My colleague left her PC unlocked with an open project so I changed all her IDE colors to white. White text on white background! 😈

Just received my github mug!

My life in one sentence...

When you are supposed to be taking notes for history, but programming is your meaning of life ❤

So I'm 6 seconds behind devrant servers 😏, who's has the correct time...

If you can't convince them, confuse them!!!

When you're in the middle of coding and people come over.

Head of IT department asked me to configure Apache from phpmyadmin. There occured 5 seconds of silence after he said that.

My boss: "I have an idea for a very important update that we should push to all our apps ASAP."
Me: "I'm not adding a Santa hat to the icons."
My Boss: "............... Carry on"

What the PMs always say: Always be thinking of ways to improve our system.

Me: Hey this is really poorly built. We should rebuild it before moving forward.

PMs: No just use the same code we used before. It was working so we don't need to rebuild it.

Painfully true...

Lol!! +

Since I got fired yesterday. I will be spending more ranting!

When you press CTRL C instead of CTRL V and lose the line you just copied

Advice that I give to interns/grads:

In uni/college, you're taught *how* to code something to achieve a goal, and 99% of the time the code will work and do the job in a lab.

But when building things for a real production environment, you learn the 100 ways how *not* to code, from seeing things break left right and centre - basically everything and anything can break your code, whether it is users, the OS, other people's code, legacy code, lag, concurrency, the alignment of the moon to your server...

But it was working on my machine!

#thingsprogrammersay

Dear dfox,

Thank you for not making your app completely change layouts and screw up scrolling whenever we turn on our sides when reading rants in bed, unlike nearly every mobile web browser out there. We all really appreciate it.

--Random devRanter

A tcp packet walks in to a bar and says “I want a beer”, barman says “you want a beer?” and tcp packet says “yes, a beer” .

In high society, TCP is more welcome than UDP. At least it knows a proper handshake.

A bunch of TCP packets go into a bar, until it’s overcrowded. The next day, half as many go in.

A bunch of TCP packets walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Hang on just a second, I need to close the window.”

When I try to send SYNs to chicks, I don’t get any ACKs. Just FINs and RSTs.

IP packet with TTL=1 arrives at bar. Bartender: “Sorry, can’t let you leave…and you don’t get any beer either…” 

The worst part about token ring jokes is that if someone starts telling one while you are telling yours, all joking stops.

The great thing about TCP jokes is that you always get them.

The problem with TCP jokes is that people keep retelling them slower until you get them.

I would tell some UDP jokes too but I never know if anyone gets them

The best thing about UDP jokes is that I don’t care if you get them or not.

I had a funny UDP joke to tell, but I lost it somewhere...

The sad thing about IPv6 jokes is that almost no one understands them and no one is using them yet.

I tried to come up with an IPv4 joke, but the good ones were all already exhausted.

A DHCP packet walks into a bar and asks for a beer. Bartender says: “here, but I’ll need that back in an hour!

DHCP jokes only work when there is only one person telling them

The worst part of SSH jokes is that, even when they're not funny, you suck it up and just pretend they were anyway.

The problem with token ring jokes is you need to wait your turn to laugh

I’d make a joke about UDP, but I don’t know if anyone’s actually listening…

Petition to officially rename the term 'build' to 'kraken', so QA can shout 'Release the Kraken' and I can shout back 'The Kraken has been released!'.

JSON Bourne!!!

A t-shirt I found online😂

Well.. 😂

So I need to create a nice new web app. Let's look at some cool JS frameworks that I can work with.

*5 mins later* Hm, Angular sounds good, is there any good competitor?

*5 mins later* Wow, React sounds awesome as well. Let me learn it.

Google search result:

"Planning to use react? Check out Vue JS first"

*5 mins later* Ok so vue seems faster than React and much easier to learn. Let me see if Vue is the final choice.

Google search result:

"Angular VS Knockout VS Ember VS React VS Mithril VS Mercury VS Ractive VS Vue VS Riot"

Nope, fuck it

This made me laugh! ++ for the official Notepad++ exception dialog 😋 ...
Source: https://plus.google.com/+notepad-pl...

"sudo !!" Will rerun your last command with sudo privileges in a Linux environment.

You're welcome.

Error! Factory produced more than one instance of Singleton!

How web server works. Brutal reality simply explained. #symfonyCon

I used to get annoyed when my dad(65+ years old) had a simple computer "problem" like copy and paste that I needed to help with.

But then I remembered he showed me how to use a spoon and not shit myself so I guess it all evens out

I literally laughed out loud

Found this in our codebase, apparently one of my co-workers had written this