been doing then?! You can't even manage to respond quickly to a client?!! We have maybe 50 clients and if we get 1 question a month by email it is already a lot. But you keep bitching, complaining and insulting me instead?!!!
Last time he literally admitted on a WhatsApp conversation that he had and still has the hope that he could just sit back and relax and watch me do ALL the work.
Well, guess what you fucking moron. That's not what we agreed upon. You fuckin' retard think you're so smart but you say EVERYTHING on WhatsApp! Including your promises to me. Thank you you fuckin' piece of dog shit because now I have hard evidence and will hand it over to my lawyer to make you pay every god damn cent for all the hours I've spent working on our business. Oh, and I'll take over the webshop and make it a success on my own because I know damn well how to get relevant traffic and thus customers.
You just go get yourself fucked in the ass without lubricant you fuckin' asshole. I have told you you shouldn't fuck with me because I take business very seriously. I even warned you when you were crossing a line again. Well, if you don't listen... You will pay for the consequences. I will be so damn happy to tell you 'I told you so' with a very very big smile on my face. That momemt WILL come, 'partner'.
Fuck you. You will be fucked. Count on that. Fucking asshole.8 -
I sometimes encounter developers who try to be serious all the time and be super rational at everything and have a pride in never smiling. One time my friend was crying and her dev boyfriend went like "I am a developer and I think rational, the way you think about X........." Dude shut the fuck up and hug her! Nobody gives a fuck about you being a RoboCop right now. The fact that you lack emphaty and emotional capacity doesnt make you a mighty god, it makes you a fucking asshole.4
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My employer gives me a mission to complete in our project using plain js.
*Uses 30 hours of working time completing the mission using custom js elements*
*Presents the results proudly to the employer*
*Realizes Microsoft edge doesn't support custom elements*4 -
One of my friend at college asked me why her computer is running slow even when she is running only chrome.
Me: how much memory does it have?
Her: 1TB.
Me (somewhat confused): no no I meant RAM.
Her: yeah yeah it's one TB. I read the specifications of the laptop.
Me: *in my mind, fucking read it again* please read it again. You must have misread it.
Her( grinning face ): alright.
Guess who didn't talk to me for a week. 😂14 -
I think I'm losing my mind working in the IT Department. 😂 Sometimes the questions are UNBELIEVABLE!
Client: Hi, my computer is not working.
Me: Hi, what's wrong with it?
Client: IDK. It won't work.
Me: Alright, what do you see on your screen?
Client: Nothing!
Me: Nothing as in there are no icons on your desktop or black screen?
Client: Oh, black screen.
Me: Is your monitor on? Do you see a light on the power-on button?
Client: Yes, it's white.
Me: Ok, good. What about your computer? Is it turned on?
Client: Well, I never turn off my computer so I assume it's on. I leave it as is when I leave the office then log-in in the morning when I come in.
**At this point I realized this person doesn't even lock the computer until it locks by itself after a while.
Me: Ok please turn on your computer by pressing the power button with a thin line on it. It should turn white.
Client: Ok but as I said I don't turn it off so why should I turn it on? Did it turn off by itself?
Me: That can happen.
Client: Ok....oh wait, it working! Thank you so much. Sorry if I was a little pain. I am a little stressed out this morning.
Me: No problem. Glad it worked. Have a good day.
*Hangs up confused. I mean really confused. Smh18