A programmer was smoking.

A lady standing near by asked him can't you see the warning? smoking is injurious for health!!

He replied, "We are bothered only about errors NOT warnings"....

In my company, we create roadmaps using Microsoft PowerPoint.

If you need me, I'll be crying in the darkest corner questioning my life choices and existence.

It fucking infuriates me when the docs mention to create a certain config file "xyz.json" but completely leave it to your imagination where the hell this fucking file should be placed!
Come on, I'm not getting paid for detective work, fucking imbeciles.

What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt.

Having a PM is like having a little kid, while driving somewhere, and he's constantly asking: "Are we there yet??".

I wasn’t even looking for a job, I just went out for drinks with friends and I met this random dude. I complained to him about work wanting us to go back to the office, to which he replied that I should go work for them because they’re remote and looking for people. I had a look at their openings and they had a role with fewer responsibilities and a lot more money, so I applied. It’s been 3 months and I’m so glad I switched.

HR: Everyone must fill out these 100% anonymous surveys about how you feel about our company, it’s leadership, and how likely you are to leave in the next 6 months etc. Please be 100% honest, since again it is 100% anonymous. Reminder! You must use the individual links we sent to you, do NOT use someone else’s link. Oh did we say it’s 100% anonymous?

The Link:

www. surveygen .com/ companysurvey123 ?employeeName=boombodies &employeeId=6969

Dev: …

Manager: As you all know I called this meeting to discuss what we will do with all of the extra resources if we are done early. I was thinking a start a new ap—

Dev: We are not going to be done early. There are two weeks left and we are way behind schedule.

Manager: Don’t be so pessimistic! You never know when or how fast tickets will be completed.

Dev: Yes I do…I’m the one doing them

Why is the "leave building"command now working?!?!?! Are you sure it's a Git command?? .... Oh shit.

For the love of Arch Linux 😍😍😍

Rare old picture of a Linux Sysadmin enjoying a mug of tea after a hard day at work