This is what happens when I'm asked to document something.

Another dev on my team just got a new machine. Before he came in today I made two separate USB installers and left him these notes.

This answer is too accurate...

It changed my life, really. 😁

Me: Do you know what DDOS stands for?
New hire: Distributed database operating system.

Hahaha 😂😂

lol, no!!

FUCK YOU SHITTY FUCKING DICK HEAD!!!.. I'M FUCKING TIRED OF YOUR FUCKING BULLSHIT ABOUT "YOU'RE A PROGRAMMER... YOU MUST KNOW HOW TO USE PHOTOSHOP!"... OR "SUCH A SHITTY PROGRAMMER YOU ARE... DON'T YOU KNOW HOW TO FIX MY COMPUTER"... OR "CAN YOU MAKE ME AN APP?... IT'S LIKE OTHER APP BUT BETTER, I CAN'T GIVE YOU MORE DETAILS BECAUSE IT'S CONFIDENCIAL, SO YOU GOT TO DO IT WHIT OUT KNOWING WHAT THE FUCK YOU HAVE TO DO"... GO TO FUCK YOURSELF WITH A TRUCK FULL OF DONKEYS FUCKING IDIOT!!!... STOP TALKING BULLSHIT AND GET AND FUCKING LIFE YOU ASSHOLE!!!... sorry about my english for those who read

I think server down time is because of rain 🌧

At least it's easy to debug.

The real story: How the Apple was damaged.

Hacker uses windows media player to hack into police database....

//Happens only in Indian movies

PS : don't try it at home.

When the new employee shows up with new ideas and is all excited to work there.

I have decided to learn how to fix the printer. Because it seems like it is the number one skill in demand..

Interviewer: So you worked with mysql?

Me: yes, for over 6 years

Interviewer: so, you know how to write queries?

At the top of a 2000+ line source file

*listens to music using Samsung earphones*
Person next to me: Nice song
Neighbor: Nice song
Aliens: Nice song

Browsing to a porn site while still being in the corporate VPN.
Got a proxy page which said this type of content isn't allowed at work. Nearly had a heart attack ;D

Showed my boss DevRant, and now he wants me to make a BossRant..

Now i can enter in peace! Finally a good number

​​​​​​

My friend just started RUBY.
He read somewhere " Ruby is used commonly in rails ".

He now thinks RUBY is for programming trains and station related stuff.

Not me, but a colleague of mine ordered 10,000 pens with <company>.com printed on them - but our company had a .org address.

😂😂😂😂😂😂

USB sounds like a backup in case the USA fails

Ahhh DDoS attacks

You know you're a dev when your browser tabs look like this

Student - Teacher renaming .c to .exe make the program executable ?

Teacher - Yes

A group of people stand up and walking to the door

Teacher - Where are you all going ?

Students - We are going to drop this class.

Walking with gf.

diadev: hey that desk would be perfect for someone with one monitor!
GF: What kind of fuckin normie has one monitor?

I'm keeping this one 😂

Oh wow. That timing though.