We live in a society 🤡

Millions of shattered dreams. Possibly the worst emotional pain.

Haters might love this state of mine.

I think managers should at least know what is CSS and what is not. But NOOOOOOO.

Learn php. It's the future!

Actually it was good advice at it's time.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!

Nuff said...

"If you're writing a lot of code to do something, you're probably doing it wrong." - Marco Cantu

Dear children let's talk about how to ask a f***ing question.

You don't just go "I need help. I can't figure it out." We had trainings on this, I sat through 3 hours holding your hand to help you try and understand things.

And yet now we have scheduled another 3 hours to help you figure this out because you said you were having difficulty with it because you couldn't figure it out. How about instead of just saying you "Need help", you start by
1. Explaining what you are trying to accomplish
2. What specific issue are you facing? Is there an error message or something?
3. What have you already tried thus far that didn't work?

Instead of "I NEED HELP I CAN'T FIGURE IT OUT!" that is the sign of a lazy f****ing engineer, someone who doesn't want to think, who doesn't want to learn something new who wants to just coast by. Especially when this is going to become an increasingly important part of your job.

And of course you currently are still a whole job level above me because sitting around and keeping a chair warm for 10 years means you are a valuable contributor, instead of what you can actually DO!

This bugs me so much. So remember kids, when you need help, or need to ask a question, ASK IT THE RIGHT F****ING WAY!

My last job application letter was literally: “I saw your add and since you don’t do web stuff I decided to apply”

Hired

Debugging the meaning of debugging.

Man do I love receiving bug reports and comments in Turkish, Russian, Portuguese or Iranian. I should really just start replying to those in Polish.

I added a humorous pinned post saying “By the way, I can only reply to you either in English, Polish or Dutch :)” to the program where I receive such reports.
I am aware it won’t do jackshit, because people can’t read.

Kurwa.

I recently learnt that even chrome and Firefox use Webkit instead of their own engines in the iPad, because Apple requires so. So you can not use any alternative browser. You can not install oder versions of Safari as well. You can not open any browser-console or whatever. What the serious fuck.
I've hated Apple for my life but now I have even reasons!

Incompetence with a high level of self-confidence and strong opinions is a dangerous combination.

I really despise the non-tech sluts who think their only job is to hold meetings and "talk". "Do you wannaa taalk about iiit?" Fuck you bitch you're not my therapist.

Me: I have a meeting in 20 minutes, I should get out of bed.
Also me: Thank fuck nobody bothers with cameras in meetings coz I'm often in bed.

Eight bytes walk into a bar.
The bartender asks, "Can I get you anything?"
"Yeah," reply the bytes.
"Make us a double."

Pewpewpew

Skype gives me so much anxiety 😥

Least illiterate Indian tech HR

Startup companies be like "we are hiring full stack developer"

Full Stack Developer = the entire IT department 😏

Remember the super duper company I applied for? (Last rant)

Well, I did their coding challenge. And after many years I had to do a metric crapton of C++. It's not a fun language. It's frustrating how human-unfriendly it is, and maybe one reason why I low-key like it.

Anyways, here's hoping that I didn't fuck up too much.

On a side note, I realized tensorflow actually has a cpp api. I think I'm gonna work with that in my next mental breakdown. 🧐

What did Mario say to Peach before their divorce?

It’s not-a you… it’s-a me…

A SQL statement walks into a bar and sees two tables.
It approaches, and asks "may I join you?"

Just startup stories:

Our backlog of tasks and bugs has officially reached 100+ tickets, all for me, the single software engineer at our "tech" company.

Huh, imagine that.

I recently started working on a 3 months old project, that was outsourced to two Indians genius. One of them left just before I arrived.

I had the chance to discover those guys were not using any version control system, just exchanging a zip file. I don’t even talk about the codebase, never seen such a mess …

Even better the project managers, were not using any IT program to follow the project advancement, but just Excel!!!

After a few days I realised that the remaining dev was not committing anything, the guy was always lying, (so many people died around him + some emergencies)

So, the guy got fired, but don’t worry management found new genius to save the project 🙂

Can someone tell me if outsourcing is really working?