How is MSSQL so popular? "Oh yeah, sometimes you have to use dynamic SQL because the compiler doesn't correctly detect the impact of DDL commands and rejects working code" god fucking what? Why does the compiler infer the future structure of tables after a DDL command if it can't do so reliably? In my world, if it becomes public knowledge that a compiler incorrectly infers something, the maintainer scrambles to remove the inference instead.

I also find it surreal that I have to disengage versioning on a table in order to be able to modify the version history. Like surely, there should be a mechanism to temporarily skip the hooks other than ALTERing the table into a regular unversioned database table and then ALTERing it back, rebuilding the versioning infrastructure from scratch. SQL is awful and MSSQL is doubly awful.

god is an unknowable concept, so if you take any sentence that is "noun-verb-noun" and change its logical structure to "noun-verb-!noun, noun-verb-god", it will somehow still make sense. Let's try it:
- "they tortured people" --- "they didn't torture people, they tortured god"
- "he dismissed the case" --- "he didn't dismiss the case, he dismissed god"
- "she forgot about her kid" (plot of Home Alone) --- "she didn't forget about her kid, she forgot about god"

isn't it a weird coincidence that religious rhetoric always adapts flawlessly to the agenda of those who give preachers money? no matter the agenda, it _always_ fits.

here are things that prove god doesn't exist:
- trie (non-binary tree)
- nybble (half a byte)
- .DS_Store
- .Trash-1000
- tsconfig.json
- Electron
for if he existed, he would have never allowed those hubris monuments to be erected in his kingdom.

If ChatGPT calls my problem a "classic" or it's solution a "subtle quirk of <framework>" one more fuckin time I'm gonna be the first human to murder an AI

i ain't gonna build a tetris game for a code test for a job that might force me to work in the office. fuck that shit. code tests are a retarded way of assessing candidates.

@ostream the image i promised to send you, now that image uploads work again

Finished Napoleon Cat!

Images images images!

Pics are back!

Week: 95 (Year 1 )

How is the weekend going?

Question: What makes a person more attractive?

last Weekend : https://devrant.com/rants/18234632

TIL that WebGL treats IBOs and VBOs differently from actual GL, supposedly because it makes security validation easier.

That means you can't `glBindBuffer` to some target and fill in the data, because when you later `glBindBuffer` to `GL_ELEMENT_ARRAY_BUFFER` you'll get 0x0502 GL_INVALID_OPERATION.

One problem though. This is not documented *anywhere*, either in WebGL `.bindBuffer()` or in the GL ES `glBindBuffer` :V

What kind of music are you listening to while coding?
Is it instrumental or lyrical?

Sometimes songs with lyrics districts me

docker-compose.css

We're so back guys! Someone starred my truthchain repo - at this point I'm sure we'll kick X (twitter) out of business! There's only like 90% of the features unsafe and broken and every release has a major flaw and is broken and requires extra bs to work, but it's fine at 0.1.6, imagine someone actually contributed or makes a comment - I would immediately quit my job and dedicate full time (not). 😅

Some Angular Bro: "Angular so great, cowboy programmers hate it."

Me: "Bitch, have you seen the Angular code base I have to work on?!"

There is nothing easier than running an insurance company in the US of A. When a big request comes in from a client in distress that got into a terrible accident that is definitely covered by their (very expensive) plan, you just go to the data bank like Equifax and see if they're still rich enough to win a lawsuit against you should you refuse to pay.

For those of you who don't know what a data bank is: data banks are companies that buy/scrape/suck in every last bit of data they can about every person in the country, and then resell it through their fancy UI with all the convenient features and metrics.

So, Umbrella Insurance Co. goes to Equifax and asks whether Joe Schmoe's accident is severe and life-ruining enough that they won't be able to sue us. Exuifax says: let's see... Joe's Revolut©™ account has the grand total of $80.12, with $7,382.25 recently spent on medical bills. Joe's WhatsApp©™ (a Meta©™ company) classifies their recent messages as "desperate". Joe's iPhone©™ Screen Time©™ is increased, and Joe is doomscrolling a lot, especially on The Washington Post©™ (a Jeff Bezos company). All signs show that if you don't pay them, they won't be able to out-sue you. That would be $0.12, thanks!

As a person who is no one in particular that may or may not have been a US of A's supreme court judge once said, "sometimes it's not about justice, but about making the sucker spend all their money".

Well it finally happened… I deleted the production DB 🤦🏼‍♂️

Rollback successful but lost over 3 hours of production data

Apparently all companies are now a 'cutting-edge, digital transformation partner'. lmao. lol.

— how much for your services?
— $100, no ass to mouth, no rough stuff
— no, I mean how much to rewrite my app in laravel
— I said no ass to mouth

Devrant not loading again... hit refresh... still nothing... is today the day it finally snuffs it?

Sigh with relief as the UI starts to load...

And there it is: a lengthy ode to the best pest control service in Hockaloogie, Alabama.

The natural balance of the universe has been restored.

Yeah turns out writing a shell is a whole lot more work than I thought

Fuck man, why can't I just find a cool project that is actually doable in a normal lifetime

> Ok, the client is performing this HTTP request, it's missing some parameters, let's fix it... inspector has this handy initiator tab, lemme just BY THE RINGS WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS

I still refuse to believe anyone looked at this burning pile of shit you insist on calling a framework and was like "yeah this deserves to be released"

Yes, send me a screenshot of the logs. Beacause I love having to re-type the error you just got. If only there was a way to copy paste text in Slack!

I did not know I was working with my grandma...

- went to the store
- get shot
- call 911
- cops arrive before er
- they're suspicious bc you're black
- ask for your license and registration
- you reach for your pocket to get your driver's license
- "he's reaching!", they say as they mag dump into you
- you die
- your family can't afford funeral while m$ valuation goes from 3 trillion dollars to 4 trillion dollars
- murica!

The junior made some work on the frontend, and... well, it's genuinely good. Nice component, looks good, he used tailwind and the framework properly. It's easy stuff, but he pulled it off nicely and that's how you move from toy projects to complex stuff anyways. This is not a rant, that kid is growing nicely. Let's go.

I was cited in a decent-ish journal article.
Feels like a win.

spent the whole week working on a bug fix last week.

implemented a method to filter some data to make it easier to use in the HTML template.

friday's session with other programmers to review code went well, they said the method is pretty good and works nice. (I must admit there was an elusive bug that prevented the component to render and none of us could figure it out)

i get back on monday to a message from the lead saying the code is unusable and they reverted to the previous (convoluted) way of doing things and i should do the same in the future. just copy their work.

i check the typescript class. fucking method that was used (which he told me not to use and I should copy and work off of), he went and just changed the method's name, and the body is EXACTLY the same as his existing method.

this code base is ridden with re-used methods (I managed to extract two reused ones into a service some time ago), the use of any for 90% of method return types and variables...

WTF. I am losing all of my respect for seniors and faith in this company.

This is why I am burned out. You are farting against a hurricane and everyone else's shit is coming back onto you. This is fucking insane. Or am I insane?

Yo @Lensflare, JoyRant beta expired again. It says I should update my iOS to 17 to continue testing, but my phone only supports 16. What should I do?

There was this one time when I was asked to create screenshots of our game for marketing purposes.

The game supported solely the 480i mode.

Once I delivered the screenshots, PM bitched about them being !good, because of the visible interlace.

...the fun times of the Wii era.

Anyone else just randomly hit Help > About on programs when you’re bored?