*Designs front-end sends it to my boss*
Boss: Looks good. No changes needed.
*Hosts the design*
Boss: Ah, well these icons need to be different maybe and this font is too boring, try something else.
*Cries internally*

api.staging.example.com or staging.api.example.com?

Yesterday, my employer promoted me to lead web developer.

I’m still the only web developer.

VSCode you fucking piece of shit!

Just got my code working and rewarded myself with tweaking some of the configurations. Coming back to my file and it's all irrevertably messed up with randomly pasted and probably some deleted code snippets.

How's that even possible? 😡

Perfect change log doesn't exis-

When your in apprenticeship and find a bug that allows the user to skip the payment... that was in production for multiple years...

I like coding in a way that anyonr who comes into my code base can understand whats going on. That way more people can maintain the code base.

However, I HATE having people in my code base. Since they leave shit undocumented, and have 10 variables called "data" "items" "o" "p" and another 20 methods called "processData" "convertItem".

Does anyone else experience the excess knowledge crisis? Wherein you realise that there is so much knowledge out there that you don't know where to start, and the moment you start, you realise there is something new to learn and you instantly get distracted.

happens every day at work :))

"You know that feature we told you to put back in again after we told you to take it out after we had that meeting where we decided to put it back in again after we agreed to take it out after that change request was submitted to add it? We're going to need you to take it out again."

Exhibit B in an upcoming murder trial. I'm pleading justifiable homicide.

When you leave for lunch after starting a build. Only to return and realize you forgot to actually start the build process.. >.<

Am I the only one who treats projects, products and code as people, and talk to them e.g. This is what I said recently to my executable "are you fucking kidding me? " and my fellow developer got confused whom I am talking to

#dev #xD lol

I was supporting a legacy CRM app which front end used Visual Basic 6 and almost the entire business logic was written on SQL store procedures.

A "feature" of the product was the open code, anyone with admin access could modify forms, code and store procedures.

We also sold "official" (and expensive) consulting services to modify the code.

A long time customer owned this thing and it was heavily customized. They had hired us to change something, hired a third party to make other changes and decided to modify some stuff themselves because, why not?

Suddenly they came to product support asking to fix a bug. The problem happened on a non customized form.

After reviewing, I realized the form used several of the modified store procedures in the business layer. I tried saying we don't support custom code but my boss was being pushed and said "look into it"

All 3 parties denied responsibility and said their changes were NOT the problem (of course). Neither of them commented or documented their changes.

The customer started to threaten to sue us.

I spent 5 full days following every field on the form through the nested and recurrent SQL store procedures and turns out it was a very simple error. A failed insert statement.

I was puzzled of why the thing didn't throw any error even while debugging. Turns out in SQL 2003 (this was a while ago) someone used a print line statement and SQL stopped throwing errors to the console. I can only assume "printing" in SQL empties the buffered error which would be shown in the console.

I removed the print statement and the error showed up, we fixed it and didn't get sued
:)

When the specs doc was poorly written and u almost turn into a donkey

me when trying to debug code

When they change the ethics,health&safety,anti corruption etc. online courses so that the next links are disabled until the audio is completed.

Development Process:
PM writes out functionality required and works with designer for drawing up designs.
Hands off to Dev.
Dev reads through all docs and sends the PM all the strings, he's just written down in the documentation, that he needs to request for internationalisation.

Every time or not?

My girlfriend dumped me after I named a class after her. She felt I treated her like an object.

Well, at least there are no errors...

When managers ask you to complete some code in an hour and it takes them 5 hours to approve the merge.

I got called into a "personal development" meeting with the department lead, apparently my vocal and innovative cursing during coding/debugging is disruptive to the entire floor.

When everything you're sent gets assigned top priority and the only way you can tell the difference is by how many exclamation points are used and the occasional uppercase...

gotta love when the experience they require for a job is years longer than that language has been out

"How are you going to do that?"

"I don't know..."

"I need an estimate."

"40 hours."

"Why's it going to take that long?"

"I couldn't find the right stack overflow article."

Do you ever go on YouTube to look something up then like 3 hours later find yourself watching videos on how to train giraffes or something you really don't need to know?

Documentation is like sex. When it's good, it's really good. When it's bad, it's better than nothing.

Upper management has a huge meeting and decides NOT to merge in buggy or incomplete or untested code just because it's the due date (you know, quality over quantity? And an attempt to cut back PM's unrealistic expectations)
2 sprints later: "So we're going to go ahead with the merge. Yes, we know the feature isn't complete, but we promised blah blah blah"
So much for that <.<;;

When vide dont work! :D