When the senior Developer has your back

It's an app

<rant about devRant>
Can people please stop posting images stolen from someone else trying to get some points. I'm here to read rants and other interesting things you encounter while working with software development, not look at memes. Thank you.
</rant about devRant>

Me when considering grabbing a cup of coffee after arriving at my desk in the morning: "Do I want to feel more awake or do I not want to have to poop all day?"

Don't have any fucking idea what i am doing 😂😂

I'm a newbie when it comes to programming. The thing I like about devRant is that I'm learning how not to be "that guy" from everyone's complaints.

Here's to devRant teaching us newbs how to not make as much of a mess of things.

When you receive tens of JAVA job offers, just because your online resume says you are good at "Javascript".

2:30 am: Okay, I think I found the bug. I'll try a last compile then I go to bed.
...
4:30 am: sh*t

I work with a few 'idea' and marketing guys. The quicker we can turn out a project, the quicker we can make money. Some days, I can get 3 quick, easy projects out. But sometimes, these guys get 'ideas' that are out of the norm so they can take a few days to get going.

One of the guys had an idea I knew was going to take longer than a day, especially with the rest of my daily tasks. This guy loves reading 'how to run a business' books and tries to say we need it today, 'nothing is impossible' (because it was in his book).

I explain reality to him and he gets all pissy. The following day he tried again, with something that would take less time. 'so, which one do you want? Yeah, I can do that one quicker, but the first one will take longer then.'

This guy don't get it. I will burn everyone of his fucking books.

We all heard of you...

I've been out of programming as my fault job for a while now, still dabble, ... reading the post on here takes me back and almost makes me want to choose something. Ha!

The new generation

How I feel when people ask me to install software.

When you change the color of your syntax highlighting on your code edtor

My Expression when I’m randomly called on in a meeting to explain the code I never wrote

Flu.pleaseGoAway();
> No

1:20 AM - refactoring my configuration management system. I need coffee

I'm Front-end dev and corporate policy doesn't let me upload *.js files, so I rename them to *.txt and change everything in the DOM without their knowledge...

press +1 if you agree

for getting tired of BSOD

Business: "should we use this technology?"
Developers: " probably not but we will do a full investigation and give you a report on the pros cons and our professional opinion... No we should not use that technology"
Business: "oh yeah why you guys were off seeing if it would work we did the deal so now we have to use it"

@programmer

programmers feeling

When they say that app needs to be IE9 supported 10 months into development

When a client calls you after hours saying their website is down, you check it and it's working... Then the client says "oh, I was spelling our own domain wrong"!!!!!

Found this gem in code review today:
$stringValue = (string)-5;

When your Dad questions your CS credentials because you can't fix his printer.