Details
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AboutGLACEON
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SkillsHTML, CSS, JS, PHP, MySQL, good at none.
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LocationYou’re looking at him.
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Website
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Github
Joined devRant on 3/14/2017
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Designer: can we put the popup at the top of the screen?
Me: You mean op top of the navigation?
Designer: Yeah.
Me: I sure can. Would be stupid to block off the site navigation with a popup, but definately possible.
Designer: Cool, let me know when done!
Me: ....
Me: I am done.
Designer: Well now I can't click on the navigation anymore.
Me: That's correct. Let me know when you want to change it again.13 -
Me: tried to HTML like a sad anime girl
(someone spots me)
Dude: yo you're good (I'm just making a bouncing ball in HTML in peace) wanna join our group?
Me: uh sure
(Finds out I just entered a coding competition group going to be sent somewhere minutes later after being added to the Telegram group)
Fuck me3 -
Me: So i've cloned the iOS project, i've run carthage, but it won't build.. Have I done something wrong?
Devs: Oh read this doc on github, we do loads of custom stuff. The depenedncy manager can't do it all by itself. You need to run `./scripts/boostrap.sh`
Me (another day): I've switched branches and i'm getting all these errors. Any ideas?
Devs: Ah this happens when someone modifies xyz. Read this pinned slack message. Run `./scripts/bootstrap.sh` again.
Me (another day): I've switched branches again, getting different errors, re-running boostrap didn't fix it.
Devs: Ah yeah, this happens when someone modifies abc. You need to run `./scripts/nuke.sh` and then boostrap when this happens.
Me (another day): Guys When I try to run the prod app its not building any ideas?
Devs: Ah yes have a look at this confluence link. You need to run `./scripts/setup_debug_release.sh`, then nuke, then boostrap and you'll be good.
Me: .... ok
Devs: Oh btw very important! do not commit any changes from `./scripts/setup_debug_release.sh`. It will break everything!
Me: ... no i'm sorry we have a much bigger problem than that. We need to talk ... like right now7 -
ONLY TODAY did I learn that the ".js" is optional in node when running a script.
I always ran "node server.js"
But by accident I ran "node server .js" with a space and it worked, I wondered why, and then ran
"node server" and it just fucking works. That's awesome.12 -
So the job was for a web developer, specifically.
We needed a person who was very confident with PHP, JS, HTML, CSS.
This dude comes in, he says he's confident with all of them, we ask him how he would solve a problem we're having and he answers just like we answered the first time. Which is a good start.
By the end of the interview, he just says: "ok, but like I'm not here to work as a developer"
"WTF are you even here for, then?"
"To work on anything else than that"
"But we just need that"
"I won't do it"
"Ok, then, bye"9 -
Okay I just had the first good experience of my college career (It's my last semester)
Professor put the PDF versions of all the textbooks in their syllabus.
Swear to god I nearly came.
Good job, professor. -
Who the fuck thought this was a good order of putting time period indicators in their UI?
How is it even sorted? Not alphabetically, not in duration.9 -
Idea to overhaul the CSS !important system...
Allow it to accept a numerical value much like z-index.
But the max !important level is the current year so that the more current your code, the more important it is.
Works based off the last edited date of your files to prevent cheaters.7 -
"Hey Jamcris11,
Be apart of our cool programming project?"
"Hell yeah, sign me up".
Three weeks later.
Proceeds to me being the only person contributing to the project in anyway (despite having a full time job meaning little spare time).
Guy who invited me in the first place just plays fucking Minecraft all day (he doesn't have a job or college,) puts no effort into the project at all.22 -
Me: Ah, just have to finish this one small feature today and this whole massive update is done. Everyone will be off my back, things will calm down. Gonna be great.
Life: hey man, you know what I was thinking? It’s been a really long time since you had one of those vomiting bugs ... you know the gut wrenching, massive headache, can’t do anything but stare at the walls kind of flu’s?
Me: ...... eh I’m ok thanks.
Life: oh buddy you don’t understand ...... RUN!!!2 -
Me: we only got 40 minutes notice that we had to stay in late for a meeting with the USA team. Can we politely ask them to give us like a days notice in future? I can’t just stay late at any time, neither can the guys with kids to collect.
Manager: oh ok. I’m very sorry this has affected you. Here, let me explain why this is going to keep happening and you’ll need to deal with it.16 -
Dude, FUCK automated bathrooms.
First of all, what the hell is so complicated about making a motion sensing faucet that works? Why does it *need* to be motion sensing? I stand there for 5-10 seconds with my stupid soapy hands extended, waiting for a squirt of the divine liquid.
And then the immediately following experience isn't much better. Motion sensing paper towel dispenser. The first go works fine, but it always dispenses half of what you need to get your grimy paws dry. So you go in for seconds, and it just flat out ignores you. Leaves you on read. You flap your pathetic noodle arms at it again. It isn't happening. Please wait 3-5 business days.
Oh, and god forbid you forget to cover the automatic toilet with a few wasted squares. Lean into a shit ONCE and you've just been prematurely flushed. Your ass is misted with the cold, unforgiving equivalent of an automatic insult.
Asshole design12 -
So my mom told me I should stop playing games...
....When she literally saw me flashing OpenWrt in a Linksys router...
chotto matte nani sore6 -
Me: *selects text, Ctrl+c*
Me: *places cursor in next text box, Ctrl+v*
Computer: *does nothing*
Me: *selects text again, presses CTRL+C WITH FORCE*
Me: *places cursor in next text box again, presses CTRL+V WITH FORCE*
Computer: *pastes*
Me: "That's what I thought."19 -
Since everyone seems to be talking about getting places late, here's my not-so-significant story about my most recent interview.
So I was told that GPS probably wouldn't work. But the instructions that I got were not specific enough to guide me - something I learned only once I arrived in the general area that I was supposed to be in.
Ended up going one street too far and talking to the wrong front desk. They kindly gave me instructions to get to my destination.
These instructions were also wrong. They left out one step and viola, I'm at the gate of the sheriff dog training facility.
Turn 'er around and finally get on the correct road. My 20 minutes early turned into 10 minutes late, just like that.
They were understanding and I got the job.5 -
Facebook: *moves a button to the left by 0.0000002 pixels*
Facebook's users (averaging about a billion years old): Yo wtf where'd that button go7 -
We have phonetic alphabets to clearly describe spellings (d as in Delta, etc.)
What's your best misleading phonetic alphabets? I'll start:
P as in pneumonia
H as in honest18 -
I just overheard that someone tried to clean up their computer by going into the C drive, selecting all folders, and pressing delete.
They called the help desk because it was taking a long time4 -
>mail from Trello
>Mail reads: "Taco from Trello"
>My mind: "Wow, food!"
>Body: *moves mail to bin*3 -
People who actually implement DRY: "Don't repeat yourself!"
People who "implement" DRY but are morons: "Don't repeat yourself, never say the same thing twice, and try not to be redundant."11 -
So a few days ago I felt pretty h*ckin professional.
I'm an intern and my job was to get the last 2003 server off the racks (It's a government job, so it's a wonder we only have one 2003 server left). The problem being that the service running on that server cannot just be placed on a new OS. It's some custom engineering document server that was built in 2003 on a 1995 tech stack and it had been abandoned for so long that it was apparently lost to time with no hope of recovery.
"Please redesign the system. Use a modern tech stack. Have at it, she's your project, do as you wish."
Music to my ears.
First challenge is getting the data off the old server. It's a 1995 .mdb file, so the most recent version of Access that would be able to open it is 2010.
Option two: There's an "export" button that literally just vomits all 16,644 records into a tab-delimited text file. Since this option didn't require scavenging up an old version of Access, I wrote a Python script to just read the export file.
And something like 30% of the records were invalid. Why? Well, one of the fields allowed for newline characters. This was an issue because records were separated by newline. So any record with a field containing newline became invalid.
Although, this did not stop me. Not even close. I figured it out and fixed it in about 10 minutes. All records read into the program without issue.
Next for designing the database. My stack is MySQL and NodeJS, which my supervisors approved of. There was a lot of data that looked like it would fit into an integer, but one or two odd records would have something like "1050b" which mean that just a few items prevented me from having as slick of a database design as I wanted. I designed the tables, about 18 columns per record, mostly varchar(64).
Next challenge was putting the exported data into the database. At first I thought of doing it record by record from my python script. Connect to the MySQL server and just iterate over all the data I had. But what I ended up actually doing was generating a .sql file and running that on the server. This took a few tries thanks to a lot of inconsistencies in the data, but eventually, I got all 16k records in the new database and I had never been so happy.
The next two hours were very productive, designing a front end which was very clean. I had just enough time to design a rough prototype that works totally off ajax requests. I want to keep it that way so that other services can contact this data, as it may be useful to have an engineering data API.
Anyways, that was my win story of the week. I was handed a challenge; an old, decaying server full of important data, and despite the hitches one might expect from archaic data, I was able to rescue every byte. I will probably be presenting my prototype to the higher ups in Engineering sometime this week.
Happy Algo!8 -
Do you guys find yourself ignoring things you should be using just because you're too stubborn to learn how they work? Because I just used std::shared_ptr for the first time today.1